You know how when it comes to success and other things, most people say it’s all about the mindset? It works the same with stress management. Mindset can also be key.
And while sometimes it seems that you have nothing else to do about the amount of stress you experience – regardless of its source, there actually are a ton of steps you can take to help you regain control of your emotions.
But first…
WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO MANAGE STRESS?
It might not seem like it or maybe it just doesn’t cross your mind… but constantly living with a high amount of stress level puts you and your well-being at risk by jeopardizing both emotional and sometimes, even physical health too.
Stress is annoying, it makes you feel like you’re out of control – and you feel like there’s an endless to-do list and there’s not enough time – plus the fact that you’re distracted due to the stress that you’re feeling… it’s all becoming a blur.
You make more mistakes or you keep re-doing things because you have less focus, you make bad or unthought-out decisions, or you feel like you just can’t function at all.
BUT YOU HAVE CONTROL, YOU JUST HAVE TO LEARN HOW
Yes, you can regain control – you always have it within you. You just have to learn how to tap on it whenever you need to.
It is in how you reframe your MINDSET, and before you think of anything I just want to say – I understand if you mistrust me here but hear me out first.
STRESS MANAGEMENT KICKS IN…
Helping you get out of that negative spiral and find a positive spiral. Where your ultimate goal may be to get a balanced life, get enough time for your work and family, and have fun things – all of it. And you will be more resilient to hurdles along the way.
And, IT IS IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER…
There is no one-size-fits-all solution in this so you have to figure out what YOU need.
Here are a few tips and tricks to choose froM
1. Identifying what stresses you out – in your life.
When you know your stress triggers, it will be easier to avoid them, or even address them once you’re ready.
2. Having and keeping a stress diary at hand.
A great way to start is to make a stress diary. When writing things down, they become clearer in our minds. We can look at the whole picture and compare and re-organize until we feel – this is how it is!
A stress diary can be made with a structure where you in boxes write about situations – feelings around the situations – how you have tried to solve them before – and the result.
3. Being true to yourself.
The most important thing when identifying and reflecting on your emotions is to always keep it real by being true to yourself, and a way to do that is to accept your feelings and approach them from a third-party perspective by trying to separate emotions from decisions, so you can think rationally and without bias caused by emotions.
Getting those out of your way can make a world of difference.
4. Identifying what helps in making you feel better.
When you have identified your stressors and have noticed you started to feel better, immediately try to track or figure out what helped in making you feel better. Having this at hand can really change too much before you start dwelling on more negative thinking.
ALWAYS REMEMBER, THOUGH...
Stress is an automatic response in our systems – and these responses come whether we want them or not.
Sometimes, or most of the time, they come at the most unexpected times so knowing how to deal with them is really needed.
In addition to the above…
Here are 4 actions you can take when a stressor comes:
1. Avoid & Learn to Say No
This is good to do when we talk about toxic people.
On the other hand, it is not advisable to avoid things that need to be addressed because then they will become limiting beliefs in you. So it’s still crucial to know which are to be avoided and which are to be solved, and to do that, reflect on the pros and cons.
2. Alter was the second word
Finding ways to alter your behavior and actions can help you move on. Compromise, and who knows, maybe you can find new ways or some other way to make things work better.
3. Adapt.
If you can’t change the situation you have to change yourself to get a new result. Look at the bigger picture and identify what is important or what needs to be changed vs. what needs to be accepted and adjusted.
4. Accept
Acceptance is one of our prime stress management tools. If you can’t change things, you just need to accept and that is how it is – accepting that you can do nothing about that fact except you can change your mind about it and find other ways.
TAKE A BREAK, PAUSE & BREATHE
When things are hard, go back to the basics… which is to take a break so you can pause, relax and breathe.
Look and focus on the good things and find ways to grow. When you’re refreshed, you’ll find it easier to think.
FORGIVE…
Forgive – yourself and others.
Always keep in mind that in this life and even in the next, everyone makes mistakes and some of those mistakes may affect us. Try to free yourself from that negative energy and move on, as it is not worth it to go down that pit hole…
TRY SAYING YOUR FEELINGS OUT LOUD
Put words on your feelings, as saying them out loud can help make you feel so much better than just letting the thoughts stay in your mind.
Talk to friends you trust – or with a therapist if you feel it is too personal to share with your tribe.
Another great help if stress creeps up on you…
is to start MOVING YOUR BODY.
Moving eats stress hormones as the stress hormones are then used as energy.
At the same time, moving creates energy that enlightens your brain toward positivity. With that, comes clearer thinking because of the gift we got then back 200,000 years ago.
