Is it
business as usual for you right now? I would think not.
A little
virus is holding us, the whole world, hostage, and everything has turned upside
down. I do not know about you, but I
have felt more uncertainty then in a long time before. It is stressful!
I want to address
that uncertainty, what is uncertain and what is actually as it always has been?
The Corona
virus is new to us humans. That means we didn’t know initially how it was going
to affect us. Now 4 months later we still don’t have all the answers but we
have a clue on what to expect.
What I see
as a doctor is that the uncertainty that we have is just as hard to tackle as
the virus. Our brain wants to have certainty, otherwise it makes up stories, some
good and some far from the truth. We also always make decisions from emotions,
not by logic and then we find a reason to back up on our choice. This all leads
to a lot of believing and not so much facts. It makes it a must to check
the facts you can check. And that leads us to the question of what to
do to tackle this new situation. What habits do we need to change?
What habits do we be extra aware of in this time of being locked up in in the Corona Quarantine?
I’d say the routines around your energy generating system – sleep, eat and exercise. They are the habits that can make you cope in the long run.
You stay
home, maybe just do shorter rounds for shopping. You work from home, which means
you move around less than usual. Maybe you are not allowed to go to the gym. You
become a coach potato.
You eat
just as much as usual even though you don’t move as much. And you treat
yourself with things with sugar and fat in it – because that is what our
ancient brain wants. “Poor me, I just need a little bit more of that delicious
treat” – it says.
And since
you just sit all day long and you eat too much your sleep is affected. You sit
and watch TV until late and you have a hard time falling asleep when you
finally hit bed. And then you wake up at 3am and feel the anxiety creeping in
your head and all your problems grow big. When you finally fall asleep you
sleep longer in the morning and your next day is wrecked.
Taking care
of those 3 habits is the best stress reducing action you can take to stay sound
and healthy in this lockdown time. A healthy body and a healthy brain is a unit.
It all affects each other.
What the brain and body want is regularity. That system was made 200,000 years ago, and we are still stuck with the same physical and mental systems.
Regular sleep
– 7-8 hours per night, every night and same time every night. Because the brain
does not know what we call the different days. The brain needs the same every
night.
Regular food
– 3 main meals a day at regular hours – same all days. Good healthy food with
nutrients and vitamins. Beware of the portion size too.
Regular exercise – 30 minutes brisk walk daily as a base. If you cannot get that in this
lockdown you can work out other ways to get it, right? Maybe you have stairs at
home. Use them, walk up and down for 30 minutes or do an exercise video online –
be creative.
Getting
these 3 areas right will make you feel more energized and you will be less prone
to be depressed.
Making this
work good for you now in the lockdown is good news for your health and then keeping
these new good habits when we are free again will make you the long term winner
you deserve to be.
Remember:
we get what we focus on so it better be something positive to make your life
good.
It’s just under a week since I got back from TEDx San Juan Island, where I gave my second TEDx talk. The theme of the event was “Origins” which was a great subject to work with when it comes to stress because as humans stress is our primal reaction to danger from both a physical and mental perspective.
I can’t wait to share the video of the talk I gave which was called “The Key To Staying Calm In A Stressed Out World”, but until that becomes available I wanted to share my journey and experiences of TEDx San Juan Island.
Giving a TEDx talk is a pretty major thing for anyone and for me it was no exception. It’s an incredible platform to influence and spread your message both at the event and then digitally afterwards. For me, I got to influence leaders of the future at the event and I will be able to share the video of my talk to my online audience of business leaders and corporate executives for years to come.
But, with all of these positives comes the equal pressure to create/write the perfect talk, perform it on stage (in English) and deliver my message to thousands if not hundreds of thousands of audience members and online viewers.
Even though this was my second TEDx talk and I thought maybe it would be an easier process this time, I was definitely challenged to create an even more valuable talk. The hands on approach of the team was welcomed as they guided me to bring out my message and tweak it to fall in line with their vision for the event.
I’ll admit that sometimes it was overwhelming and sometimes I could feel the stress creeping in as I prepared the talk, and then got down to the business of learning it and rehearsing/“performing” it.
Remember, I’m Swedish and although I speak fluent english it’s can still be daunting to stand up and give a talk from memory in a different language.
So, what did I do to overcome the stress creeping in?
First I went back to basics and made sure to take care of myself by keeping to my daily routines of gently exercising, sleeping well and eating at regular times.
