Trip to the USA! Sounds thrilling, exciting, and everything! Right?
But who would have expected, that this trip would cause my heart rate to increase due to a very stressful moment?
THE SCENARIO
In mid-June, I traveled to the USA for the first time in 3 years. I was going to New York City for a very special project that was supposed to be finished more than a year ago.
It was my first time traveling since the Coronavirus so effectively shut the world down (it’s actually my 3rd try to get there, all being postponed or canceled due to increasing Covid cases).
And even if I am not scared for my health of getting the infection I absolutely did not want to get it over there with all the inconveniences and the extra costs that would add to my life.
So now was the time in mid-June. Virus levels in society were very low and all restrictions were gone. Yippie!
THE FIRST THREAT
The first stressful threat came a few days before departure:
On the news: “There is chaos on Arlanda in Stockholm because of lack of security personnel. Waiting time was days in line and car traffic chaos, they redirected the traffic to other terminals and more. And the problem was spread at least in Europe”.
Solution: Well I was traveling from Copenhagen airport. Did they have the same problem? What can I do about it?
I searched the internet for info and did not find much. I sat calmly in the “boat” as we say (even if I was about to fly) and on the day I went there 4 hours early. It took me 1 hour to get through security, and that gave me 3 hours for a nice cup of coffee, some time for work, and some time for rest, just watching people.
WHAT HAPPENED ON THE FLIGHT TO USA
On the flight, not much exciting happened, I watched 2 movies, rested, and ate.
What struck me was that the plane was full to the last seat, no one wore a mask and it was like the Coronavirus never existed.
On-site, at Newark airport, it was easy to find the bus taking us into NYC. A nice thing happened when I was to pay.
The driver said:
“That is $11 for you as a senior citizen”
I later found out that the regular price was $20 AND all the taxi services took around $100 for the same ride. WOW, was I happy I had looked a little deeper into the possibilities?
The bus station was just 1 block away from my hotel.
It is extremely expensive with hotels in NYC. I had picked one of the cheap ones and a very tiny room – yes with a bathroom of my own, I am too old to share (lol).
THE SECOND STRESSFUL MOMENT
I had booked 5 nights, and I was to pay there. I gave my business credit card and the lady said she would not take it. I knew there was money but their system did not accept it.
I had 2 private cards too and we tried those – not accepted as well – and there was probably not enough room left on the credit card for that amount.
I asked for info to do a transfer, “No we don’t do that” – they said.
I asked for an invoice, “No we don’t do that” – she said.
She then asked for cash – I had enough for one night.
I paid, all sweaty and shaking, for ONE NIGHT.
My thoughts were spinning around – what if I don’t find a way around this situation – where will I stay the following four nights???
I went up to the room on the 22nd floor, shakingly got my computer up on the small table, and found the technical cords and devices needed to get the computer working. I then logged into my bank account (thank you universe for the system we have to identify us via the phone).
Got in and looked at the info around my cards – and yes – the card was ticked for “not being used in the States” and I could untick it and save (hopefully that would make things work).
I hurried down to the lobby again and asked the girl to check if it would now work – and YES,
What a relief! I paid for 5 nights – would get a receipt when I left.
Lesson learned…
Check your settings around money BEFORE you leave.
MY NEXT DAYS
The next day I spent a few hours in company with a friend Frank Iovine from the ElevateElite speaker group that we both belong to. It is such a treat to be able to meet people that you only know from a zoom window, to meet in real life (thanks for the lunch Frank! Lol).
On the third day, which is also my 3rd stressful moment – after 2 nights of being there – the cleaning lady came after lunchtime – and all she asked was if I was leaving today, I said no, I have 3 more nights, and she left without emptying the waste baskets or anything.
Soon thereafter she knocked on the door, another knock came in – a lady, looking like a manager, stood outside and asked if I was leaving. I said, “No, I have 3 more nights and I have paid for it”.
She said that in her papers, it says I was leaving after 2 nights.
She repeated that several times and I asked her to check the system since I had paid for 5 nights.
This was very stressful and it took me some time to get back into the work I was doing.
