Today I want to tell you about the story I heard at the business breakfast meeting that I was attending this morning. The story comes from a lady who works in media and she told us about a company that she had been visiting or working with before.
We were talking about leadership and stress and what happens when you get too stressed out then and all the things that surround that. That was today’s theme.
She told us about this company that she was working with and it was a rather big company and in one of the departments where she was hired to do some media work she soon realized that through the guy who was her “helper” so to speak that nobody in that work group were happy, they were stressed out. They felt bad and everyone said “it’s the boss!”, because they had this lady boss and she was always screaming, yelling and demanding things and whatever they did was never enough, as seen from her point of view. That’s what they thought at least.
People were starting to go on sick leave because they didn’t feel well and there were even some of them were saying things like:
“I need to go and get another job. I can’t stand this anymore. I don’t want to be in this mess. She is not a good boss and I do not want to work with that kind of people.”
That’s how everyone was talking and the mood in the group was just getting lower and lower and the more they complained or didn’t do exactly what they were supposed to do this lady screamed even louder.
So one day the guy who hired the lady from my business group went higher up the management ladder to try and figure out a way to resolve the situation. He spoke to the manager of the team leader that was causing the problems and explained the situation. He said if you don’t do anything right now then this work group is finished. It’s just not gonna work anymore. People are going to leave or get sick from the stress of it all so you have to do something.
They booked a meeting where the screaming boss and her boss was there plus a few from the work group and they put all the cards on the table.
“This is how we feel.”
“This is what’s going on.”
“We don’t want this anymore.”
“What do you have to say?”
She started crying. She cried and cried and then she said:.
“I had no idea I was doing this to you. I didn’t realize.”.
When they talked for a while everyone saw that it was actually her that was so stressed out that she could not think and she was just going on autopilot.
When you are that stressed out your brain doesn’t work, you do things that you don’t want to do and it’s so hard to see it yourself. People in her workgroup had seen things with her getting worse and worse but but they haven’t dared to say anything to her. The longer the time was going on the worse it got and it was getting harder and harder to actually do something.
She did not want it to be this way. When she was acting out like she was she was crying for help. Her own management team organized things in a good way so that everyone was happy. She’s still in the position and that they are doing a good job helping her and her work team by putting together structures so that it won’t happen again.
And they opened up they opened up the way of being in the group, the tolerance, the transparency and the trust within the group. If you want to be a good leader you need to give the group these things so that they feel trusted they have to feel that they they are believed in and I think this story teaches us a lot of what you need to be leader.
If you need help or if you are stressed out you do have to go and get help or hopefully someone in your nearby will see what’s going on and they will give you help and you have to take care of yourself and you know what I talk about when I talk about taking care of yourself it all starts with looking at your sleep seeing that you’re eating properly and that you exercise so that you get the energy to actually take care of yourself. And then you have to work with the structures and all that that’s surrounding you.
If you need help with this feel free to reach out and we’ll find a solution on how to help you. Know someone who might find this helpful? Feel free to share this blog with them.
Today we’re here in the middle of January and this is the time of the year when most people have had their new year’s promises going for a few weeks, promising themselves that this is going to be the year that I am starting to exercise and I’m starting to make the big changes I need to make etc.
But, by this time in January so many people have already fallen out of that new routine because it’s very hard to start new routines and especially if you promise yourself too much.
It’s very easy to promise yourself too much because you really do want to make changes but you just don’t know how. This is because you’re comfortable with your old routines and it’s the life that you know. You go back into the old routines because it’s an easier way to live.
Today I want to present to you a thought that I had been working on about making a routine that you can stick to and that will help you tremendously in the long run, but it will take some time and you’ll have to be consistent.
I am going to talk about a morning routine. All my mentors and all their mentors, from what I understand, they talk about morning routines and that that’s what you need to have to be a successful person, and I do agree so far. Then they talk about what is this morning routine. Most of them say they take about one hour or maybe two hours in their routine that includes reading books to inspire you, it’s about writing for yourself or journaling about what you’re going to do during the day and it’s about exercising to energise you for the day.
If you have a morning routine that takes one hour it is very, very hard to implement. If you are a hardworking boss in a company or in your own company or you’re employed as an executive and you have the responsibility for a lot of things then it might be very hard to set aside a full hour in the morning because there is so much to do.
