Depression… While more people are getting aware of it, it is still a controversial topic to some. You’ll hear people – the majority of people, quickly jumping into recommending pills or antidepressants quickly – despite being “not” too knowledgeable about depression itself (signs, symptoms, diagnosis, etc.)
PILLS TREATMENT
Over the last decades, the treatment rate with pills for depression has increased for many good reasons – but also, a bit for bad.
When today’s antidepressants hit the market, it was a revolution compared to the old pill available.
The old ones had massive side effects. You were kind of sent into a zero land where all emotions were gone – you became like a ghost, and they were heart toxic – meaning it was easy to intoxicate yourself with the end result of death.
I KNOW THIS, MEDICALLY, AND FROM EXPERIENCE…
I know from personal experience that my brother repeatedly was taken to heart intensive care.
TODAY’S ANTIDEPRESSANTS
The new version of antidepressants, however, did not have those tough side effects. They are not toxic, so it is hard to kill yourself with them and that is a plus in depression treatment!
SIDE EFFECTS OF TODAY’S PILLS
Some people feel like they get into a bubble eating them, while some have a negative effect on your libido, and they usually take a couple of weeks before they start to make a difference.
Many patients have great help from them – the deeper the depression was to start with, the better the effect. Still, they aren’t for everyone and there is no way other than to test them out to see whom they do work for.
A TREATMENT THAT OUTCLASSES THE PILLS.
Yes, with today’s knowledge, there is one treatment that far out outclasses the pills!
Physical activity has come up as the #1 best medicine for depression – all mild depression but also for moderate depression.
But you’d notice that it is not often used as a treatment in traditional medicine. I wonder why…
WHAT DEPRESSION IS
Depression is often a result of stress and anxiety. We have used daily walks as a treatment for stress for a long time – so this is just the far end of stress treatment.
The effect was good both for healthy individuals and for people diagnosed with disorders that can cause anxiety or lead to depression.
THE EFFECTS OF PHYSICAL ACTIVITY
Physical activity releases dopamine, noradrenaline, and serotonin which all are feel-good hormones.
It is a superpower for turning us into a good mood!
The side effects of physical activity are also mostly good effects on other processes in our bodies, like weight, energy levels, blood pressure, cholesterol levels, muscle- and joint pain, and much more.
But despite all these facts…
Physical activity has not been the first choice of treatment in health care.
I think that is a pity because of all the good we know AND it is for free, you can do it anytime it suits you.
You can also take power walks with your friends and make it a win-win with a good conversation together. Also Yoga, Pilates, and alike have the same effects!
I AM NOT SAYING PILLS ARE USELESS They absolutely are useful and helpful, especially in cases of severe depression. If possible, combine pills and physical activity together for increased effect.
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN STRESS, ANXIETY, AND DEPRESSION
Stress is our emotional and physical response to stressors like unexpected changes or events, and other situations. It raises our blood pressure and heart rate as our body feels the emotional strain and pressure. It’s a reaction to a current trigger.
Anxiety, on the other hand, is when we feel uneasy due to constant worries, especially about the things that have not happened yet – which may or may not happen at all. It is how we dread certain events from happening (or not happening) and may have similar symptoms to stress, but due to different causes.
Stress and Anxiety when both left untreated… may lead to depression, which then constantly affects your mood negatively.
IN ADDITION TO PHYSICAL ACTIVITY…
Physical activity is just one of the many options available as a natural treatment for stress, anxiety, and depression.
Other things that you can practice include being mindful, getting a good amount of sleep, establishing healthy habits, healthy lifestyle, and healthy food choices.
Combining them all together will help you not fall to the growing number of people experiencing depression.
And in case you get lazy…
It’s normal – as not everybody has the energy to move around their bodies – but it is necessary not just for mental health, but also for your health in general.
MAKE IT FUN
It doesn’t have to be exhilarating, as you can choose activities you know you will enjoy. Ride a bike, or learn a new sport – whatever suits you – just remember to always make it fun for it to be enjoyable, and so that you won’t dread doing it and instead LOOK FORWARD to doing it! 🙂
You probably have heard about daily journaling many times, as it’s a frequent subject of discussions about personal growth. The question is, why?