About 2 hours later, the hotel phone rang. I answered and this man asked when I was leaving – and again I said, “On Sunday, 3 more nights”.
Then he started babbling about how they said I was to leave today and it was getting late.
By then, my stress system was fully in action!
I said “I am staying 3 more nights and I have paid for it” and I also said that they apparently have a structure problem in their system because this lady has already been here and she was going to set things right. Finally, we hung up.
Soon thereafter I was going to buy some food and when I passed the lobby I asked who I had talked to and I asked if he had seen I was right.
He kept babbling about it, saying in his system that I had been very rude to him.
No “excuse us – we were wrong”.
I was close to tears, shaking – and the other person sitting there grinned at me in a weird way as if she was amused that I was crushed. Still, another man working there sitting a bit away looked at me with sympathy but he did not say anything.
I went out, got my food, and felt better after eating.
Later in the evening that nicer man was up at the desk, so I went to him and said: “I am sorry for being emotional but I am a bit stressed right now”.
He said it was a human error from their side – everything was in order. And he thanked me for coming up to talk.
Lesson learned…
It is never wrong to be the first one to say sorry – even though I still think they have structural problems AND some staff issues behaving like this with an unhappy guest (but it is out of my system).
MY BIG DAY
The next day was my big day, the main goal for this trip – filming in my speaker mentor Tricia Brouk´s movie Big Stages.
I was told to be at the address way out in Brooklyn at 9:15 am. The trip was supposed to take about an hour from door to door. I had carefully looked for subway numbers and such the day before.
Okay… so I got my coffee at 7 when the shop opened. Had a quick bagel breakfast and off I went – found the subway station – got my ticket – and started to walk towards the line I was taking. Walked for about 10 minutes underground – this way, that way, this way and finally got on the train.
The thing is when I got off the train at the right station…
I had a not-so-detailed map and started walking – and asked for clear directions 3 times but almost all were unclear and vague answers.
So more walking and walking, and yeah while it is hot and time is passing.
Finally, I saw 2 ladies to ask. And who would have known…. They pointed in the totally opposite direction from where I was heading!
Yes, my stress system again started working – I still have 30 minutes and I follow their instructions, see the landmarks they talk about, and walk, but still can’t find out from my map and I see this guy and he thinks I am just about right but he is not from there.
Finally (this time real final, lol), a guy on a bike stops and asks if we need help.
He knows directly where it is – one street to the right and has to go back 3 blocks.
I got there just in time – exhausted, all red in my face and hair dripping with sweat.
Fortunately, there was a hair dryer there and they had a makeup girl helping me look normal again. The sad part is that I did not take a photo, that would have been so beautiful.
It was also so nice to meet Tricia face to face as we’ve been working already for a couple of years.
THE FILMING – THE MAIN PROJECT
After a while, I was back on track with my stress levels on a lower level – but we were going to film and I did not know what was going to happen.
We decided on two scenes – one where she asks me about my Why and then a scene with her coaching me.
It was great fun – lots of waiting time – but great fun – and in the afternoon I got back to the hotel – via an Uber with Tricia. Totally exhausting that I just binge-watched TV the rest of the day.
Also, the film will come out early next year but the thought is that finally, we’ve done it, yay!
THE DAY AFTER FILMING
The next day, I had nothing planned.
I had thought of doing some sightseeing but I was just too tired and I wanted to be kind to myself so I just walked nearby and rested.
Then came the day to travel back home. Got to the airport in good time, no queue in the safety check – HAVE NEVER seen that before – NO people in line – just pass through – A REAAALLY nice flight back home during the night so only one movie and then sleep.
SUMMARY
This was my first trip in almost 3 years. Some really stressful moments, lots of good moments, and great meetings with great people.
I learned my own lessons, and hopefully, you learn from me too.
MY TIPS FOR YOU:
Check the circumstances on the travel service both in the time for traveling – but also the possibilities/choices you have (remember my bus fare).
Be in a good time – better too early – plan for what to do while waiting instead of getting angry waiting.
