“Take the time off” – a very lovely phrase that can make us throw off a really big smile.
But why when we hear that it makes us smile too big, as if we have been REAAAAALLY longing for it for a very long time?
It can be rewarding to hear that, but it must be normalized.
NORMALIZING TIME OFFS
Time offs must be normalized. Time offs don’t always have to be because of sickness or emergencies, but must also be given regularly to maintain a healthy working environment.
Time offs don’t always have to be long. They can even be just 20-30 minutes filled with fun games, ice breakers, walk time, or nap time.
Or they can be one or 2 days in one month where people can spend that day doing whatever.
DIFFERENT WAYS TO GET BREAKS
Breaks or time-offs can be done with a lot of different things, as long as it means getting your mind rested and removing yourself even for a while from the stressful situation or environment.
Short quiet breaks – short quiet breaks help with focus. It can be spent by walking, doing nothing, or can also be spent by just taking really deep breaths to practice mindfulness.
Short energizer breaks – don’t want a short quiet break but one for energy boost instead of for focus? Then try spending short breaks doing fun things such as singing, dancing, jumping, jamming, or just playing a fun game.
Day off – get a day off if you know you’d need the whole day to sort things out before you can regain your focus. Spend the day doing nothing, or doing everything you need to do. It’s entirely up to you.
Book a vacation – book that long vacation you have been planning. Some need longer periods of break, and this is normal.
REGULAR SHORT BREAKS vs. RARE LONG BREAKS
It’s either this or that, no in-betweens. So if you are the employer or the boss, you must decide which one you’d like to prioritize for the mental well-being of all your workers.
Do you prefer them to take regular short breaks to boost everyday productivity, or do you maximize their work energy until they feel drained and take that long break to get them refreshed?
Remember, regular short breaks prevent burnout and overwhelm which eventually leads to long breaks or worse, permanent breaks (if you know what I mean, lol).
HAVING “TIME OFF” IS ACTUALLY GOOD
In fact, research even CONSISTENTLY shows the health benefits of taking time offs, and there is a research about time offs that shows that employees rate paid vacation as the No. 2 most-important benefit after health care.
So yes, take that time off in every way possible and in however way you want it, as long as you take it is what matters.
MAKE YOUR TIME OFF PRODUCTIVE IF YOU PREFER
If you’re like me who also wants to be productive even on their time off, here’s a personal development e-book that you can read during your time-off, to come back for a refreshing start.
We are all aware how sometimes it seems like there’s nothing we can do about stress at work and home, but there actually are steps that we can take to maintain them at a minimum.
But first, why is it even important to “manage” our stress?
Living with high levels of stress puts our entire well-being at risk. It affects us both emotionally and physically. With uncontrolled stress, we seem to make bad decisions that we regret later on because when we’re already stressed, we have the tendency to avoid thinking more, only to end up adding more stress when we start regretting our choices. Sounds familiar?
On the contrary…
Being able to manage our stress effectively increases our productivity because we do more and are more efficient when we are happy.
What seems to be confusing and hard to most is… That we need a happy life to be less stressed but at the same time need our stress levels at a minimum to be able to live a happy life.
The key?
Finding the BALANCE.
THE BALANCE
The ultimate key to keeping your stress levels down is living a balanced life for family, friends, relationships, work, hobbies, relaxation, fun, and just about finding the time to do the things that you love – heck, you can even experiment to figure out more things that could actually make you happy!
Sounds easy, right?
But the problem is that… In stress management, just like in everything else – there’s not a one-size-fits-all solution. But of course, IT’S ALWAYS POSSIBLE.
Having that said, here are tips in stress management that you can try:
1. Identifying the sources
Think of it, how can you solve something if you do not know what’s causing it?
Wait – don’t get too comfortable, this isn’t as easy as it sounds. It could be easy to identify major stressors like big or unexpected life changes, but what about those that have always been there?
Let’s say you feel like you’re stressed every day because of the job demands, so you blame the demands of the job immediately for your stress – you resigned.
Before you resigned, have you ever tried looking at your “own ways”? Maybe you’re procrastinating, maybe you just need to be more efficient and need to have a structure you can follow. Get the point?