DAILY JOURNALING WORKS
Yes, if the question is why then the simple answer is BECAUSE IT WORKS.
Let me ask you a quick question:
“Do you journal?”
Have you answered yes? Great! Have you answered no? Maybe you must start trying.
Do you know what another answer we frequently get for this question aside from a simple yes/no?
“I know I should, but no I don’t.”
Interesting, right?
HOW YOU CAN JOURNAL AS A HABIT
Most people – at least in the business world, say that they know they should do journaling as a daily habit as it would be good for their business, but still end up not doing it.
I’d say…
The very first thing to do is just get a pen and a notebook, and start writing even without much thinking – just let your thoughts flow. Believe me, you’ll be amazed!
Also… a tip: Refrain from using the word “should”, as we know that when we use it, we most of the time end up not doing them, because of how the thoughts enter our subconscious. Instead, let’s tell ourselves: WE HAVE TO – so our subconscious won’t end up having too many excuses.
WHY SOME PEOPLE DON’T JOURNAL
Going back to what I mentioned, the answer here would be as simple as: They don’t know where or how to start.
Why? Because before they even begin to write they think of things like:
“I’m no writer”.
Or
“I feel like my thoughts are too complicated”.
But hey…
Let go of those thoughts because they don’t make sense in journaling.
In journaling, you don’t need to be a professional writer – that ain’t the goal of that. It ain’t not for publishing, yeah?
Same as if you feel your thoughts are too complicated… exactly why you must write them down! Know how things suddenly become so organized after writing them down and being able to clearly ponder? That’s also how it is in journaling.
So again, just let go… And just start writing. 🙂
WHY DO JOURNALING?
Journaling helps you organize your thoughts – helping you make more conscious decisions. It’s a tool to find YOUR WHY, sort your feelings, comes up with new ideas, discovers yourself and your inner being… and many more!
Plus, you’ll realize how much of a big help it actually is when you have something to come back to and reflect on. You’ll see your personal progress, you’ll see how far you’ve come by, and you’ll see things you still need to improve and work on.
TIPS ON WHAT TO WRITE
If you are a beginner or just planning to start journaling soon and looking for ideas to write about… Here are some:
1. Your Activities + Feelings
What have you been up to recently? How did you feel about them? What did you enjoy the most or what bored you to death?
2. Significant Events + Your Reactions
What happened today? Are there things that made you feel happy or sad? Were there words uttered you liked or didn’t like hearing? Were there sudden changes? How did you react?
3. Future Plans + Essential Steps to Take
What do you plan for yourself in the next 3, 5, or 7 years from now? What are the necessary steps to achieve them? Does the current thing you’re doing resonate with your future plans?
You can start with those 3 things for now, and see how they affect you personally. You’ll be surprised how those simple things can help make you realize huge things!
Also, make it fun! Don’t force yourself to sit endlessly long with your journaling… So if you get tired of it after 10 minutes – just stop without guilt. 😉
I guess you are like most people – sometimes you feel at the top when you wake up in the morning – and sometimes you are on a low; which makes you often wonder: “How do I consistently stay at the top when I wake up and start my day positively?”
WAKING UP TIRED
You wake up tired, and your head feels heavy even if you have been sleeping, still your energy feels drained. And since we need energy in everything that we do, we feel unmotivated to move if not fueled enough with it, at the end affecting our mood.
OUR ENERGY
Talking about energy – we can’t buy it or get it from anybody else. We have to generate it ourselves through healthy living.
But how do we get enough energy?
Our sleep, what we eat, and believe it or not – our physical activity.
I know what you could possibly be thinking, that we lose energy after physical activity. And while that’s true that we get tired by working out hard, doing it correctly on the other hand builds up energy.
HOW TO GET IT RIGHT
Physical activity, when done correctly and in the right amount our body can handle, helps in building up our energy. We don’t have to do those hard workouts if we do not want to, but just simply “move our body”.
7 DIFFERENT OUTCOMES
Let’s take a look at the 7 possible different outcomes. The goal is to get you out of your couch potato mode and help you find a winning activity for a daily good mood and energy.