Check your pay system BEFORE you go – is my card valid – do I have enough cash in case the card doesn’t work, etc.
Calculate more time when going someplace unknown to you – or be prepared to take a taxi, lol.
Enjoy your trip – all my hurdles were worldly, and no one got hurt – except my soul when they kept telling me I was to leave according to their papers (but it all worked out and I gave my apologies first – which made me grow).
Take a deep breath when you feel the stress coming – get back into the now because that is where you can think, where you can see the challenge clearly.
Vacation – the time when we’re supposed to de-stress. But why, for some reason, it sometimes causes even more stress?
PLANNING ON YOUR VACATION
Ugh, just hearing the word itself – “planning”, already triggers stress to some, especially if they’re the ones responsible to do it.
“What are the things to do?”
“When do we go somewhere and when do we just stay home?”
“What’s our itinerary to make the most out of it?”
“Do our schedules match?” “If we’re going somewhere, what are on the list of things to bring?”
And so on, and so on….
Bet you can relate to the above scenarios. 🙂
THINGS TO DO TO LESSEN STRESS ON VACATION
Regardless of what type of vacation it is – whether it’s the vacation where you just stay home or the vacation where you go out of town – there are always stressors around.
Being one to experience vacation stressors myself (friends coming unannounced when you had other plans, traveling with 3 kids, you name it), I have compiled this list that can help with lessening the stressors or at least doing something so that they do not cause THAT much stress.
1. Remember that it’s okay to ask.
Being the one responsible for planning, we sometimes forget to ask the people who we’re staying with during the vacation period or sometimes just don’t bother asking at all because we take the responsibility too seriously.
But hey, not asking when it’s just right to do so may even lead to more complications. If you can set the expectations straight, or know their expectations so you can work around them earlier than the time of the vacation itself – why not do that, right? It saves you from any unforeseen troubles come the time of the vacation when expectations are not met and disappointments come.
So, go and straighten it all out beforehand. 🙂
2. Designate.
To be clear, you’re responsible for planning but that doesn’t mean that you’re also responsible for the things to bring. It’s important for those two different things as I’ve seen some who go an extra mile and bring everything because that’s “part of their plan”.
Why plan to bring “this and that” if you can plan to assign “A” to bring “this” and “B” to bring “that”, right?
Tip: When it comes to food, do not forget to ask about allergies, or what some eat or don’t eat.
3. Set healthy boundaries.
Maybe some relatives or close friends know that you’re soon into your vacation period, and you know them to be very outgoing that the moment they know you actually do have free time they come over unannounced, and while that’s nice because you know how bad they want to see you, it can still be stressful especially if we aren’t prepared for it (maybe you’re exhausted, you had other plans, or you just simply don’t wanna hang out).
Whatever reason you have, know that it’s valid. But we also know how rude we can come off if we tell them to go especially if they have traveled far – so it’s really important that we act first.
If we know that they know about our upcoming vacation and we do not plan to have a meetup or gathering yet, we can politely tell them “Hey I know you’ll probably come over the moment my vacation starts (and I’d love that), but I have other plans and we might end up not seeing each other so I’ll let you know when is a good time”. – And this, a simple notice like this saves us from future unexpected stress.
4. It’s okay not to give in to expectations.
We all know that vacation is also the time when people expect you to get out of your house, have a party, or just hang out and drink with them. But if this is not you (like you don’t party because you find it tiring, or you don’t like the taste of alcohol), then you do not have to give in to their expectations. 🙂
You can never be happy living a life full of other people’s expectations of who you should be or what you should do in this certain period of time – so remember to keep your will strong and spend the time how you want to (like, you can hang out and drink juice while they’re drinking alcohol, or not come at all if it’s not your game).
5. Mindfulness is all it takes.
To sum it all up, what it takes is you being mindful…
Be mindful when planning, be mindful of what seems okay to you and what is not, and be mindful of what you think you want to do during your vacation period.
Whether vacation for you is lounging on the couch or at the beach, it’s your vacation so YOU decide on what to do and what to grab. 🙂
So, what is it gonna be? PJs or swimwear?! Let me know in the comments!