To truly identify which is which, you need to CLOSELY evaluate your habits and attitude or responses to things being thrown at you. How do you react? Have you tried changing it, or trying a different way?
Remember, until you learn to change your responses to positive ones, your stress level will remain outside your control.
BONUS: Start a stress journal for easy tracking. Jot down things like what caused your stress, how it made you feel, how did you respond, and what you did to feel better. Believe me, it goes a LONG WAY!
2. Practicing the 4 A’s
While we can’t predict when stress comes, there are actually some stressors that we can easily identify (e.g. commuting to work, upcoming meetings, daily responsibilities) but can NEVER escape.
When it comes to those types of stressors, the only thing that we can change is the way we handle them. We already know that we cannot change the situation and that there’s nothing we can do, so we can only change our reaction.
And that’s where the 4 A’s come in: Avoid, Alter, Adapt, Accept
Avoid: Is the situation avoidable? If yes, then this is the best that you can do, even if that means avoiding certain people. Set your own healthy boundaries and always know when to say NO. After all, taking more than what you know you can handle is one of the best ways to fluctuate your stress on a high level.
Alter: As I’ve mentioned, there are stressors that we cannot escape from. If a situation is unavoidable, altering is your best option. Just change the way you run your life. If you’re used to holding up your emotions, learn to speak up – or if you’re used to not speaking to keep your cool, try to be more assertive and communicative in a very open and respectful way, even if that includes compromising, because hey – it takes two to tango!
Adapt: Can’t change a stressor? Swim with it. Reframe problems and view them from a more positive perspective, like instead of getting agitated in heavy traffic, use it to listen to your favorite songs or sing in the car and enjoy some alone time. Just – always look at the bigger picture!
Accept: If all else fails and you feel like you’re left with none – you’ll be surprised as this is the most magical one. Acceptance – accepting a diagnosis of a serious illness, accepting the death of loved ones, accepting whatever’s bound to come. This could be the hardest, but in the long run – your key to healing and happiness.
3. Just get moving
This may be the last thing you probably feel like doing when you’re stressed, but physical activity is a huge stress reliever. You don’t have to be an athlete or a gym rat, to begin with – just try to start it and experience the benefits. You’ll be shocked that one day it becomes a habit and a go-to for energy and mood boost.
4. The calm in connecting
There is nothing more calming and refreshing than REALLY connecting with another human being. And when I say connecting, it doesn’t necessarily mean talking nonstop together. It could also mean just spending time together eating good food, watching a good movie, or absolutely just doing nothing and just feeling the warmth these people bring.
5. Dedicating some ALONE time
While it sounds boring to some, once you try spending time with yourself doing the things you love, you’ll get addicted to it. You will have the time to relax, reflect, and have the best conversations you can have with yourself.
ARE YOU READY?
Are you ready to maintain your stress at a minimum?
Start the action steps one by one, or access my complimentary full guide HERE.
I guess you are like most people – sometimes you feel at the top when you wake up in the morning – and sometimes you are on a low; which makes you often wonder: “How do I consistently stay at the top when I wake up and start my day positively?”
WAKING UP TIRED
You wake up tired, and your head feels heavy even if you have been sleeping, still your energy feels drained. And since we need energy in everything that we do, we feel unmotivated to move if not fueled enough with it, at the end affecting our mood.
OUR ENERGY
Talking about energy – we can’t buy it or get it from anybody else. We have to generate it ourselves through healthy living.
But how do we get enough energy?
Our sleep, what we eat, and believe it or not – our physical activity.
I know what you could possibly be thinking, that we lose energy after physical activity. And while that’s true that we get tired by working out hard, doing it correctly on the other hand builds up energy.
HOW TO GET IT RIGHT
Physical activity, when done correctly and in the right amount our body can handle, helps in building up our energy. We don’t have to do those hard workouts if we do not want to, but just simply “move our body”.
7 DIFFERENT OUTCOMES
Let’s take a look at the 7 possible different outcomes. The goal is to get you out of your couch potato mode and help you find a winning activity for a daily good mood and energy.