1.Sleep
Sleep is NOT a waste of time contrary to what some believe – it is the source of life. During sleep, we do the “housecleaning of the brain” so to speak. Memories get organized, waste products are washed out, and we get refreshed.
This also means that…
If the sleep is broken or interrupted, and not giving you the rest you really need, you will still end up waking tired.
Where does physical activity come in?
Exercising soon before bedtime disturbs the sleep hormone Melatonin, pumps our blood flow, and keeps the “alert hormones” pumping so we’re actually doing ourselves a disservice.
“What about night workouts then, is it time to say goodbye?”
Well, workouts are always better in the mornings – but if only nights work for you, at least make sure it’s not close to your bedtime.
Tip: Slow movements like evening outdoor walks help in slowing down your system and prepare you to sleep, and starting a day with either a hard workout, a brisk walk, or yoga meditation helps in setting out a good day.
2. SELF-ESTEEM
Okay, relevance?
With low self-esteem, physical activities feel hard, to begin with. It can make you feel as if every movement you make is awkward – even if it’s not.
Until you finally decide to try THAT ONE TIME, and you feel great and proud of it. You can’t explain why, but it makes it possible to think of doing it again because it made you feel good for some reason.
It does so because the regular moving of your body rewires your brain’s perception of self-confidence and respect – and you now know you are capable.
So in the end – your chosen physical activity has helped your self-belief and you have grown in the eyes yourself, and if you look back, you’ll realize that that one move you were not so confident to take before, now’s actually a part of your daily routine. Congratulations!
3. Better Focus and Memory
Now that you have boosted your self-esteem, we can see other good effects of moving your body like helping your memory and focus, all because of the endorphins released that boost your mood and sharpens your mind.
Together with the improved sleeping and lowered stress that comes with physical activity, we get all these fantastic benefits!
4. DAILY ENERGY INCREASE
As we started off to tell – “WE” are energy. And that energy can become stagnant if we just sit still, so we need to move to release the energy to make us feel alive.
“How?”
Energy is created in our mitochondria – they are our power machine and they exist in ALL our cells. They work around the clock to help us stay alive – and they create, and create energy.
Tip: The mitochondria are dependent on food intake of good quality to function at its best – so beware of what you eat…
5. HIGHER STRESS RESILIENCE
Regular exercise lowers the cortisol levels in our blood, which is a great way to increase tolerance to our life stressors.
Exercise, even at low levels, releases chemicals in our muscles that signal our brain to change. These chemicals reduce anxiety and depression and boost moods.
Tip: If you know you get overwhelmed easily, regular exercise eventually makes lasting structural brain changes that make you more resilient.
6. MOVING AS MEDITATION
Fun fact… exercise can be a meditation in itself.
I talked last week about cleaning and textile work as meditation. This is in the same system. You might think of meditation as something you need to do very regulated – almost a bit secret. But it is not!
Meditation is basically “getting into the moment” – and can be done anywhere. Focusing on your breath is a central piece of meditation and that is what you can do when you do your chosen way of meditation.
7. LOWERS DEPRESSION
Exercising is proven to be as effective as antidepressant medications. When I am working in the health care clinic, I usually prescribe a 30-minute brisk walk to my patients as their first pill.
How does it work?
Well, exercise releases feel-good hormones (endorphins), and as they flow into our blood system in larger amounts while walking, it helps in suppressing our moody feeling and we feel positive.
SUMMARY
Physical activity has an immensely good effect on so many levels in our lives.
So, get out of bed, start building the new habit of starting the day with a brisk walk or any other physical activity, and your thinking, self-esteem, memory, mood, and sleep, and more will all win big time!
WHERE TO START
There is only one right time to start and that is NOW, so what are you waiting for….?
No matter your age, gender, color, or religion – it works the same for all of us.
The investment is in you – and it will benefit you until your last breath on earth. Live while you can!
If you tend to hold grudges, it’s time to learn to let go as letting go of your grudges lessens your stress in life and helps you achieve real happiness.
HOLDING GRUDGES
A grudge is when you have this constant feeling of resentment or ill will brought by the past memories – but in the end, up to no good.
Why? Because it constantly brings back all the negative emotions it has with it, and you feel like you’re back there all over again.