I have been thinking about how can one change that to get to getting good morning routine that will help you but that doesn’t take an hour. So what I wanted to suggest today is a short version of the successful people’s morning routines and I’ve tried it out for some time now and I find it’s easy to implement and it’s really keeping me going in a good way that I wanted it to do.
You do have to put in something and that is you have to get out of bed 15 minutes before you usually do. You have to set your alarm 15 minutes earlier and I am sure that is doable for just about anybody. In the long run maybe you have to go to bed 15 minutes earlier in the evenings because you do need to have your full sleep. I totally agree on that.
What I want you to use those 15 minutes for is to when you when you wake up. You sit up on your bed or if you do have your better half sleeping in the same room then maybe you should go out of the room so that you don’t disturb them.
Sit on your bed or on a chair somewhere else in the house or in your apartment and then you stretch. Start with stretching your arms above your head then roll your shoulders and continue down the rest of your body for about three to four minutes until you feel that you have opened up your body a bit.
Next up I want you to sit quietly and concentrate on the day ahead. You can close your eyes if it helps you visualise but you don’t have to.
Is there an important meeting?
Is there something else important that you are going to do or is it just ordinary things?
Whatever it is that you have coming up during your day I want you to think about what you are doing in a good way. I want you to talk yourself through the things you’ll be doing in present time just like you are in the middle of doing it. For example: “I am having this meeting, it’s real, we’re having a nice conversation. We talk about the positive things that I want to happen from that meeting and I can see we have a good result from the meeting and we are friends afterwards.”.
I can’t predict every situation but whatever you’re doing think about it in present time and in a positive way with a good outcome. Also if there is something special you need to to do that day that is hard you say I am doing it with ease. It’s going to be very good. And then after those few minutes you say to yourself. “Today is a good day.” And that’s it.
That maybe takes 10 of those 15 minutes the rest of the 15 minutes I want you to have this kind of a spare time because moving around takes time too and we don’t want to rush anything.
You can also use it to have your breakfast in a relaxed way. Just a tiny bit slower or at least you won’t be running for the bus whilst eating or eating in the car.
One of the biggest points is to make sure you’re not rushing and that you’re kinda slowing down your whole world.
When you get to your job, to your workplace you will be in a good mood because you have set a good mood inside your brain. It’s scientifically known that if you think in a positive way things are going to be more positive. That doesn’t mean that it has to be the perfect outcome every time because that’s not how it works, but the more positive good thoughts and good expectations you have the better it will be.
This is my tip for today you just take those extra 15 minutes and practice everyday.
You can do it on the weekends too when you’ll talk about what you’re going to do during the weekend.
If you like this post then feel free to share this post with someone you think needs it. If you need help with it just reach out on the link below and we’ll have a chat and see what I can do for you.
Welcome back to the Ask Dr Annika blog in this early part of 2019. In my weekly dose of calm, I help stressed-out business leaders to calm down and do a better job.
It’s now the beginning of January with the whole of 2019 in front of us. It’s a time to reflect and the time to think of “what do I want to make of this upcoming year and what can I change from last year.”
I read an article the other day that was a guide for new leaders, for young leaders and people who have not been leaders for a long time.
There are two different ways to look at being in authority in the workplace, there’s being the boss and then there’s being a leader. When you’re in a position of authority you are the “boss” and being the boss doesn’t necessarily make you a leader. If you are a boss you have the authority but to be a leader you need to have a different kind of authority among the people that you are supposed to lead. A great leader does not have the authority just by the rules they set but by the heart of the people.
That’s what I love to help people to build into their leadership or position as “boss”.
Let’s get back to the article and the points that I feel will help you approach your leadership in 2019. I read a few things that I think that everyone who is in this position can reflect on and maybe you’ll even be reminded to apply these points again if you have forgotten along the way.
I want to take some of the points that they talked about in this article the first thing was that:
Leadership or career is not a sprint race it’s a marathon, a long-term one. You have to take care of your energy so that you will last all the way to the end. So you have to stop and reflect every now and then and don’t just run, run, run. Sit down, take a deep breath, let your journey take it’s time because if you do work consistently and you do the hard work and not just the hustling then you will be good at what you do, because doing things over and over again in a good manner, well that’s good practice and that makes you good at what you do.