1.Sleep
Sleep is NOT a waste of time contrary to what some believe – it is the source of life. During sleep, we do the “housecleaning of the brain” so to speak. Memories get organized, waste products are washed out, and we get refreshed.
This also means that…
If the sleep is broken or interrupted, and not giving you the rest you really need, you will still end up waking tired.
Where does physical activity come in?
Exercising soon before bedtime disturbs the sleep hormone Melatonin, pumps our blood flow, and keeps the “alert hormones” pumping so we’re actually doing ourselves a disservice.
“What about night workouts then, is it time to say goodbye?”
Well, workouts are always better in the mornings – but if only nights work for you, at least make sure it’s not close to your bedtime.
Tip: Slow movements like evening outdoor walks help in slowing down your system and prepare you to sleep, and starting a day with either a hard workout, a brisk walk, or yoga meditation helps in setting out a good day.
2. SELF-ESTEEM
Okay, relevance?
With low self-esteem, physical activities feel hard, to begin with. It can make you feel as if every movement you make is awkward – even if it’s not.
Until you finally decide to try THAT ONE TIME, and you feel great and proud of it. You can’t explain why, but it makes it possible to think of doing it again because it made you feel good for some reason.
It does so because the regular moving of your body rewires your brain’s perception of self-confidence and respect – and you now know you are capable.
So in the end – your chosen physical activity has helped your self-belief and you have grown in the eyes yourself, and if you look back, you’ll realize that that one move you were not so confident to take before, now’s actually a part of your daily routine. Congratulations!
3. Better Focus and Memory
Now that you have boosted your self-esteem, we can see other good effects of moving your body like helping your memory and focus, all because of the endorphins released that boost your mood and sharpens your mind.
Together with the improved sleeping and lowered stress that comes with physical activity, we get all these fantastic benefits!
4. DAILY ENERGY INCREASE
As we started off to tell – “WE” are energy. And that energy can become stagnant if we just sit still, so we need to move to release the energy to make us feel alive.
“How?”
Energy is created in our mitochondria – they are our power machine and they exist in ALL our cells. They work around the clock to help us stay alive – and they create, and create energy.
Tip: The mitochondria are dependent on food intake of good quality to function at its best – so beware of what you eat…
5. HIGHER STRESS RESILIENCE
Regular exercise lowers the cortisol levels in our blood, which is a great way to increase tolerance to our life stressors.
Exercise, even at low levels, releases chemicals in our muscles that signal our brain to change. These chemicals reduce anxiety and depression and boost moods.
Tip: If you know you get overwhelmed easily, regular exercise eventually makes lasting structural brain changes that make you more resilient.
6. MOVING AS MEDITATION
Fun fact… exercise can be a meditation in itself.
I talked last week about cleaning and textile work as meditation. This is in the same system. You might think of meditation as something you need to do very regulated – almost a bit secret. But it is not!
Meditation is basically “getting into the moment” – and can be done anywhere. Focusing on your breath is a central piece of meditation and that is what you can do when you do your chosen way of meditation.
7. LOWERS DEPRESSION
Exercising is proven to be as effective as antidepressant medications. When I am working in the health care clinic, I usually prescribe a 30-minute brisk walk to my patients as their first pill.
How does it work?
Well, exercise releases feel-good hormones (endorphins), and as they flow into our blood system in larger amounts while walking, it helps in suppressing our moody feeling and we feel positive.
SUMMARY
Physical activity has an immensely good effect on so many levels in our lives.
So, get out of bed, start building the new habit of starting the day with a brisk walk or any other physical activity, and your thinking, self-esteem, memory, mood, and sleep, and more will all win big time!
WHERE TO START
There is only one right time to start and that is NOW, so what are you waiting for….?
No matter your age, gender, color, or religion – it works the same for all of us.
The investment is in you – and it will benefit you until your last breath on earth. Live while you can!
Do you know that a simple cleaning up can help you with your overwhelm??
“Sounds too good to be true” – you might say.
But believe me, when I say, it does work wonders.
