‘Where does stress come from?” What a great question, isn’t it?
When we hear this question, we immediately think of the current causes of stress. But what about its HISTORY and SCIENCE?
“Wouldn’t it be fantastic if we could eliminate stress totally?“
“Oh, easy peasy. Just take a pill against stress hormones and the levels go down to zero. And we would live happily and calmly forever after.”
Well, if you still believe that way the I hate to break it up to you BUT…
IT DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY.
Our stress hormone system is part of life, of our normal biology, and with no stress hormones pumping around in your body –YOU ARE DEAD.
How is that… POSSIBLE?
THE STRESS THEORY
HANS SEYLE founded the stress theory in humans.
Seyle, who is a pioneer in stress research and nominated for the NOBEL PRIZE 17 times, borrowed the word “stress” from the technical world where it’s defined as “the amount of pressure any material can take before getting damaged”.
This has also been applied to our bodies, how much can our bodies take before they break? How much before our back breaks or our ankles get sprained?
When we’re talking about our bodies or our bones breaking, it all sounds normal but we haven’t until now started to talk about how much pressure our brains can take.
If it’s the brain we’re talking about, more or less it’s only “go home, sleep, and come back tomorrow”, or “rest a little and all will be fine” that we’ll get.
And in case you’re wondering, it’s probably because we can’t really see the amount of damage as we do with our limbs and back. We can’t see if it’s swollen or feel if it’s aching. There are no signs, it just suddenly happens.
And what we know – is that if it doesn’t function – it gets scary.
THE TRUTH
Truth is, stress-related brain dysfunction is NOT a mental illness but PART of NORMAL BIOLOGY.
Did you know that at the least, here in my country (Sweden), brain fog is still not as accepted as having limbing limbs?
But brain damage caused by stress today is more common than physical damage.
But how did we get this system, to begin with? Or, how did it all begin?
HISTORY OF STRESS
Let me start FROM THE BEGINNING.
Imagine yourself 200000ish years ago…
You live in a small cave, and then the savanna is spreading wide outside with all the beautiful wildlife... and you live together with a small group of other people.
You stay “indoors” and rest and sleep during the dark for 12 hours and are out working,hunting, seeking fruits, seeds and berries, when it is light for 12 hours.
In this case, you are just evolving as the modern human being from your older ancestors.
Then you are given 4 BASIC NEEDS – things you need to do TO SURVIVE in that environment.
SLEEP and REST to clear your brain and body and get rid of waste products.
EAT to get energy to your brain and body.
MOVE YOUR MUSCLES because you need them for the hunting and they are connected with your brain activity. It makes you think while you hunt – all to do the right thing in each moment – so YOU SURVIVE.
And PROCREATE– to make your RACE SURVIVE.
This is what you get and it is all regulated by your stress system set up AT THIS TIME.
THE BASIC SURVIVAL INSTINCTS
Because it’s basically survival back then, our ancestors had these 3 survival instincts:
1. Flight, or run as fast as you can away from the threat.
2. Fight, as hard as you can so you can eat, or lose then you become their food
3. Freeze, or fall down and play dead so the attacker loses interest
The ability to move around and think were the two most important tools that made the 3 instincts possible.
The system found the connection between moving and thinking to be important. Remember a time when you lose a thought and the thought came back the moment you moved? That’s what I’m talking about.
Your adrenal glands give adrenalineand noradrenaline for the acute system when we talk about life or death – eat or be eaten – fight or flight – or play dead.
And they produce cortisol for the long-term defense, the endurance.
This is it – and we can call it Version 1.0 of Human Biology.
And it was in a 1.0 surrounding on the savannah – a perfect match of systems – built in the balance!
HOW IT IS TODAY
“SO WHAT? What has this got to do with me and my stressed-out life lately?”
ALL AND EVERYTHING!
You are still – 200000ish years later, a 1.0 human being– functioning very primitively, like when your threats were wild animals and you were struggling to get food.
But now you live in a 5.0 or even 10.0 world.A 24/7 society with endless possibilities.
This is the challenge, what we have to overcome, overlap, or count into the equation on what to do now.
We need to tackle this in a totally different way.
“Food is given around the clock and you sit on your sofa as a potato and grow fat and stale. All the challenges you have at work need new solutions, and it is not okay to run away or smash your boss in the face when they ask you to do more work than you can handle – or fall to the floor and play dead for that matter.”
This is what we need to have in mind, this is why we feel this stressful time. And this is also why we tackle these challenges in such a clumsy way.