GRUDGES ARE TOXIC
Holding grudges is toxic, and at the same time – makes you toxic.
We, at some point in our lives, all have met people who deceived us, or hurt us in any way – and even after parting ways, we hold this anger or irritating feeling towards them. In the end, we get consumed by those emotions and we become toxic.
But let us face the reality.
Who loses when we hold grudges against anyone? US! Because we are allowing ourselves to lose our peace of mind from the things that are already “IN THE PAST”.
GRUDGES ARE UNHEALTHY
It’s both physically and mentally unhealthy for us to hold grudges. Grudges are like bottles full of our anger and remorse. Now when that bottle opens or breaks, we explode – and when we explode, we tend to suddenly forget what taking care of ourselves looks like.
WHY MUST WE NOT HOLD GRUDGES
If I’m going to look at some of the MANY reasons why we MUST not hold grudges… Here are my favorites:
It makes us stuck, not being able to move on.
Who wants this, right? As much as possible, we want to leave the past as it is – especially when it’s awful. But in all honesty, how are we going to do that if we can’t let go of our baggage?
It can still hurt us, BAD.
As long as we hold grudges, we’re allowing whatever or whoever to inflict the exact same amount of pain like they did the last time – and just like that, we’re back at it again, making us relive all the negative experiences over and over as if we’re in a trance.
It makes you feel like you can never trust again.
You will find it hard to trust as all you see is either black or white. You think that only two things exist: the good or the bad, forgetting that somewhere in the middle, there are a lot of beautiful reasons and possibilities.
You take it out on others.
Admit it or not, the moment you see some sign you have painted on your head after what has happened in the past – you immediately assume that everyone you see this into will automatically do the same thing to you. Hence, making you distance yourself or unconsciously be rude to them and still justify everything as an “I’m just protecting myself” kinda thing.
Sounds all bad, don’t they?
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO
Now that we’ve seen all the negative things it does to us, let’s take at our options so we can finally learn to let go of our grudges:
1. Acceptance
It already has happened, there is nothing that we can do any more or could have done, so it’s just the way that it is.
2. Forgiveness
It is admittedly hard to forgive whoever has wronged you, especially if they have done great damage.
But if I am to share a secret with you… You do not need to force yourself to forgive them, because all you need to do is…
FORGIVE YOURSELF.
Forgive yourself for letting yourself get hurt by others, or allowing them to hurt you. Forgive yourself that you failed to protect yourself from them before. Forgive yourself that you were not able to do what you think now that you should have done, let it all go… and forgive yourself.
The moment you forgive yourself fully is in reality the moment you find it easier to forgive them.
3. Remember that we are all JUST HUMANS.
We tend to get mad and irritated when we forget that we are all just humans who make wrong or bad decisions in life. Maybe they have reasons, or maybe they had no reasons and they were just in bad shape making bad decisions – regardless, we know that we have those moments too.
Maybe we overestimated them, or maybe we thought wrong of them. Whatever it is, the truth is, the majority of the disappointment always comes from people who “fail to do what we expect them to do” or people who “do what we do not expect them to do”. Let go of these, and things will be easier.
4. Do not play the role of the victim.
Now, this does not sound good at all but hear me. You are the one in control of your life, so you have the power to decide what can make you happy, and what can hurt you.
It’s time for you to tell yourself, “these types of things cannot hurt me”, and live it. Remember, YOU have the power, so do not give them an inch of it.
2 Dimensions Of Forgiveness
Forgiveness has two independent dimensions:
Intrapsychic state (letting go of inner anger and resentment), and
Interpersonal act (telling the offending person “I forgive you”).
Now, which sounds better?
Remember to always choose 1, and that the number 2 is always optional. The Intrapsychic state is for your own peace of mind. If you do not do this, you will never have peace of mind. Meanwhile, the interpersonal act may or may not benefit you – depending on how you feel. If it makes you feel better saying it, go on but if it doesn’t because you never want to be associated with the person ever again – then you do not need to.
You can always forgive silently. You are not responsible for letting them know that you do, as much as you’re never responsible for helping them break free from their personal guilt.
RELEASE YOURSELF FROM THE STRESS
All these grudges do nothing to you except stress you out.
