Self-care. What really is it and how do you make sure you’re already doing it right? Or when you’re having a hard time, how do you even start?? Are you even getting the results that you want?
ACTION, ACTION, & ACTION
When you start to feel low, it’s natural that your mind wanders a lot and gets into a lot of thinking.
But you must watch out, as that can easily escalate to overthinking – and you’ll immediately spiral down to a negative look, without you even realizing.
So how do you really care for yourself through action?
Instead of thinking when feeling low, START DOING – as the best-underrated antidote to overthinking is… “ACTING”.
When you act, even if that is the bare minimum you’re giving, that’s one step ahead! One clutter cleaned and one step closer to clarity.
TAKE A LOOK AROUND
Everyone almost always tells you to “control your emotions”, without considering that it’s not always easy to do that naturally.
It takes awareness of one’s emotions and lots of practice.
Can someone really even take hold or get a good control of their emotions, when they’re not even aware of the way they’re acting?
Control requires awareness. Without being aware of something, the power to change it is close to none.
So, take a look around. How do people react? Does it seem off? Do they do the same way? What ticks them off, what do they like? Pay close attention to those and you can start living mindfully.
HOW DOES ONE ACT WHEN FEELING LOW?
When we feel low, it’s natural we don’t feel like doing anything or we feel really unproductive. What do we do?
ONE STEP AT A TIME.
Are you set to take the act? Are your tools ready? Say for work, you feel low so you don’t feel like working. But does the look of your work desk help? Is it full of clutter? A clean surrounding helps boost productivity too.
UTILIZING WILLPOWER
The best way to utilize oneself’s willpower is to “JUST TAKE THE FIRST STEP”. When you take the first step, you’ll be one step ahead and you’ll see where you were, and where you are after taking that first step.
With the first step, you’ll boost more of your willpower when your brain sees that YOU HAVE PROGRESS.
So really, yes, save your energy and refrain from being a victim of overthinking, and just start TAKING THAT FIRST STEP.
HOW OVERTHINKING BEGINS
Some won’t really be able to stop overthinking, because they don’t see how it begins – so let me walk you through its process.
You saw something in front of you, it was enough to get your attention. And then you saw a dot behind it, and one more further – they all seem related, so you connect the dots.
That’s the present, being connected to the past, and the future. And then more dots come in, so you draw more possibilities in your mind until ideas just keep on coming.
You get excited as more ideas come until your brain gets tired and couldn’t give you more ideas, and you try so hard to think more – you start to get tired, which leads you to more overthinking:
“Where did it go wrong, am I still thinking this right?”, and such.
HOW TO AVOID FATIGUE FROM THOSE IDEAS
You start with the PROCESS. Do not overthink things, when you already have something good, START THE PROCESS.
Or else you’ll lose all your energy into thinking and have no energy left for the real deal – ACTION.
ACTION, that leads to RESULTS.
IF YOU WANT RESULTS, FOCUS ON THE ACTION
Always remember, overthinking could kill your productivity – but you have the power to turn the tables and instead kill your overthinking through productivity.
Plan -> Execute -> Results NOT Plan -> plan more -> plan more….
GET HELP IF YOU NEED
If it feels hard to decide what you want to do on your own – get a mentor. Reach out if you need help. It is always important and there will always be things that you can support.
Check HERE to see if you feel like we’re a good fit.
Money talks are not uncommon, but sometimes, we just don’t go deep enough, or at least can’t.
Do you feel like you’ve got control of your money?
If you do then you’re part of the small percentage of people who do. Most people don’t have any control, or any idea what comes in, or goes out.
Most people stick their heads in the sand when it comes to money, and it seems to drift from one place to another with no control.
Most people feel ashamed about their money situation and never talk about it. I’ve seen this with so many of the clients I work with and I’d love to tell you a short story today about one of my clients – Mary-Anne.
MARY ANNE’S STORY
Not so long ago, we were talking about money. She was really interested in the subject because she was a manager at a large company.