HEAR ME OUT
After 2+ years of very stressful lockdown, we all thought we might get some time to relax, and get back to our normal lives again…
But then, comes the war in Europe affecting the whole world because of tensions between people and countries standing on different sides in the conflict, and also causing a lot of problems including world food shortage, and continuous price increases.
To top those things off, hearing all about the negative news happening in our world… mass shootings, monkeypox spreading, climate crisis, etc…
ALL of which can be very stressful and overwhelming – you just want them all away.
WHAT YOU’RE FAILING TO NOTICE…
What most of us fail to notice is that we tend to cope “without” doing anything. But it ain’t true – that we’re not doing anything.
We are…
CLEANING.
STRESS CLEANING, TO BE EXACT
For some reason, when we’re stressed, we notice all the mess and start cleaning them up, and the entire process of cleaning the messes up plus seeing them actually cleaned up – is therapeutic.
Be it cleaning off your kitchen, your bathrooms, your closets, or just simply organizing things – they do count in making us feel better.
Even if you start small such as focusing on your work desk, or go big and remodel your entire garden – they all matter.
And all that is no coincidence.
THAT IS HOW OUR BRAINS WORK
Our brains, so to speak, love to be in control! And when we clean and sort things out, we are in control.
The actual physical action of doing the cleaning eats up the stress hormones.
OUR STRESS HORMONES
These hormones, mainly adrenaline, noradrenaline, and cortisol, are released in stress as a way for you to use your core stress management tools fight or flight.
Remember – these are the tools you got 200,000 years ago that are still your body’s first choice weapon against stress.
To get the hormones out of our system, we need to be physically active – which we also achieve by cleaning.
So this simple cleaning act – in our own close environment – when we are stressed serves as our response to the basic biological stress system and replaces the fight or flight.
IT DOES NOT END WITH CLEANING
The cool fact is that this mechanism does not only work for cleaning your home.
It is a long-known fact that doing the dishes is a very powerful de-stress activity and works as mindfulness, and the best part is – it’s something you can use in your everyday life.
HOW THESE THINGS REDUCE STRESS
When you start to get disorganized, shaky or feel dizzy from overwhelming – go to the kitchen and clean up – do the dishes, and think of each thing you clean or put away – “this is my favorite cup, look how it shines when I clean it”.
That will help your brain to rest a moment from what stressed you out, to begin with, and you will come up with better solutions.
Science is fantastic because it has also shown that stitching and other textile work is a good method for mindfulness.
And I can certainly say that myself. I have been doing textile work for as long as I can remember.
I learned to crochet and stitch at an early age.
I sewed all my clothes during my teens.
I learned to weave in 9th grade in high school – and I was hooked.
Later in my 20-ties, I learned to weave professionally. I have 1 and a half of your education in hand weaving.
It always puts me in such a calm state sitting behind the loom and seeing the cloth, the rug, and the blanket grow in front of my eyes
CALM PROTECTS US
When we get in that calmer state and feel we have some control over our own life and situation it is so much easier to cope with all those dangers out there. We can look closer at the dangers without being afraid of them, we can think better of solutions.
We can see if there is anything we need to do – or if it just is a question of accepting.
MY FAIR SHARE
It was not until a couple of years ago that I realized that I had been working with meditation and mindfulness all my life – with my textile work. It has always been there, even just mending a rift or sewing on a new button when one fell off has felt good for me.
I have found it hard to do meditation, sit with my eyes closed, and so on. I can use what I call a mini-meditation to calm down in the moment of a stressful situation, or to relax when sitting on the train, and so on – but not as a time to just sit for longer.
And now I have realized that my textile work has worked just the same – that has been my lifelong meditation and mindfulness and it has helped me immensely in periods of great stress. Like in that time I mentioned earlier when I lost 2 dear people within one week just as I was starting my medical career. I was very productive during that time – and now I know why and can see how much it has helped.
MORE IDEAS
When you do get back in the calm mode you can maybe think of things or actions that could calm your mind a bit.
There is this saying: “Nobody can do everything but everybody can do something”
Thoughts:
Garage sale for things you cleaned out now – send the money to Ukraine???