“Take the time off” – a very lovely phrase that can make us throw off a really big smile.
But why when we hear that it makes us smile too big, as if we have been REAAAAALLY longing for it for a very long time?
It can be rewarding to hear that, but it must be normalized.
NORMALIZING TIME OFFS
Time offs must be normalized. Time offs don’t always have to be because of sickness or emergencies, but must also be given regularly to maintain a healthy working environment.
Time offs don’t always have to be long. They can even be just 20-30 minutes filled with fun games, ice breakers, walk time, or nap time.
Or they can be one or 2 days in one month where people can spend that day doing whatever.
DIFFERENT WAYS TO GET BREAKS
Breaks or time-offs can be done with a lot of different things, as long as it means getting your mind rested and removing yourself even for a while from the stressful situation or environment.
Short quiet breaks – short quiet breaks help with focus. It can be spent by walking, doing nothing, or can also be spent by just taking really deep breaths to practice mindfulness.
Short energizer breaks – don’t want a short quiet break but one for energy boost instead of for focus? Then try spending short breaks doing fun things such as singing, dancing, jumping, jamming, or just playing a fun game.
Day off – get a day off if you know you’d need the whole day to sort things out before you can regain your focus. Spend the day doing nothing, or doing everything you need to do. It’s entirely up to you.
Book a vacation – book that long vacation you have been planning. Some need longer periods of break, and this is normal.
REGULAR SHORT BREAKS vs. RARE LONG BREAKS
It’s either this or that, no in-betweens. So if you are the employer or the boss, you must decide which one you’d like to prioritize for the mental well-being of all your workers.
Do you prefer them to take regular short breaks to boost everyday productivity, or do you maximize their work energy until they feel drained and take that long break to get them refreshed?
Remember, regular short breaks prevent burnout and overwhelm which eventually leads to long breaks or worse, permanent breaks (if you know what I mean, lol).
HAVING “TIME OFF” IS ACTUALLY GOOD
In fact, research even CONSISTENTLY shows the health benefits of taking time offs, and there is a research about time offs that shows that employees rate paid vacation as the No. 2 most-important benefit after health care.
So yes, take that time off in every way possible and in however way you want it, as long as you take it is what matters.
MAKE YOUR TIME OFF PRODUCTIVE IF YOU PREFER
If you’re like me who also wants to be productive even on their time off, here’s a personal development e-book that you can read during your time-off, to come back for a refreshing start.
We are all aware how sometimes it seems like there’s nothing we can do about stress at work and home, but there actually are steps that we can take to maintain them at a minimum.
But first, why is it even important to “manage” our stress?
Living with high levels of stress puts our entire well-being at risk. It affects us both emotionally and physically. With uncontrolled stress, we seem to make bad decisions that we regret later on because when we’re already stressed, we have the tendency to avoid thinking more, only to end up adding more stress when we start regretting our choices. Sounds familiar?
On the contrary…
Being able to manage our stress effectively increases our productivity because we do more and are more efficient when we are happy.
What seems to be confusing and hard to most is… That we need a happy life to be less stressed but at the same time need our stress levels at a minimum to be able to live a happy life.
The key?
Finding the BALANCE.
THE BALANCE
The ultimate key to keeping your stress levels down is living a balanced life for family, friends, relationships, work, hobbies, relaxation, fun, and just about finding the time to do the things that you love – heck, you can even experiment to figure out more things that could actually make you happy!
Sounds easy, right?
But the problem is that… In stress management, just like in everything else – there’s not a one-size-fits-all solution. But of course, IT’S ALWAYS POSSIBLE.
Having that said, here are tips in stress management that you can try:
1. Identifying the sources
Think of it, how can you solve something if you do not know what’s causing it?
Wait – don’t get too comfortable, this isn’t as easy as it sounds. It could be easy to identify major stressors like big or unexpected life changes, but what about those that have always been there?
Let’s say you feel like you’re stressed every day because of the job demands, so you blame the demands of the job immediately for your stress – you resigned.