She had the responsibility of managing huge chunks of money coming in and out of the business which was no problem for her at all. In fact, she was very good at her job!
She was not in the accountant department but she had this control! Amazing, right?
Good at math with a structured mind, to her the numbers are just numbers – no matter how big. She seldom failed with the reports and she was a well-respected employee but had a fear that someone would find out what she really didn’t understand, and think she was a fake when it comes to money.
HER REALITY
Since the numbers are so big in business, to her it was such large numbers – not money or economy – but just figures that she mastered to handle.
But she had no clue when it came to looking after her own money…
In fact, her husband had more control over their private financial situation compared to her. So she came to me feeling so ashamed that she didn’t have control of her own money at home.
She had had a shortage in her bank account and she did not know why. And she had got a warning on her credit card that she had reached the limit for the month. Her husband had helped but said that it’s just going to be temporary so nothing to worry about.
When things get tough, we deny it, so it’s very common for us to say it is temporary. Many people take short-term loans to cover up – and then another loan and then another….until you know what happens next.
It is so easy today to get a quick loan – and if you keep your head there – stuck in the sand – things can get really nasty.
MONEY + DREAMS
Or… nightmares?
Mary-Anne wanted to figure out her money situation because money started to pop up in her dreams – and they became nightmares – and she longed for help so she could sleep well at night.
She’d spent countless hours searching and found online courses and programs that told her what to do.
She began creating a detailed chart to track her money which was helpful. It was working. But the problem was she never really got to the bottom of her problem with money – she did not know what to do with the chart – it looked right but about what???
THE FIRST VISIT
On the first visit to speak with Mary-Anne, we figured out that the number one priority was to create a cash flow chart to see the money that comes in vs. the money that goes out.
We worked on this for 30 days – noting every penny going in either direction – and when we had a result her reaction was ‘WOW!’
‘Everything’s coming in and going out just as fast, what are we spending our money on?’
Both Mary-Ann and her husband had good jobs and 2 kids who had left the nest so they were in a good position.
THE PLAN
After coming to the conclusion of a quick turnaround of the money in her pocket, her next task was to create an annual budget for the next 12 months.
But before she did that she had to look deeper at where she spent her money – or rather where they spent their money?
Writing it all down – in needed and not needed.
REMEMBER, IT ALL ADDS UP…
You see, most people who have enough money don’t reflect – I can afford this – and that – and this – and that – not taking into account that it all adds up.
So now, she has her cash flow chart in control, and has an annual budget for the next 12 months – a task she had never done before, and never thought that she’d ever need to.
“What can I plan, what do I have control over, what things are necessary – and what do they cost?”
THE FINALE
When she was satisfied with the annual budget we created together, the final part was to look at her income.
During our session, we dug deep to find out where her main source of money was coming from. Most of it came as her salary but there were a couple of capital minor streams that she really never understood.
Mary-Anne worked hard on this. In fact, she even got her husband to do precisely the same with his income and expenses.
It’s critical that you work out your income and expenses with those whom you are responsible for. Or responsible with.
Because… Only once you’ve got all this under control can you begin to change.
MONEY MANAGEMENT
If you want to change & improve your money situation, you must evaluate where you’re at right now.
Managing your money is much like a car navigation system….
You must know where you’re at FIRST before you put in your destination.
It’s also a great idea to ask someone for help and guidance. Sometimes, it’s best to get an outside view from somebody else. They might see things that you’re missing.
And it’s also where most people who are struggling are going wrong… They always seem to forget professional help.
ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER
You’re much more likely to achieve your goals and improve your money situation if you’ve got somebody by your side who can keep you accountable. Try not to bat an eye when your partner tells you something about handling money, and also if you know something that could help them, do it too.
OUR INSTINCT IN HANDLING MONEY
Unless we are properly informed, have a financial manager, or have attended financial classes… We inherit most of our behavior patterns from our parents in our young years. What is told about money when we are young becomes our internal belief about money, and we also tend to believe what we see, so whatever we see in them when it comes to handling money, we tend to follow as well.