Buy ecological food
Don’t buy things with too much packaging material
Grow your own vegetables if possible
Walk or bike instead of taking the car
Eat less meat, especially red meat
This list can be endless when you figure out what you want
Remember – any step in the right direction is a step in the right direction – so keep taking steps – even if they are small
And this will be so good for your feeling of stress and overwhelm – or anxiety or depression.
THERE’S ANOTHER WAY
Maybe you don’t feel like cleaning or moving as you just feel like staying in one corner to reflect, or even read.
Feel free to access my e-book guide on things you can explore more to easily destress at any moment.
If you tend to hold grudges, it’s time to learn to let go as letting go of your grudges lessens your stress in life and helps you achieve real happiness.
HOLDING GRUDGES
A grudge is when you have this constant feeling of resentment or ill will brought by the past memories – but in the end, up to no good.
Why? Because it constantly brings back all the negative emotions it has with it, and you feel like you’re back there all over again.
GRUDGES ARE TOXIC
Holding grudges is toxic, and at the same time – makes you toxic.
We, at some point in our lives, all have met people who deceived us, or hurt us in any way – and even after parting ways, we hold this anger or irritating feeling towards them. In the end, we get consumed by those emotions and we become toxic.
But let us face the reality.
Who loses when we hold grudges against anyone? US! Because we are allowing ourselves to lose our peace of mind from the things that are already “IN THE PAST”.
GRUDGES ARE UNHEALTHY
It’s both physically and mentally unhealthy for us to hold grudges. Grudges are like bottles full of our anger and remorse. Now when that bottle opens or breaks, we explode – and when we explode, we tend to suddenly forget what taking care of ourselves looks like.
WHY MUST WE NOT HOLD GRUDGES
If I’m going to look at some of the MANY reasons why we MUST not hold grudges… Here are my favorites:
It makes us stuck, not being able to move on.
Who wants this, right? As much as possible, we want to leave the past as it is – especially when it’s awful. But in all honesty, how are we going to do that if we can’t let go of our baggage?
It can still hurt us, BAD.
As long as we hold grudges, we’re allowing whatever or whoever to inflict the exact same amount of pain like they did the last time – and just like that, we’re back at it again, making us relive all the negative experiences over and over as if we’re in a trance.
It makes you feel like you can never trust again.
You will find it hard to trust as all you see is either black or white. You think that only two things exist: the good or the bad, forgetting that somewhere in the middle, there are a lot of beautiful reasons and possibilities.
You take it out on others.
Admit it or not, the moment you see some sign you have painted on your head after what has happened in the past – you immediately assume that everyone you see this into will automatically do the same thing to you. Hence, making you distance yourself or unconsciously be rude to them and still justify everything as an “I’m just protecting myself” kinda thing.
Sounds all bad, don’t they?
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO
Now that we’ve seen all the negative things it does to us, let’s take at our options so we can finally learn to let go of our grudges:
1. Acceptance
It already has happened, there is nothing that we can do any more or could have done, so it’s just the way that it is.
2. Forgiveness
It is admittedly hard to forgive whoever has wronged you, especially if they have done great damage.
But if I am to share a secret with you… You do not need to force yourself to forgive them, because all you need to do is…
FORGIVE YOURSELF.
Forgive yourself for letting yourself get hurt by others, or allowing them to hurt you. Forgive yourself that you failed to protect yourself from them before. Forgive yourself that you were not able to do what you think now that you should have done, let it all go… and forgive yourself.
The moment you forgive yourself fully is in reality the moment you find it easier to forgive them.
3. Remember that we are all JUST HUMANS.
We tend to get mad and irritated when we forget that we are all just humans who make wrong or bad decisions in life. Maybe they have reasons, or maybe they had no reasons and they were just in bad shape making bad decisions – regardless, we know that we have those moments too.
Maybe we overestimated them, or maybe we thought wrong of them. Whatever it is, the truth is, the majority of the disappointment always comes from people who “fail to do what we expect them to do” or people who “do what we do not expect them to do”. Let go of these, and things will be easier.
4. Do not play the role of the victim.
Now, this does not sound good at all but hear me. You are the one in control of your life, so you have the power to decide what can make you happy, and what can hurt you.