You may have a grudge against anyone, or against yourself – but whoever it is against, it’s important for you to remember that “THE GRUDGE ONLY HURTS YOU, NOT ANYBODY ELSE”.
So in reality, it can do nothing EXCEPT hurt you more, or stress you out more.
Two words: Grief, and Memories. Two words with different meanings but will always be bound to be together as after the grief, comes the memories. The question is, are you willing to let the grief turn into beautiful recollections or let it eat you and lose yourself in the process?
MY STORY
May 27, 1987, when I was in Labor. My first child, our first child – was on her way out of me. The pregnancy had been really tough. I was very nauseated and I didn’t think that I was growing enough.
I was a medical student and the people around me told me that I was just reading too much and putting much into it, but I didn’t have any kids prior so I don’t really don’t know well. To be fair, I didn’t know of course, because it was my first pregnancy. But there was something that was kind of held off…
Anyway, back to the story – on May 12, 35 years ago… Our daughter was born and she came out tiny. Dave, my husband, ran out with her right to the intensive care just not telling us anything and after some hours I gotta see her in the breathing machine with all those needles and things all over her little body in this little glass box, and that’s where she was until when she was three weeks old.
That time was tough. I was staying in the maternity ward without a child with me so I got all the glances as if I wasn’t supposed to be there so I really had no support. It was like everybody expected me to know everything just because I was a medical student – forgetting that I was also just a new mother with a newborn who was very ill.
MY JOY AND MY GRIEF
Fast forward to when I got to bring her home – she was 3 weeks old and I was breastfeeding – everything seemed to work perfectly at the beginning. We were even able to bring her out with us for the first time in her 4th week after living her first few weeks in the hospital. Then comes the unexpected… Heart failure at seven weeks.
What in the world? I knew there was something off but I just couldn’t pinpoint what it was. I was a first-time mother but it is true after all, you get the maternal instincts immediately so you better listen to your feelings despite what others think.
Since the heart failure, it was then figured that she’s got a kidney problem caused by a genetic disorder – and the worst thing??? No treatment is available! So what were our options? Maybe a transplant, they said. But I was a medical student, and I know that the chance of that working is close to none and that we were just provided that option because everyone around me believed that everything was going to be okay.
INTO THE DEEP DARK HOLE
When she was nine weeks old, my brother who had schizophrenia for around 10 years committed suicide – my and my family’s world fell apart.
Another week went by, there were all these preparations for my brother’s funeral, and then exactly one week later on the Monday that my brother died, my baby daughter, all of a sudden died too.
What happened to me???? You’d never want to imagine. Just into a black hole – a very, very, very black hole. And that was the most stressful thing I could ever think that would happen. I was in bed for two days, and couldn’t even get out to go to my brother’s funeral.
THE GOOD SAMARITAN
Two days later, a neighbor of mine dragged me out just to go to the shop to buy some bread and share some moral lessons. Yes, that was a very tough time for me. When I was out on the streets, all the people I came across didn’t know how to treat me – like the moment they see me they’ll just go to the other side (I couldn’t blame them, maybe they did not know what to say), but of course, all I wanted was for them to say “Hi, I see you, I hear you, I am here” – but then maybe again, easier said than done.
MY FIRST STEP TO HEALING
I then grabbed one of my friends to come with me to a store – to buy my FIRST black dress. Yes, it was my first black dress as I have never in my life worn one – it just ain’t my color. So I put the black dress on, and for some reason, it felt good, like a relief.
Reason being? Grief process. As I’ve said, never in my life have I worn a black dress (blue, and shades near that are more of “me” than black is), so the feeling of wearing that black dress for the first time kind of put me in a bubble-like it was just a dream – but in reality, my first step of going through the “Grieving Process”.
My brother’s funeral… Then came the funeral of my little baby – it was beautiful. I wanted to take the casket home, but my husband reminded me to let go and keep her in a “good memory” for ourselves.
SLOWLY BUT SURELY…
We then went on a trip where I realized that it probably was the second step of my grieving process – just feeling it, but this time, beautifully and with acceptance. Do you know how soothing it feels to just be slow on the road, and be out in the wilderness? It was therapeutic: Nature, fresh air, and just getting out there to breathe.