Fact is, if our parents always talked in terms of scarcity – we would act in terms of scarcity.
Money can become a burden – what will people think? And we make foolish decisions and money just glides through your fingers, or just all gone in one snap – that fast.
Rich people can also become very greedy, and all this crazy behavior around money is because the subject holds all these feelings and is rooted from young years.
And still – money is just paper and some metal – or a number in the bank account.
ABOUT MYSELF
I am not a money coach or mentor – I work with stress – and money pops up often as the underlying cause of stress. What worked for Mary Anne might not work for you, as every solution is on a case-to-case basis and no one-size solution fits all.
ABOUT YOU
You’d want to avoid the situations mentioned above, or problems involving money, especially at work, and the stress that it causes.
If you’d want be able to tackle from the base of it all, see HERE to find out if we’re a good fit.
On the other hand, if you’re looking for more easily accessible resources for self-development and overall health, here’s a free e-book access for you.
Transparency for me is the basis for trust in doing business with other people.
Going back, one of the ladies I had that talk with, asked me about my thoughts on the matter because I was very firm on it, making a statement that it’s really important. And today, I’ll share with you the things that I’ve shared with them – where after the end of the long discussion they got new perspectives.
I’ll begin by giving you a scenario.
“Let’s say, you lied to your friend John, but here comes Marie who knows the truth, and one day, you discovered that John and Marie are friends What are you gonna do? Will you tell the truth to John or pretend like nothing’s wrong at all?”
That’s entirely up to you – but to tell you something, regardless of the act that you take, you cannot reverse the damage that you’ve done with the lying, you’ve already tarnished your reputation, and with that reputation, how can people know if they can trust you?
The scenario may be simple, but we know how common it is.
Aside from reputation being tarnished, what can it do to you internally?
You’ll be anxious and you’ll always overthink it. You’ll have to be very extra cautious and you’re always scared of something, especially the truth spilling out.
All that are very stressful and we know what too much stress does to our bodies, so it’s not wise to lie from the very beginning.
THE AMOUNT OF ENERGY IT TAKES
All these things also take a lot of energy just to keep track of things.
One lie leads to more lies, and it will just never be over.
Let me share my personal experience about the matter.
When I was new with my business, I got help from various associations from the upstart and got into a co-op with a lady nurse.
Everything was great! Or at least, looked great on the surface as she had a great business model that we used – except that she had a hidden agenda.
She was never transparent in the beginning as my business partner. She put everything in her name and was just telling me that it was ours, but then I was too blue-eyed to question it.
People around me started questioning some of the things we were doing so I had a hunch that something more was happening. I then confronted her but all I got were additional lies I failed to notice as lies so we continued…
Until I asked the wrong question, or actually, the RIGHT ONE that made her shield crack and blew up on me, even uttered things like I do not know anything about healthcare.
Me? Who’s been a Doctor for decades???? Knows nothing about healthcare??? Pretty sure that’s her way to gaslight in her effort to escape the questions I asked.
Then the 3-month hell started, til I got help from my lawyers to put the company in bankruptcy. We both lost a lot of money and it took me a year of hard work as a Doctor to be able to recover.
THE LESSON
Be aware of what you sign up for, and ask the right questions. Transparency is a MUST.
TRANSPARENCY AND SUCCESS CORRELATION
How does transparency help in business success?
Well, aside from the fact that you’ll be closer to achieving success if you are less stressed…
Imagine running a business without transparency. You can be great at what you do, but the company’s success will never be long-term without it.
Remember, it only takes a single wronged person for a business to fall.
WHAT TO DO WHEN BEING TRANSPARENT IS NOT AN OPTION
Having worked in healthcare as a Doctor for many years… I know that there are just unexpected situations where being completely transparent is hard so I know that it’s not always easy.
It was always a thin line to walk for me. I mean, how do you easily tell your patients about things that you know could really hurt them and their families?