It’s time for you to tell yourself, “these types of things cannot hurt me”, and live it. Remember, YOU have the power, so do not give them an inch of it.
2 Dimensions Of Forgiveness
Forgiveness has two independent dimensions:
Intrapsychic state (letting go of inner anger and resentment), and
Interpersonal act (telling the offending person “I forgive you”).
Now, which sounds better?
Remember to always choose 1, and that the number 2 is always optional. The Intrapsychic state is for your own peace of mind. If you do not do this, you will never have peace of mind. Meanwhile, the interpersonal act may or may not benefit you – depending on how you feel. If it makes you feel better saying it, go on but if it doesn’t because you never want to be associated with the person ever again – then you do not need to.
You can always forgive silently. You are not responsible for letting them know that you do, as much as you’re never responsible for helping them break free from their personal guilt.
RELEASE YOURSELF FROM THE STRESS
All these grudges do nothing to you except stress you out.
You may have a grudge against anyone, or against yourself – but whoever it is against, it’s important for you to remember that “THE GRUDGE ONLY HURTS YOU, NOT ANYBODY ELSE”.
So in reality, it can do nothing EXCEPT hurt you more, or stress you out more.
Have you ever tried preparing an event from scratch? Oh boy, the stress was unreal, especially since we had ours during the course of the pandemic.
If you have ever heard of the WIN events all over the globe, we have organized one in Sweden!
The idea came a year before the event, and during that time, we thought that the event was still too far to worry about especially considering that there are a lot of uncertainties caused by the Corona – so my co-director and I just worked on the concept.
It was a lot of planning, organizing, and coordination! And since it’s the pandemic and couldn’t just meet ALL THE TIME – we had an online document full of scribbled notes where we “brainstorm” our ideas – and it was hard.
EVENT PREP DURING THE CORONA
Since it was still when the corona’s at its peak, we were not sure if it’s going to continue the way it’s supposed to – and we were considering having it done “hybrid” – like a limited number of people at the actual event site but then virtually for the rest.
So then, came more stress: How do we do that, who will be our tech person? It’s “one more thing” to think about!
Then from there, a never-ending story…
OUR BIGGEST CONCERN
In all honesty, the biggest worry was if people are going to have fun, or if they will feel included or end up just sitting at the corner and being grumpy.
Also, there were worries like, “Are these all good enough?”
It was really hard… because you prepare for an event but at the same time it’s hard for you to weigh whether it’s enough or not – and it’s scary to think whether the event will end up well – such as people REALLY enjoying it.
THE BIGGEST SURPRISE
The biggest surprise…
Is that during the course of the promotion we’re not getting many people as we originally planned to have? There were many disappointments and I didn’t know whether to move the event date or shut it all down.
WRITE IT ALL ON PAPER
The moment I wrote everything down on paper and have it right there where it’s all clear is also the moment that I came to my senses: “I’m not gonna shut it down nor I am going to move the date. I already have it planned and we’re going to have it done beautifully for us. No matter how many come, it’s going to happen”.
THE SWEET ENDING
There may not be as many attendees as originally planned, but everyone came with joy and laughter.
There was never a dull moment at the event, and everyone was so full of spirit. Everyone basically was having fun!
THE UNEXPECTED TWIST
Who would have known that not getting the number we planned actually made things great as people who came felt more appreciated and included, as they loved how the event felt “very intimate”.
MY PIECE OF ADVICE
While good planning is a must, do not frown if things go sideways – as, in the end, you do not know what these things can do.
EVENT PREPARATION LEARNING
The thing that I have learned in this journey and will surely do next time is to plan with reverse engineering. So if I wanted on that specific date, I’ll look at the things I need to do, the latest I can do them, and look backward: Which step am I in right now?
You need to figure out who you are, how many you want, how hard is it, and what’s the subject you’re doing because that can differ in how many people will come.
FOR THE NEXT EVENT
It’s very vital that for the next event, one must have an idea of what people or where will these people come from, because without knowing the right audience, we cannot target them correctly.
MENTAL LOAD READY
Aside from being all prepared for your audience during event planning and preparation, you must also be mentally prepared for the huge load of responsibilities you’re just about to take.
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