Fast forward to a couple of months after everything – I finally was able to take my real (last) exam, got my medical license, got a job, and started working. Yay! Everything’s slowly, but surely getting better.
MY REALIZATIONS
Every day before going to sleep, I think and reflect on everything – and in the end, I decided to take care of myself, have a daily routine, eat good food, and exercise. While doing all these, I realized that “self-care” is actually my way of dealing with my stress, and can actually be considered “treatment”, or basically, a way to de-stress.
Then came the realization: If I who had all these what I could say were beyond worse experiences, was able to get out of that deep dark hole and get back up, what’s the reason others can’t?
Maybe they find it hard because they don’t know what to do, maybe they have no strong support system, or maybe, it’s just because they lack the awareness of what self-care can do.
SELF-CARE and ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
Self-care doesn’t mean doing everything by yourself. Acknowledging that you need help from other people is also a form of self-care. As the famous John Donne says, “No Man Is an Island”.
So as someone who’s committed to self-care, I scheduled sessions with a psychologist, to further help me get better by providing the necessary support that I need. As someone working in healthcare to tend to other people, I must make sure that I myself am well-cared for.
IMPORTANCE OF HONESTY
One important thing in all these is for you to remember the importance of being honest and out in the open with someone you trust who in my case was my back the psychologist.
Being honest and open just makes everything better. An unexpected strong support system comes in, and you’ll be surprised how big of a help they’re going to partake in your journey.
UNTIL ONE DAY…
You’ll just be shocked how the grief has turned into wonderful memories and beautiful stories with a lot of lessons you’re going to take with you for the rest of your life. That everything may not be back to where it’s supposed to be, but at least you know that now, it’s better.
As for me, it was a time that I could freely talk about her, and every time I mention her I imagined her photo attached to the wall together with ours – and who would have known that after that, I got three more beautiful girls.
THE LESSON
Grieving can be good, as it is the first step in the process of healing. We grieve for a lot of different things or reasons, and it may keep us from moving forward – but we must remember that nobody heals without going through its tormenting process.
Allow yourself to grieve, until you can one day accept the way things are, and then you can live with it in peace, knowing that what caused your grief once, has now turned into a beautiful recollection of the past.
YOU ARE NOT ON YOUR OWN
Whatever it is, always remember you’re not on your own and that people are just waiting for you to ask. Plus, there is no harm in asking.
Why does it seem so easy to other people to hit it on, but we always feel like it is sooo hard to even start a conversation?
This is a long stretch for many people. I get it!
I know from myself – being an introvert – still am but have found ways to walk around it.
But when I was younger I was always in the second line of people – never upfront, never saying a thing except when I was treated deeply unfairly, especially by a special teacher in high school, but when I spoke up, I got myself in bad trouble!
She liked me just as little as I liked her. Teachers who have very obvious favorites have never been my favorites.
Maybe you share this experience with me..
Today I want to talk about ways to connect with people – new ones and old ones too! Make the conversation and connection a good one, help them grow, and help yourself grow.
1. COMPLIMENT
The first way can be to compliment someone or say something nice to them in a nice and honest way.
It doesn’t count if you just say it so you can but then you know you don’t mean it – you’ll be surprised how many people actually can read genuineness from afar.
FIND THE BEAUTY
Who Doesn’t want to speak with you when you let them know how great you think their shoes, hair, shirt or car is? Find the beauty and let it flow.
I am sure that in just about any situation you can find at least ONE thing you can honestly say positive things about.
PRACTICE
You can practice this by doing it in all meetings you have with other people, and you’ll get used to it that it will come naturally every time.
You also don’t know how much you can light up a person receiving your compliment, and that tiny positivity you started will spread around and it will be a win-win for everyone.
2. GRATITUDE
When you share gratitude with someone for something they have done for you, it is the perfect open door for a conversation.
This works a little bit like the giving of compliments But focuses on something they have done for you that you can be grateful for.
It does not have to be big life-changing things, it can be very minor actions, like opening the door for you.
IT WORKS 2 WAYS
Gratitude works in 2 ways. Your brain gives rewards to YOU for doing it by making you feel good, and of course, the receiver, a simple thanks could always go a long way.