Your daily routines are the foundations of your health and help you in managing your stress and getting through your day calmly.
Secondly, I prepared and organised myself to make sure I had enough time to put the work into the project.
One of the major triggers of stress is being unprepared and disorganised, and although we can “wing” some things in our lives and in the workplace, being prepared keeps things calm and on track. Plus, it gives you the extra time to deal with the things that will go wrong or change on the way.
Thirdly, I reached out for help from experts.
Reaching out for help is a big sign of strength (not weakness like most people think). We’re not supposed to be experts at everything and it’s ok to say. “Ok, I need some help with this to get it right!” In fact you’re more likely to be successful if you work with others towards your goals.
Leaders just like you will be faced with events and projects that will feel daunting and you could instantly feel a wave of stress rushing over you, or you can remember that there is a process that can help you achieve the goal of the event or project successfully and more importantly….Calmly!
It’s so important that we enjoy the journey towards our goals and we miss out on that if we are stressed out!
In summary:
When you’re faced with a daunting task, check in on yourself and remember to:
Eat energizing, healthy foods regularly. Sleep regular hours every night to rest your body and mind. Exercise your body to boost your energy and clear your mind.
Be prepared and organised. Take some time out before you start to map out everything that needs to be done and by when, giving yourself a little extra time for unexpected things.
Reach out for help. Find the people who are good at the things you’re struggling with. Let them help and guide you so that you learn from them and overcome the obstacles without wasting time trying to work it all out yourself.
If this has helped you in any way, please share your journey or questions in the comments below, and if you feel like you need a bit of extra help you can download my e-book,Leadership With Less Stress, below to set you up with the foundations of stress management.
To your success!
P.s. I’m hoping to get the TEDx San Juan Island talk back on video in the next month but until then (and in case you missed it) here is my talk from Tedx PSU Berks.
Today I want to talk about a client I had a couple of years ago. It was three years ago that I met with this young lady called Ingrid.
She was only 33 years old and at home she had three younger kids. She was the middle manager of a work group of around 20 people.
Her life was crazy! There was so much to do and she was really trapped in the hamster wheel.
She reached out to me and we set up a mentor program for a three month meeting every second week over Zoom. Each time we had an hour together and she came every time to the meetings and she was really searching for help, telling her story, telling what she needed and had all these ideas of what and how she could do other things and what she would do until the next meeting and the next meeting came and she had never done anything. She had done, nothing. And the same thing over and over and over again.
She was so enthusiastic every time, and each time I thought now it’s going to happen. But nothing happened. And then after three months she just said goodbye and I don’t have time for this so I’m not going to take your time because I can’t do it.
I felt so bad because I could see she really needed it and I did feel that she did understand that she needed it. If she had just made that decision deep down in her mind to do it. I did try to connect with her again but she didn’t answer my calls or my emails and I felt so bad because I’d really wanted to help her and she needed the help badly.
I know that some people are not coachable but she didn’t seem like that kind of person. Anyway, time went by and about a year ago I met her again after network meeting and then she came over to me cheerful and joyful and smiling and she said:
“Oh, it’s so nice to meet you again Dr Annika, I want to tell you what happened after we worked together. You know I was so ashamed that I didn’t do what you told me to do or what I said I would do.” she said “I was so ashamed and when we didn’t have those discussions anymore I felt so lonely because I had really appreciated our calls, even though I didn’t do anything about it.”
“But not having you there actually made me realize that I had to do the work myself. It hadn’t gone all the way up in my mind that it was my responsibility to do all the things that we had been talking about and I had known it all the time but I hadn’t really taken it into my heart that that’s what was going on.”.
“So after we stopped talking and calling during the mentorship I did take the program again I did take all the worksheets that we had all the all the things I went through it again and again and again and slowly I figured this is what I need to do and this is how I can do it because you gave me all the tools I just didn’t take them, and then I didn’t take them by myself. I wish I had had the courage to call you again and and get your help once again. But I was too proud.” She said. “I couldn’t do that. I was way too proud. I didn’t really want to do that so I did it on my own.”.
And today the work this is going well and I’m at the same place. My family’s thriving, kids are good. They’re growing and things are good. I say I have a good life today and I thank you so much for all the help you did give me even though you didn’t see that at the time. Today I would say to everyone that you need to have a Dr Annika by your side to help you through the hardship because it’s worth so much to have someone to help you see what you really need and to give you the tools for it”.