We function on reflex and want a solution NOW.But NOW does not always work in this world.
Still, we are swamped with quick fixes – “the market” has figured it all outsell stuff for immediate satisfaction – apps, gadgets, pills, alcohol, medication, drugs, and the like.
They might make us calm for a momentbut mostly they give us one more thing to keep track of.
What to do instead?
BACK TO BASICS
Look back to where we came from, how we are made to function, and adjust to that.
What is your most burning question about stress as a business leader?
You go to work every day. That is where you spend most of your awake time, especially if you are the boss. Shouldn’t that be feeling good, or even great most of the time?
Does it? Be honest with yourself.
Remember my last blog post, stating that 26% of the leadership felt uneasy about going to work, and over 40% in the tax paid systems workplaces.
Sad. Isn’t it? And scary.
Some years ago I asked a group of leaders: “What is your most burning question about stress?“
I got A LOT of interesting questions. And this one is not solvable in the easy way BUT it certainly needs to be addressed:
The question that I got was: “What can I do when the stress is not caused by me but by someone else who puts me in that situation?”
Honestly, it’s not very uncommon. We hear people most of the time complaining about something they didn’t even cause.
“I can’t control my situation! It’s absolutely unmanageable! My boss puts all the problems on my shoulders! My employees don’t do what they are supposed to! I always end up doing everything! My spouse has unrealistic expectations, and someone else always puts me in an overload!”
“I feel like a victim. The overload is killing me.”
Sounds familiar?
Okay, don’t get me wrong. Those situations are definitely normal. There is no quick fix or a one-for-all kind of solution as there will always be different solutions for everyone.
BUT what I can see, is the SAME PATTERN in all of them. You feel the threat from someone else’s problems – one way or another.
One step to clarity is to write about it. Laying it all down is a very good way to get clear on things, and you need it to know why things happen over and over again.
It is not about blaming yourself or someone else, but it is about the fact of what is. Put down all the pluses and minuses you find, and then organize them into themes. Ponder and rearrange if needed.
Depending on what pops up, the next step will be different for each and one of you.
It could be to talk to the person you find “dumping” their world on you. That could be your boss, your colleagues, your spouse, or whoever it was who did not see the pattern.
On the other hand, you might need to take drastic actions such as leaving your job or your spouse. Because you can not change them, you can only change yourself. If things end up in much more drastic actions, it might be good to ask for help.
The next question is completely different: “Is stress aging me? I feel like I aged 10 years last year! I feel tired like an old man/woman and I am still just in my thirties.”
The short answer is – YEP.
The longer version is yes, probably – if you are stressed for a long time. Short moments of stress are part of natural life. In fact, no one can claim they are never stressed, or they are lying.
Consequently, long-term stress will affect your immune system and cause many diseases, including bad skin, making you look older!
Also, it puts you at risk to get cardiovascular disease, stroke, hypertension, obesity to name a few. And not to mention, depression.
The #1 solution to this question is:Take breaks, lots of short breaks every day, or a long break in a month. Let your brain rest and your body relax and you will keep your stress hormone levels on a normal, healthy level – then you can function smoothly again. And you will get just as much done since you will do it right the first time.
The last question I want to share today is connected with the previous question: “Can I recover from long-term stress and regain my health?”
The answer to this is also YES.
Yes, you can recover and of course, it depends on how long it has been going on and if you have developed any irreversible damage. BUT IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS – you can REGAIN YOUR HEALTH and you can at least stop the progress of the chronic disease.
People who feel gratitude are helpful in handling stress are faster to recuperate from disease. They often have better health – like normal blood pressure and good immune response, and they feel happier!
I guess that you too, as a business leader, would love to have all that.
And that means that “Gratitude” is a very good leadership tool too. If feeling gratitude makes you feel well and less stressed – why not take advantage of this fact?
A great idea would be to start a gratitude challenge in your workgroup.
You as the leader, the boss must go first – in the front line. That is where the worriers need to be.
This is double important now in Coronavirus attack time. After many weeks of restrictions your staff has probably been struggling with either:
a) working from home and feeling lonely, not seen and not appreciated; or
b) coming to the workplace with the fear of being infected and trying to hide as much as possible.
Neither of those scenarios makes your staff grow and perform at their best level. I am not saying they do not do a good job but it is not at top-notch.
This “Gratitude Challenge” will BOOST THEIR ENERGY – AND YOURS as a leader.