Before you resigned, have you ever tried looking at your “own ways”? Maybe you’re procrastinating, maybe you just need to be more efficient and need to have a structure you can follow. Get the point?
To truly identify which is which, you need to CLOSELY evaluate your habits and attitude or responses to things being thrown at you. How do you react? Have you tried changing it, or trying a different way?
Remember, until you learn to change your responses to positive ones, your stress level will remain outside your control.
BONUS: Start a stress journal for easy tracking. Jot down things like what caused your stress, how it made you feel, how did you respond, and what you did to feel better. Believe me, it goes a LONG WAY!
2. Practicing the 4 A’s
While we can’t predict when stress comes, there are actually some stressors that we can easily identify (e.g. commuting to work, upcoming meetings, daily responsibilities) but can NEVER escape.
When it comes to those types of stressors, the only thing that we can change is the way we handle them. We already know that we cannot change the situation and that there’s nothing we can do, so we can only change our reaction.
And that’s where the 4 A’s come in: Avoid, Alter, Adapt, Accept
Avoid: Is the situation avoidable? If yes, then this is the best that you can do, even if that means avoiding certain people. Set your own healthy boundaries and always know when to say NO. After all, taking more than what you know you can handle is one of the best ways to fluctuate your stress on a high level.
Alter: As I’ve mentioned, there are stressors that we cannot escape from. If a situation is unavoidable, altering is your best option. Just change the way you run your life. If you’re used to holding up your emotions, learn to speak up – or if you’re used to not speaking to keep your cool, try to be more assertive and communicative in a very open and respectful way, even if that includes compromising, because hey – it takes two to tango!
Adapt: Can’t change a stressor? Swim with it. Reframe problems and view them from a more positive perspective, like instead of getting agitated in heavy traffic, use it to listen to your favorite songs or sing in the car and enjoy some alone time. Just – always look at the bigger picture!
Accept: If all else fails and you feel like you’re left with none – you’ll be surprised as this is the most magical one. Acceptance – accepting a diagnosis of a serious illness, accepting the death of loved ones, accepting whatever’s bound to come. This could be the hardest, but in the long run – your key to healing and happiness.
3. Just get moving
This may be the last thing you probably feel like doing when you’re stressed, but physical activity is a huge stress reliever. You don’t have to be an athlete or a gym rat, to begin with – just try to start it and experience the benefits. You’ll be shocked that one day it becomes a habit and a go-to for energy and mood boost.
4. The calm in connecting
There is nothing more calming and refreshing than REALLY connecting with another human being. And when I say connecting, it doesn’t necessarily mean talking nonstop together. It could also mean just spending time together eating good food, watching a good movie, or absolutely just doing nothing and just feeling the warmth these people bring.
5. Dedicating some ALONE time
While it sounds boring to some, once you try spending time with yourself doing the things you love, you’ll get addicted to it. You will have the time to relax, reflect, and have the best conversations you can have with yourself.
ARE YOU READY?
Are you ready to maintain your stress at a minimum?
Start the action steps one by one, or access my complimentary full guide HERE.
I guess you are like most people – sometimes you feel at the top when you wake up in the morning – and sometimes you are on a low; which makes you often wonder: “How do I consistently stay at the top when I wake up and start my day positively?”
WAKING UP TIRED
You wake up tired, and your head feels heavy even if you have been sleeping, still your energy feels drained. And since we need energy in everything that we do, we feel unmotivated to move if not fueled enough with it, at the end affecting our mood.
OUR ENERGY
Talking about energy – we can’t buy it or get it from anybody else. We have to generate it ourselves through healthy living.
But how do we get enough energy?
Our sleep, what we eat, and believe it or not – our physical activity.
I know what you could possibly be thinking, that we lose energy after physical activity. And while that’s true that we get tired by working out hard, doing it correctly on the other hand builds up energy.
HOW TO GET IT RIGHT
Physical activity, when done correctly and in the right amount our body can handle, helps in building up our energy. We don’t have to do those hard workouts if we do not want to, but just simply “move our body”.