So WOW! That was for me, really nice to hear. That meant that she was not uncoachable. She was coachable but she was a little bit slower in taking action and I was so happy to see her in this good state and for her kind words.
It is easier to make changes when you have someone holding your hand or being by your side and today I still help stressed out CEOs, executives and managers who are afraid to lose control of the stress, who are afraid of decreasing profits, afraid to lose their confidence and who may even be getting ill from the stress, because stress is not good for your mind or for your body.
I help them to reflect and to ponder about what they need to make a halt in life so that they can make the changes and then when they have identified their what they need to do to leave the hamster wheel so that they can be the big healthy, happy leader that they want to be.
If that is you then please feel free to click the link below and get a free Strategy Session session for about half an hour where we can see what your needs are and see what you have to do to get out of the hamster wheel. It’s all free so click the link below. Thank you.
Hi, Dr. Anika Sorensen here from the blog Ask Dr. Annika where we help stressed out business leaders to become the calm, healthy, good working leaders they always dreamed to be.
Today I want to talk about a client that I had two years ago because I had a reconnection with him the other week. My client is a man called Lars who is 47 years old and working in a middle manager position with 25 people in his work group. He thinks that is a little bit too much.
I met him two years ago when he asked me to help him and it was more or less a coincidence that we did meet in the beginning but I soon realized that he was on the verge of burnout. He was really going to suffer a health collapse soon if he didn’t do anything about his situation. So, I asked him if he wanted to do something about it and he sure did.
He had never told anyone else about this so, on the outside you couldn’t really see that he wasn’t feeling that well especially if you don’t know what to look for. He hadn’t even told his wife how bad it was. Even though, I guess she, from what I understood from him she did see but they didn’t really put that out in the open in the family.
So I asked him what was the deal, what was the thing that helped you? Why are you such a happy business leader today and your group is working so fine?
What happened? Why? What was the biggest reason? And he said:
“Well the first thing was that you asked me how I was, and for the first time ever I told somebody and it was good that it was somebody outside my own personal circle. I told somebody how it really was and after I had done that it was like a stone fell off my heart. I didn’t realize that I had been carrying this great burden for such a long time and it was such a big release when I had it out in the open, when I could hear my own words and when I could hear myself talk about it.”
“The next thing you did was you asked me where are you heading? I had never thought about that. Really, well, probably I have thought about it before but that was not the issue at that time. My only concern was how do I get away from all the things that I didn’t want to deal with. So I was heading away from things not towards anything. You made me realize that you have to work towards something and then the things that you don’t want, they will eventually cease because you don’t put your focus on it. You get what you focus on. So that was a really big change in my work with the work group. It was a real eye opener.”
“And then when we were on track I was a bit hesitant, I must admit, about saying what I was heading towards because you asked me to make a one year leap or a one year goal and I couldn’t really see that far.” He said.
We discussed and I said “You have to see where you’re going towards and what direction you’re going but you don’t have to see the end goal at first. You can take one step at a time and it will come clear.”
The next thing he said was; “you forced me to take care of my sleep, of my food and of my physical activity so that I would get some energy, and you were so right that the way to get the energy is that you have to take care of yourself. After a while I felt so much better!”
“Next I started to make some changes within my work group.” and he said “I especially remember one thing because you asked me what I think about all the people in my network and there was this guy in my work group who was really good at what he was doing but he was not my kind of person and I sometimes had a hard time with that, especially when I didn’t feel well myself. You helped me to see that and learn how to tackle that too. How to keep him doing all the good stuff that he does and at the same time I could be around him without really just worrying all the time, which helped me a lot. We did a lot more changes to many different things.”.
“I also made some changes in my personal life, and I still have my family.”.
So now two years later he was happy. Things were going fine with work and he was still in the same position. They have increased their profitability in his group to double and it is a happy group and he loves his work.
Like I said he still had his family and the family life was also so much better now two years later.
It was it was for me very nice to catch up with him. It’s nice to see that the things, the little things that you do with your life that they can make such a big difference.
If you want help with your situation or you know somebody else who needs help with this situation then feel free to reach out. Just click the link below and we can connect and see if there is anything I could do for you too.
I’m so happy to be able to finally share the video of my Tedx PSU Berks talk from last November. It really was such an honour to be up there on stage in the company of all the other great speakers.