Challenge them and yourself to do something everyday that leans towards GRATITUDE – and share with each other. It is a win-win in eternity.
Here are a few things you can do:
Send a short Gratitude message to a coworker.
Make a physical “Wall of Gratitude” in the office; or make one online – where everyone can contribute. Set the rules to “just for positive cheering, no complaints here”.
Write DAILY the 3 things you are grateful for, ESPECIALLY during times of hardship.
Write a positive testimonial to a valuable deliverer or business partner.
Send a real postcard to someone you are grateful for. Put a real stamp on it and send it.
Donate to a charity you like. The need in the world is so immense right now, and helping is one of the best ways to increase your own wellbeing.
Ponder about your leadership – is there anything you can do differently that can benefit someone else at the same time?
Send flowers or maybe a lunch to someone in your staff that you know suffers extra right now.
These are a few actions you can take to BOOST your own wellbeing. I am sure you can think of many other good ways too.
Doing good and being kind to others produces feel-good hormones in your brain. That makes you feel better.
On the other hand, the person at the other end of your gift feels seen and appreciated – producing feel-good hormones in their brains too.
If both YOU and your STAFF get FEEL-GOOD HORMONES – YOU WILL TOGETHER PRODUCE BETTER RESULTS for your clients – making them happy and ordering more from you which increases your revenue.
This makes the gratitude way of doing things one of the most effective business and leadership tools we have – and a beautiful way to LESS STRESS too.
Also, making it a challenge for your staff will make their well-being boosted too that can cause RIPPLE EFFECTS all over the place.
What are you waiting for? Just start right now with a big smile and a nice word to the person next to you!
Feels good, doesn’t it?
If you want personal help to get started – send a message here to connect
This upcoming week I will travel through half of Sweden to a far away place and work in a health care center for 7 days.
Why do I take valuable time from my business to do that? There are several reasons.
First of all to help out. There is always a lack of doctors in Primary Care in Sweden. In this Corona virus era the lack is even bigger.
Because you are not allowed to work if you have any symptoms. Because a lot of the doctors are of high age and more at risk. Because some primary care doctors go to work in other facilities in internal medicine to help out there. Plus, some doctors are scared and don’t dare to work with patients right now, just like many others.
I am not scared, I am not in a risk group and I have the ability to use some of my time on this. This is my first reason.
Second, I want to stay updated. If I am going to do a good job as a mentor for stressed out business leaders I need to be up to date in my knowledge.
What does the world look like today?
What does science say?
What do people seek help for?
Are there any new big findings?
These are questions I get updated on when going out in real life and work.
And third, of course it gives some money to my company so I can keep working on developing my de-stress business. It also makes it possible for me to contribute to good causes, like being interviewed for both the EvolveUp for PeaceWeekend two weeks ago and for the Suicide Prevention Show taking place last week.
Both of those interviews were deep discussions about serious stuff. But nevertheless, it was fun discussions with lots of smiles and laughter. You see, smiles and laughter help our brain to produce feel good hormones. That helps us to feel calm and focused and the discussion leads towards solutions instead of towards anxiety.
You could say that a smile is one of the most important and powerful tools for stress management!
The video for the other interview is not up yet. I will share it as soon as I get it.
Do you to go off your trail in your current life to expand, help out, learn more or just to get away for a week or two? Whether you do or not write your thoughts on a piece of paper and ponder about it. What could you try out? Is there a place I can go to get new ideas and be updated? Write pros and cons and maybe you will come up with your next big thing in life! And put a smile to your thoughts! What is your next step?
I have been in business for about 10 years now. Working with Stress Management – taste those words!
It has been a roller coaster including a co-op that went into bankruptcy in the early days. Incredibly stressful experience!
It has been far from a calm journey as you can see, and I have tested my own de-stress tips over and over. And they work!
Before this business era I was working as a doctor in the Swedish primary health care system. That was not a business school. In Sweden health care is paid by the tax system and as a doctor you don’t chase clients/patients, you don’t deal with the payment system – you just do the job and get your pay-check. And you never talk about yourself, you just do your best helping the patient.
About 10 years ago everything just got a little bit too much. Stressful is a good word for what happened!
Endless amount of work, family, household, other people’s expectations – never time to reflect – I am sure you can relate!
But instead of walking straight into the famous wall of burnout, I took a step back, to see what my options were.
I believe this is a step we take way too seldom – the step back to look at the whole picture.