But of course, at the same time, I know better – than holding it off, covering it up, postponing it, or worse, lying about it would just make things worse.
“So you shrug it off, the possibility of hurting them?”
No. But I always search for the best words to tell them. I tell the truth and nothing but the complete truth, but I kind of wrap my words in a nice package so it doesn’t hit them so hard. If possible.
BUSINESS TRANSPARENCY
Transparency in business means offering a clear, honest assessment of what’s going on within one’s work and starts with a simple shift in communication: openness and honesty between everyone involved in the business relationship.
It is also the basis for trust between a firm and its investors, customers, partners, and employees, having its core objective to be always the same: establishing trust and goodwill.
Let’s look at Some examples of what transparency in business can include:
With Investors and Shareholders – Investors think about transparency in terms of how readily they can access financial information about a company, including its price levels and audited financial reports. Investors must be able to trust that your organization produces financial reports that are informative, accurate, and independently audited.
With Customers – Customers want to see transparency from the businesses where they choose to spend their money. To achieve transparency with its customers, businesses should respond to customer inquiries and feedback in an honest and timely fashion, and increase the accessibility of information about their products and services. Transparency also means admitting to mistakes instead of trying to cover them up, and working to make things right with customers. When executed well, transparency with customers results in elevated brand loyalty, increased sales, and stronger employee satisfaction.
In the Supply Chain – Transparency between an organization and its vendors and suppliers is essential for ensuring a productive ongoing relationship. An organization may cease doing business with a supplier who fails to honestly communicate about the sources of its materials or labor. Supply chains are increasingly being scrutinized by governments, consumers, and NGOs who are concerned about the ethical sourcing of labor and materials.
With Employees – Transparency with employees is centered around honest, two-way communications between employees of the business and their managers. This can include transparent discussions about business goals and objectives, challenges, employee performance, and other work-related issues.
In the end, the primary benefit of business transparency is that it produces trust and goodwill while safeguarding the firm’s reputation among investors, partners, employees, customers, and other stakeholders. In addition to all the above-mentioned, benefits also include:
Increasing employee morale
Boosting employee engagement and retention
Demonstrating stability and encouraging investment
Leveraging honest feedback to improve processes and drive results
Demonstrating integrity and ethical behavior
Studies show that approximately 9 in 10 individuals (85%) are expected to stick by the company during a brand crunch if it possesses a history of being fully transparent.
TRANSPARENCY AND INTERNAL INFORMATION
Transparency in business can also mean publicizing a company’s internal information externally which can include:
Financial performance
Pricing
Key processes
Hiring practices
Diversity and inclusion data
Sharing all of this information keeps companies accountable to their customers and, most importantly, pushes them to follow ethical business practices.
Nowadays, people don’t just buy your product or services — they also buy what you stand for. In Edelman’s 2019 Brand Trust Survey, 81% of survey respondents reported that they “must be able to trust the brand to do what is right” to justify their purchase of the brand’s products or services.
But how exactly do you gain people’s trust, especially when the majority of consumers are skeptical of a lot of brands’ true intentions? A crucial first step to take is to fully commit to transparency. People value transparency because we evolved to trust the people who are honest and despise those who are deceptive. The former could help us survive. The latter could do the very opposite.
In a nutshell, people buy brands — not just products — and practicing transparency helps build their trust and affinity for your company. But this begs the question — what does that actually look like?
As I started off today ALL of these angles – steps – viewpoints cause a lot of stress for everyone involved if we feel we are doing the wrong thing.
Sticking to the truth helps us to stay grounded and be sure we do our best and that will be the best guarantee for less stress in your business
And of course, all these facts and angles can be applied to your personal life too.
This discussion around transparency, around the truth or lying, can be hard to tackle. It is a sensitive subject that can stress you out a lot.
What is right and what is wrong?
If you do not know where to start or feel hard to do on your own, it’s okay! You can start with little things, such as mastering your stress management as a leader, and then with less stress, the rest will automatically follow.
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