7 DIFFERENT OUTCOMES
Let’s take a look at the 7 possible different outcomes. The goal is to get you out of your couch potato mode and help you find a winning activity for a daily good mood and energy.
1.Sleep
Sleep is NOT a waste of time contrary to what some believe – it is the source of life. During sleep, we do the “housecleaning of the brain” so to speak. Memories get organized, waste products are washed out, and we get refreshed.
This also means that…
If the sleep is broken or interrupted, and not giving you the rest you really need, you will still end up waking tired.
Where does physical activity come in?
Exercising soon before bedtime disturbs the sleep hormone Melatonin, pumps our blood flow, and keeps the “alert hormones” pumping so we’re actually doing ourselves a disservice.
“What about night workouts then, is it time to say goodbye?”
Well, workouts are always better in the mornings – but if only nights work for you, at least make sure it’s not close to your bedtime.
Tip: Slow movements like evening outdoor walks help in slowing down your system and prepare you to sleep, and starting a day with either a hard workout, a brisk walk, or yoga meditation helps in setting out a good day.
2. SELF-ESTEEM
Okay, relevance?
With low self-esteem, physical activities feel hard, to begin with. It can make you feel as if every movement you make is awkward – even if it’s not.
Until you finally decide to try THAT ONE TIME, and you feel great and proud of it. You can’t explain why, but it makes it possible to think of doing it again because it made you feel good for some reason.
It does so because the regular moving of your body rewires your brain’s perception of self-confidence and respect – and you now know you are capable.
So in the end – your chosen physical activity has helped your self-belief and you have grown in the eyes yourself, and if you look back, you’ll realize that that one move you were not so confident to take before, now’s actually a part of your daily routine. Congratulations!
3. Better Focus and Memory
Now that you have boosted your self-esteem, we can see other good effects of moving your body like helping your memory and focus, all because of the endorphins released that boost your mood and sharpens your mind.
Together with the improved sleeping and lowered stress that comes with physical activity, we get all these fantastic benefits!
4. DAILY ENERGY INCREASE
As we started off to tell – “WE” are energy. And that energy can become stagnant if we just sit still, so we need to move to release the energy to make us feel alive.
“How?”
Energy is created in our mitochondria – they are our power machine and they exist in ALL our cells. They work around the clock to help us stay alive – and they create, and create energy.
Tip: The mitochondria are dependent on food intake of good quality to function at its best – so beware of what you eat…
5. HIGHER STRESS RESILIENCE
Regular exercise lowers the cortisol levels in our blood, which is a great way to increase tolerance to our life stressors.
Exercise, even at low levels, releases chemicals in our muscles that signal our brain to change. These chemicals reduce anxiety and depression and boost moods.
Tip: If you know you get overwhelmed easily, regular exercise eventually makes lasting structural brain changes that make you more resilient.
6. MOVING AS MEDITATION
Fun fact… exercise can be a meditation in itself.
I talked last week about cleaning and textile work as meditation. This is in the same system. You might think of meditation as something you need to do very regulated – almost a bit secret. But it is not!
Meditation is basically “getting into the moment” – and can be done anywhere. Focusing on your breath is a central piece of meditation and that is what you can do when you do your chosen way of meditation.
7. LOWERS DEPRESSION
Exercising is proven to be as effective as antidepressant medications. When I am working in the health care clinic, I usually prescribe a 30-minute brisk walk to my patients as their first pill.
How does it work?
Well, exercise releases feel-good hormones (endorphins), and as they flow into our blood system in larger amounts while walking, it helps in suppressing our moody feeling and we feel positive.
SUMMARY
Physical activity has an immensely good effect on so many levels in our lives.
So, get out of bed, start building the new habit of starting the day with a brisk walk or any other physical activity, and your thinking, self-esteem, memory, mood, and sleep, and more will all win big time!
WHERE TO START
There is only one right time to start and that is NOW, so what are you waiting for….?
No matter your age, gender, color, or religion – it works the same for all of us.
The investment is in you – and it will benefit you until your last breath on earth. Live while you can!
This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish.AcceptRead More
Privacy & Cookies Policy
Privacy Overview
This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are as essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