I realized I needed to change something – so I took a turn. I joined a course in stress management – to help myself – and realized – this is what I was aimed for: To help people avoid becoming patients, health promotion and stress management.
Again and again I have seen the need to take that step back, to get a clearer view of what is going on. When you are in the middle of it is hard to see the forest for all trees, you need to get out first to get the overview picture.
I think the forest is a great analogy of what I mean but I have taken it yet another bit further – I call it taking a virtual helicopter ride over your situation. It is good to get that far up to see the whole picture.
When clients come to me to discuss their situation and find solutions they often say: “My friend/colleague had the same problem and they did “this or that” and it solved all their problems. Can you help me do the same thing?”
And my answer is always: I can help you solve the same problem, if that is what you need, but it will probably not be in the same way.
You see, there are not any one-size-fits-all solutions in stress management. Even if the problems or challenges look alike every person has their own setting in life. The variations in circumstances are endless.
That is where the virtual Helicopter ride comes in. We look at everything from work, family, free time, health, network, where you live, status and more.
Up till today I have not had many clients solving their challenges in the same way they thought they would. Often the overview showed them other issues that were more important and maybe even easier to change first.
Are you ready to take a virtual helicopter trip over your life situation with me as your guide? And then make the changes you need?
The Corona virus has changed the world, in many ways, almost all ways.
Before there were unemployed people, yes, and I am sure most of them were unhappy about that. Most of them did what they could to try to find a job.
Then along comes this virus and practically the whole world shuts down, in no time. Travel, tourism, business meetings, free time activities, speaking engagement, counseling – everything shuts down in a moment. Some activities can go on online but so many businesses just closed – leaving a growing crowd of unemployed people.
We are talking about massive amounts of people, millions around the globe.
Being involuntary unemployed is an incredibly stressful situation. How will I get money for the rent, for food, for my children?
Being involuntary unemployed is also degrading on your self-esteem. You feel less worth and your negative thought take over and you start getting anxiety, get depressed.
I can’t help you get a new job but I can give you 5 Tips to work with and ponder about when you are in this tough situation.
1.You are valuable:
Remind yourself that your identity is built on who you are, not on what you do. It is about your personality, your strengths, talents, and values. They are still there even if you are out of work. Maybe you can use another word than unemployed? You can say you are between two challenges, or between jobs. Find something that feels right for you. Keep your head high whatever you call it. You are still as valuable as before.
2.Take responsibility:
It is okay to have a bad day but do what you can to avoid getting stuck in the victim role. Maybe you think it someone else’s fault you are in this situation, and probably it is not really your fault. BUT the more responsibility you take for your own situation, whoever or whatever to blame, the more constructive solutions you will come up with. Get a small notebook where you note all small steps forward you do in your search for a new job and note all the personal good experiences you make. Take a break from the job hunt when you get tired. Do something that gives you energy for a short while. To look for a new job is equivalent to doing a job, so it is alright with those breaks, no need to feel bad about it. Physical activity, like brisk walks, is something that will generate energy for you and can be used particularly when it feels at its hardest.
3.What is your focus:
Reflect on who you are, what you want and what kind of job you are looking for. I know you cannot be very selective now when so many compete for the same jobs. But if you have a choice, go for jobs you want. Also try new ways to look for a job. Maybe test a new platform you find on a google search. Dare to fail and try not to take a No personal, it probably is not, there are just too many folks searching. Also dare to ask for feedback from the people interviewing you. That can help you tweak something you do or say.
4.Find role models:
Who do you know that managed their unemployment and search for a new job in a good way? How did they do? What did they do? Mimic their recipe and take what feels right for you. Be inspired. Try to meet people in networks, maybe you need to find them online right now. Ask what others do, take support. You are not less than anyone else you are maybe just in different phases.
5.Get a mentor:
This is not always so easy to tackle by yourself. It can be good to find some form of sounding board who can help you see more constructively on your talents and who can keep you going in the right direction and not lose track. Find a career coach, a mentor, advisor, trainer who can ask these questions. Maybe there is a worker/union organization near you that can help. Investing in this in both time and money can pay off a lot in the long run. Maybe you end up in taking up on an education for a new track.
Take some time and reflect on my tips. I know they can be hard to follow because of the Corona situation. But the point here is that YOU must handle and care for this situation. The more you take responsibility, engage and learn and do, the better prepared will your brain be. You will start seeing things that were not going to show up if you carry the victim’s glasses on giving a narrowed view of the situation.
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