You have to do it over and over again to be the best. Take for example all the people that are musicians, they need to rehearse and rehearse and rehearse and then they are the best in the end and it’s the same way with leadership.
The second thing that I think was very important in this article was that leadership is about people not about things. You have to handle people not lists of things to do because the way you handle the people that’s the result you’re going to get. So you need to practice to listen to what other people say. You are still the boss and you are the one that has the final decision but if you listen to your people then your decisions are probably going to be better for the whole organization.
So that’s the second thing I wanted to point out – it’s about people so take care of the people.
The third thing that was also very good that I think is especially important for young leaders but also for everyone really is that you get yourself a broad spectrum of ages in the network that you have. Have friends or colleagues in all age ranges because then you’ll get new ideas from young people and you’ll have the wisdom of experience from people that have been a great leader for some time.
You should also find people that that’s that are the same kind of people that you are, in that sense that you feel fine with them. I’m not telling you that you all should be exactly the same because that is not a good workgroup in itself because then you will not see or hear new ideas because you are all of the same mind.
You need people from with different kind of views but you have to have people that you like and you can like people with different views than the ones that you have or people seeing things from different views that you do on an everyday basis.
Finally, let’s look at mistakes. Mistakes are something inevitable in life and in the workplace. If you make mistakes or if your people make mistakes see it as money for learning because everyone does mistakes it’s it’s inevitable and everyone will do it, even you. Even if you think you’re perfect you will do mistakes every now and then and that’s fine as long as you stand for what you have done and you can say excuse me I am sorry if it was hurting someone or costing someone else something. You’re only human and making mistakes is human.
These are the things that I wanted to reflect on before getting fully into the swing of 2019. I wish you a very very happy new year and a very prosperous one and I hope that my little tips will start helping you to reflect on what is important really because it’s people that’s important in the long run and don’t forget your family of course they are more important than anything.
Remember if you do need help with anything when it comes to stress management for yourself at work or in relation to your work team then feel free to connect. You can click the link below to connect and we’ll have a chat. Until next time.
Happy Holidays to everyone! I hope you’re enjoying the season of good will and being good to yourselves?
Just in case you’re not being so good or getting caught up in the stressful side of the holidays here’s three tips to keep your energy levels up and stress levels down:
Today I am out on my early morning walk and it’s not that bright outside here in Sweden. We are now past midwinters day which is the shortest day of the year and I’m really looking forward to the days and especially mornings getting gradually lighter!
At this time of the year where I live it’s usually raining and really dark and I’m so looking forward to this changing but I want to discuss is that even though it is dark and kind of tough to get out of bed it doesn’t serve you to stay in bed and quit the morning walk because the morning walk is your way to get the energy. For those of you who do that.
Also the the exercise you get from it and the moving of your body has so many other good benefits because your brain is made for walking and movement so don’t quit the morning walk or the lunch walk or the afternoon or evening walk., whatever you do even though it’s dark and raining outside like it is here right now.
The second thing that is for this time of the year, because the holiday season is coming up, is the food . We tend to overeat in the holidays because there is food everywhere. Lots of good food with a lot of fat in it and sugar and that tastes so much better. But that is cheating your energy levels..
Be careful of how much you eat. You can eat whatever you want but be careful out of the amount.
There are actually studies showing that the people who grow very old they eat less. I’ve heard so many of them being interviewed and they say they eat just below the level where they feel full.
When you do get over full from food you get tired because all your blood is going to your guts to digest it and you’ll get so tired in your head that it’s hard to do anything and that’s why we take a nap after lunch, right?
It’s ok to do it once or twice but if you do it all the time you’re cheating on your own energy.
The third thing that I always talk about this is the sleep, and I guess sleep is not the big problem at this time of the year, in this part of the world, because when it’s dark outside it’s easier to sleep a lot.
So for that reason I don’t think I need to discuss a lot about sleep today from this perspective.
It’s good to remember that things work the same way at any time of the year and so it is the same in the holiday season as it is the rest of the time. Your body wants to have regularity. That goes for both physical activity, food and sleep. So if you do change your sleeping pattern a lot during the holiday season you have to redo the work to set it in the right mode afterwards.