Who knows where this ripple effect could lead?
3. SMILE
The power of a smile – is my favorite. So easy, always at hand, so effective!
Yes, smiling is contagious and science has demonstrated that over time and time again. Your smile may be the perfect catalyst for a conversation also with people you don’t know from the beginning.
A smile is irresistible. It is extremely hard not to smile back if someone gives you a smile, and you can use the smile just to spread happiness even if you don’t aim to start a conversation.
I have talked about the smile tool for many years now – and I still love it. I was an introvert – but smiling is easy.
4. CHECK-IN ON THEM
Give them a ring or send a card!
The pandemic has not been a ton of fun for anyone, making the community experience the pandemic as the perfect catalyst that can bond two people – asking how someone managed the pandemic life, and now that when the pandemic is on its way out we can still find thousands of other reasons to check in on friends and family.
5. A QUICK HELLO DOESN’T HURT
A simple hello can be the catalyst to a great conversation on the street, at the office, or in your community.
Who knows who you might get connected with based on a simple hello?
KINDNESS IS THE BASE
As you by now may have gathered is that all 5 ways are based on the same principle – kindness, – and it is contagious
All of my examples – compliments, gratitude, smile, friendly check-in conversation, or just saying hello – are all based on Kindness and have astounding ripple effects, so a little kindness can go a long way.
Kindness is CONTAGIOUS – an odd but true thing to say.
An even more fun fact is that kindness is more contagious than a virus, as it works EVERY TIME.
“How is that possible?”, you might ask.
Well, that is made possible by our little mirrors…
Or basically, our neurons mirror the behavior of each other, as though the observer were itself doing the act.
THE MIRROR NEURON THEORY
Imagine walking one day to grab your morning coffee, and someone just greeted you “Good Morning” with a big smile, you automatically smile and greet them back even if you do not know the person.
Then you will notice that you’re suddenly spreading positive vibes with the people around you, you carry the smile for a longer time and you pass it to the people you encounter, and of course, they pass it along too.
That also applies to negative emotions, that is why when someone is having a bad day and spreading negative vibes in one room, you just feel like you want to get out because you also feel the negativity as if it’s yours.
Additionally, we mirror back ourselves. When we do good deeds, like giving compliments or expressing gratitude, we produce feel-good hormones in our brains which make us feel so much better.
So the more we do it, the more we feel good and the higher the chance of getting it back.
MORE CASES
Not enough proof?
Why do you move your leg or get the urge to do so when watching an intense football/soccer game?
Why do you cry when you see television actors cry? Why do you laugh when they laugh? Why do you feel the emotions so much as if what’s happening to the show is happening to you?
I know, it’s astonishing to even imagine how it works. I was astounded when I first heard about it too, but I think science first figured out the theory because of the smile scenarios – that if I smile at you you automatically smile back despite not knowing each other.
KINDNESS FROM A BUSINESS PERSPECTIVE
Let’s analyze this from a business perspective.
A lot of businesses today or at least their leadership believe in using push methods which are stressful.
Being pushed to do harder can be motivational if done right, but most of the time makes the person feel more pressured than motivated.
They might look like everything’s alright at the moment, as they have no problems working too hard, but in the LONG RUN, they will start to feel overwhelmed, and demotivated, and you will notice the work getting slower. You get stressed out – and in the end, burned out
Why? Because the push method only works for short-term relationships, if you want to build a long-term one, you have to do it right and make sure that what you release is positivity so that in return what you get is efficiency and effectiveness.
Businesses, it actually goes for every activity – business or not – activities are supposed to be fun and not all seriousness, as if mixed with a good amount of fun, the value comes.
Feelings of all types have ways of getting into us no matter what.
WHAT TO DO NEXT
So the next time you encounter anyone, use this mirror neuron theory to spread goodness around.
THERE IS NO NEED TO HURRY
However you want to start a conversation, remember that you do not need to hurry or pressure yourself. Do it when you’re ready! You don’t want to stutter or say words not thought about, to avoid it from backfiring.
If you want more help with self-development, here’s a copy of my free e-bookso you can jumpstart your journey!
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