At this event I talked about harnessing our own power to overcome the stresses that we all suffer each and every day. As leaders in business we have to juggle so many different things and we are often trying to troubleshoot so many problems that it can be overwhelming. Adding to that trying to maintain and happy home life and social life then it’s no wonder that we can be left feeling exhausted mentally and physically.
The problem that most don’t realise is that it doesn’t matter how strong we think we are and it doesn’t matter how much we think we can cope with it all because stress is stronger and will eventually make us sick physically, and for sure, not be able to be at our best mentally.
That’s why stress management is so important for the leaders of today, for your workforce and just about everyone. It doesn’t matter if you’re a woman or a man and it doesn’t matter if you’re running a small business alone or the head of an international company because stress doesn’t discriminate.
We can’t run away from stress either or think we can get rid of it because we need it!
We just need to manage it so that we can work at our best at all times and live a happier and more relaxed life.
After suffering the effects of stress myself and seeing many patients become sicker and sicker through stress in my time as a medical doctor, I have made it my passion to help and educate leaders in the business world and beyond to help people lead a better life and become more successful in their work.
If you have a chance to support a Tedx event in your own town, I really do urge you to go. Not just to support the people who work so hard to put it together but to absorb the great knowledge and experience.
Here are a few pictures from the event….
This is not the end of my Tedx journey as I will be speaking at the TedxSanJuanIsland in June 2019 and I will update you of the schedule as soon as it’s released.
If you enjoyed this talk and think that this is something that could help you personally and/or in your workplace then please get in touch via the contact form or click here to book a free call with me.
Today I want to tell you about the story I heard at the business breakfast meeting that I was attending this morning. The story comes from a lady who works in media and she told us about a company that she had been visiting or working with before.
We were talking about leadership and stress and what happens when you get too stressed out then and all the things that surround that. That was today’s theme.
She told us about this company that she was working with and it was a rather big company and in one of the departments where she was hired to do some media work she soon realized that through the guy who was her “helper” so to speak that nobody in that work group were happy, they were stressed out. They felt bad and everyone said “it’s the boss!”, because they had this lady boss and she was always screaming, yelling and demanding things and whatever they did was never enough, as seen from her point of view. That’s what they thought at least.
People were starting to go on sick leave because they didn’t feel well and there were even some of them were saying things like:
“I need to go and get another job. I can’t stand this anymore. I don’t want to be in this mess. She is not a good boss and I do not want to work with that kind of people.”
That’s how everyone was talking and the mood in the group was just getting lower and lower and the more they complained or didn’t do exactly what they were supposed to do this lady screamed even louder.
So one day the guy who hired the lady from my business group went higher up the management ladder to try and figure out a way to resolve the situation. He spoke to the manager of the team leader that was causing the problems and explained the situation. He said if you don’t do anything right now then this work group is finished. It’s just not gonna work anymore. People are going to leave or get sick from the stress of it all so you have to do something.
They booked a meeting where the screaming boss and her boss was there plus a few from the work group and they put all the cards on the table.
“This is how we feel.”
“This is what’s going on.”
“We don’t want this anymore.”
“What do you have to say?”
She started crying. She cried and cried and then she said:.
“I had no idea I was doing this to you. I didn’t realize.”.
When they talked for a while everyone saw that it was actually her that was so stressed out that she could not think and she was just going on autopilot.
When you are that stressed out your brain doesn’t work, you do things that you don’t want to do and it’s so hard to see it yourself. People in her workgroup had seen things with her getting worse and worse but but they haven’t dared to say anything to her. The longer the time was going on the worse it got and it was getting harder and harder to actually do something.
She did not want it to be this way. When she was acting out like she was she was crying for help. Her own management team organized things in a good way so that everyone was happy. She’s still in the position and that they are doing a good job helping her and her work team by putting together structures so that it won’t happen again.
And they opened up they opened up the way of being in the group, the tolerance, the transparency and the trust within the group. If you want to be a good leader you need to give the group these things so that they feel trusted they have to feel that they they are believed in and I think this story teaches us a lot of what you need to be leader.
If you need help or if you are stressed out you do have to go and get help or hopefully someone in your nearby will see what’s going on and they will give you help and you have to take care of yourself and you know what I talk about when I talk about taking care of yourself it all starts with looking at your sleep seeing that you’re eating properly and that you exercise so that you get the energy to actually take care of yourself. And then you have to work with the structures and all that that’s surrounding you.
If you need help with this feel free to reach out and we’ll find a solution on how to help you. Know someone who might find this helpful? Feel free to share this blog with them.
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