You can make that decision for yourself depending on how much hard work you want afterwards – that’s how much you can cheat on yourself. For me in the long run and in the end it’s always about having good energy, to live a full life every day and not just sit there and be tired because I’ve done too much of things that I really don’t enjoy that much or enough to make me feel drained so to speak.
When it comes to work at this time of year now that we are heading rapidly towards the holiday season it’s important to remember that you only need to do what’s really important.
Take a look at what you have on your to do list and figure out what’s really important and put things that can be postponed on another list. I call this list my list “parking lot” for things to happen and to do later. By doing this you won’t forget it but you don’t have to do everything before Christmas or the new year if you don’t really have to do it because now it’s also time to take care of your loved ones, all your family and your friends and whoever else you care for.
With that I just want to wish you a very happy holiday season and a Happy New Year.
If you follow my blog you might have noticed that I haven’t posted for a while, and that’s because I’ve had a lot of things going on behind the scenes including this beautiful new website. I’m still adding to it but you’ll notice lots of changes and hopefully a more user friendly way for you to get to know me and find the information you need.
On top of the new website I have been away speaking at several events in America including the highlight for me, which was speaking at TEDx PSU Berks to a wonderful audience. I can’t wait to share with you all the video but we’ll have to wait until the new year for that. To be first to get the link to watch it on release, just follow me on Instagram or Facebook.
So here I am now finally settled back in Sweden after travelling so much and already we are very fast heading towards the Christmas and New Year’s holiday season.
For a lot of people that means a lot of extra work because everything has to be done before New Year for different reasons and of course you do want to be nice at the same time because this is a time for celebration for many people.
You have all these Pre-Christmas parties, well at least we do have those in Sweden, so it’s a very hectic time and you want to finish up all the things that are going on in the business before the new year.
Today I want to give you some tips that you can use to help you relax a little bit, maybe be more efficient and to give you more time to do the fun stuff that you want to do.
The first tip I want to give you is to trust your gut feeling. If you feel that things are a special way then try to stick to what your feeling is and don’t try to look too much into it and just do whatever you need to do.
Also, if you do get into trouble with something, come across a problem or something that’s hard to do just do them right away because it’s not going to be any easier if you keep procrastinating. The problem will probably grow bigger, you will have a harder time getting it done and it will be more complicated. So the best thing is actually to do things right away when they pop up especially the ones that are hard.
Another thing to think about when there is so much to do is that there is not time for perfection. You do it good enough and that will be good enough. Of course you don’t want to do a really lousy job but you do not have to have it perfect, especially when there is so much to do at this time of the year.
Don’t try to please everyone. There will always be people in your surrounding that don’t get what you say or want it their own way and they do not want to do whatever you want to do, but if you are the boss then you are the one to decide. I’m not talking about being harsh or rude or anything but you can’t please everyone. That has never really happened when you’re talking about working with groups of people.
Another thing that can be very helpful at this time of the year is to ask for help if you need any because people are usually very willing to help you and that is especially the way at this time of the year. Lots of people want to be nice and also it’s no shame to ask for help. No one can do everything but everyone can do something. So if you need help ask for it and then you say thank you afterwards and everything will be fine and they will thank you for trusting them to do the things.
The last tip or thought that I want to share with you today is to try not to lose yourself in the details but to try to see the whole picture. In a workplace it is so much easier if someone has that overview. I usually refer to overview as taking a helicopter ride above the situation where you can see all the different parts and when you do see them then you know which things need to get done first or maybe there are things that you don’t even need to do when you take a look at things this way. Maybe they have outdated themselves along the way and you end up just doing it because it’s on your list and then you do it in vain, so to speak.
These are a few little tips or thoughts that I want to give to you when we are so quickly heading towards the holiday season because I want you to have a great time. Try to ponder a little about the things that I talked about here and maybe you’ll find one or two little golden nuggets that you can bring into your own life to make it so much easier.
I think that’s all for today. Remember if you do need help with anything when it comes to stress management for yourself at work or in relation to your work team then feel free to connect. You can click the link below to connect and we’ll have a chat. Until next time.
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