Do you know why it’s important to surround yourself with good people, generally and even in the business?
Let me tell you about my first experience as an entrepreneur.
Coming from a tax-paid system where you never have to think about anything from the business perspective, the clients/patients were there. They pay a fixed sum to the system and I just do the Doctor’s work on my daily list, then I get my salary.
Soon, when I was starting to take the first trembling steps as an entrepreneur trying to figure out the selling and finding clients part, I met a nurse who had a brilliant idea for a business model that made me all ears.
We teamed up! And everybody said we were the perfect team for the business.
OUR STORY AS PARTNERS
First-year was fun. She knew all those things about marketing and I learned a lot but there’s awkwardness.
In year two, we were starting to sell after the first year of mostly building, preparation, and marketing.
The moment we started selling… is the moment we need to start building clients’ trust.
But when we started to sell, people were leaning more on me as I was the Doctor and our biggest product. This made my companion change – as in starting to get mean.
Until one day, after a meeting with a potential client, I received a very long email telling me I was the worst doctor on earth who knew nothing. I really have no idea what happened but hey, imagine the amount of stress!
WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU DON’T CHOOSE YOUR PEOPLE
I went to my business mentor, lost a lot of money, and went bankrupt, worked as a regular Doctor again to pay off the lawyer that helped me.
And to top all those off, the nurse who was my then-partner had all the practical deals and registrations in her personal name, which gave her all the power over all the properties of our joint company.
It was a huge lesson for me! I was very trusting considering I was a newbie in the industry.
Having experienced being my own boss and not being on a payroll, I bounced back and started again, but this time, on my own.
This story shows that you have to have GOOD PEOPLE AROUND YOU.
Had I found a better partner, I wouldn’t be called worst for no reason especially after what felt like a very good client meeting, and I wouldn’t have gone bankrupt or tricked into all the papers. I would have been successful earlier.
Surrounding yourself with good people dramatically improves your quality of life.
In my years of working with Stress Management, I’ve seen that there are a lot of things you need to change to achieve a calmer life.
And that includes – Your Network.
Having a great network should be non-negotiable. Making good connections, surrounding yourself with good, kind-hearted, and positive people will bring you happiness instead of stress. And we all know what being happy can do – in life, and in business.
But where do we start?
Mindset and Energy
First, establishing a mindset that you want a positive change in your life and doing what you can in your power to stick with that mindset aligns with your actions.
Second, getting the energy to go through the process. And as I’ve always mentioned, what better way to get energy than good sleep, good food, and great exercise.
Now that you have the mindset and the energy, you already have what it takes to make some major life changes – such as, changing who you surround yourself with.
But this is where it gets tricky because sometimes we don’t really know who’s good for us and who’s not.
So the question you should be asking yourself is:
When you are with them, do you feel like gaining or draining?
And we all know for a fact that your answer should be the first one because if not, then it just means it’s time..
Time to change your network.
And it even gets trickier..
“I can’t change them, they are my family.”
Or…
“How can I change them, we are basically in the same organization!”
I know, and I HEAR YOU.
I know there are circumstances where it’s basically impossible to change entirely or put the connections that drain you entirely out of your life. That is why this is not a one size fits all solution.
In the first example, you think that your own family drains you. This is very common. And “most” are rooted in the same problem: YOU ARE NOT IN CONTROL.
“What does that mean?”
Connections start the moment we are born. We grow with our family and relatives, and we imitate what we see in them. We also live by their beliefs and opinions because those are the beliefs and opinions we were exposed to. And we believe it’s normal because we choose to believe it is normal – because that is the only way we know… their ways.
But when we start getting exposed to the outside world… and we start to see things differently, we start to realize that there are dozens of different ways aside from what’s instilled in us. Then from there, we learn.
And it’s good. But IS IT ENOUGH?
Maybe. Maybe not.
Because if it is, then why are you draining?
Because you are settling. Settling for the beliefs and opinions that other people wanted you to believe. And I’m sorry to be the one to break it out to you but, it will never be enough until you believe your own beliefs, and choose your own choices.
YOU ARE THE DRIVER OF YOUR LIFE
And for the people being in the same organization that’s draining you?
Here are the three things that I can advise you:
1. Reflect on yourself. Maybe you are not always presenting yourself as a positive person? Always start with changing how you behave yourself in front of other people. Smile, observe, and truly listen – because positive energy is contagious – feelings are contagious.
2. Stay casual. Number 1 did not work? It’s okay. Because by then, you already know that it’s not you, it’s them. If the 1st step did not work, then try as little interaction as you can have. No segues, just pure work-relationship and remember to always come emotionally prepared.
3. RETREAT! Both step 1 and step 2 did not work? Leave as soon as you can before severe damage.
“But why is retreating an option? Aren’t we supposed to look for solutions? Then why are we backing out?”
Because some things are out of our control and we have to accept that.
A good example is when I had a co-op with a person with an agenda of her own for a year which took me 3 years in a nightmare to get out of. I am a Stress Management Expert, and a Doctor – but even I had to retreat. So unless you specialize in these cases, or have more than a gigantic amount of patience and understanding – I’d say, LEAVE BEFORE IT BREAKS YOU. Besides, we’re looking for solutions, not more problems.
Once again, surround yourself with good people and always remember – “You become like the 5 people you spend the most time with”.
LESSONS LEARNED
But hey, no reason to dwell on the past. No regrets, only lessons learned! 🙂
And the main lesson I want to share with you all is the IMPORTANCE of being SURROUNDED BY GOOD PEOPLE.
Here’s a relevant blog post that helps you how you can apply this lesson I am sharing with you today.
Once you have successfully done this, you’ll have a happier and less toxic life.
Kindly,