SMILING HELPS
Smiling helps as it gives you the “feel-good” hormones. It is contagious and can make people feel good too when they see you smile — and because of the mirror neuron theory… It creates a ripple effect.
DON’T LOSE YOUR SENSE OF HUMOUR.
Laugh if you can and when you can, even if that means laughing at yourself, and lastly…
TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOUR HEALTH
Because our mind, body, and souls remain connected inside us.
And as you notice…
I always come back to the mindset over and over again…
“Sleep is for the week”, “Who needs sleep when you have coffee”, “I have many things to do, 5-6 hours of sleep is enough for me”– let’s stop patronizing these ideas, they’re not good for our bodies and never good for our health.
But how many hours of sleep do our bodies really need?
HOURS OF SLEEP PER AGE
0-3 months: up to 18 hours
4-11 months: 12-15 hours
1-2 years old: 11-14 hours
3-5 years old: 10-13 hours
6-13 years old: 9-11 hours
14-17 years old: 8-10 hours
18-25 years old: 7-9 hours
26-64 years old: 7-9 hours
65+ years old: 7-8 hours
The above is a guide or a framework we can use as a guide to how many hours of sleep we need according to our age.
But, it’s important to remember that like in everything else, when it comes to sleep…
THERE IS ALSO NO ONE SIZE FITS ALL SOLUTION
But how is that, if the sleep hours are clearly stated?
My explanation here would be simple. Our everyday life doesn’t look the same, so one person might be needing to do too many strenuous activities, forcing the body to need MORE rest than normal – you get the point.
So…
HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU’RE GETTING ENOUGH SLEEP?
Well, it’s time you reflect and ask yourself every time – or have a journal or some sleep tracker. When you wake up and you feel good, track how many hours of sleep you had, and when you wake up feeling tired… also track how many hours of sleep you had.
Recognize your own body’s pattern and listen to what it’s telling you. If you feel tired every day even after sleeping 7 hours, then maybe your body needs 8. And if you feel good and energized, then try practicing sleeping that right amount.
IT’S IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER…
We have to complete all 3 stages of sleep in one night: Light, wherein our eyes are closed but still too easily to be woken up, REM, which happens after about 90 minutes of falling asleep, where our eyes still move (rapid eye movement) while closed and where most dreams occur, and Deep sleep, where our brain waves have slowed down and it’s harder to wake us up.
And yes just in case you’re wondering, it’s also normal to wake up several times during the night. Just don’t do anything that can disrupt your melatonin like checking your phone or something to not make it hard for yourself to get back to sleep.
THE RISK OF SLEEPING LESS & SLEEPING MORE
Studies show that sleeping less than 6 hours a day increases the risk of Alzheimer’s, heart & blood vessel illnesses, and some kinds of cancer, and obesity for the younger ones.
On the other hand, sleeping more than 9 hours increases the risk of some types of cancer too. Which means… The safest thing to say is at about 7-8 hours of sleep every day, to have the lowest risk of getting these illnesses.
IMPORTANCE OF GETTING THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF SLEEP
Aside from being on the safer side of all illnesses… sleep has so many positive effects so we must keep up with our brains, their functions, and their processes.
Scientists have also shown before that when we sleep, some kind of cleaning process happens in our body, like getting the “waste” products out of our body.
TO SUM IT UP
Wrapping it up, and feeling what works for your body’s needs while sticking to the framework as a guide… is our safest bet to getting the right amount of sleep our body needs.
It’s not every day we get a good night’s sleep… sometimes even after sleeping a complete 8 hours, we wake up feeling bad. So, how do we make sure we get a good night’s sleep?
HAVING A BEDTIME RITUAL
“Okay, time to go to sleep!”
Here’s a question for you, sleepy head…
Do you usually prepare before bedtime or do you just rush into bed, close your eyes and wait for the sandman to come?
If you say rushing… Science shows that for most people the best is to prepare for sleep by winding down, at least by making that last hour different from your rushed everyday time.
So yes, a bedtime ritual…
THE WRONG WAY…
Many people, many, many people watch TV right before bed, thinking it’s their way of “winding down”…
Well, kudos for at least recognizing the need to wind down. However, If this is you, I also feel the need to tell you that studies show that turning the tv on before bedtime disrupts sleep cycles as anything that stimulates the brain before bed may be detrimental to one’s ability to fall asleep.
If that works for you with no issues at all, great! But for those who don’t…
HERE ARE A FEW GUIDELINES TO STICK TO
Take an hour before going to wind down and make it a ritual – the same every evening so that your brain will eventually recognize it as a signal to bedtime.
SOME GOOD THINGS TO TRY
Taking a quick hot shower
Taking a hot shower hours before bed helps in reducing our inner body’s temperature, which helps in making us fall asleep at night. We can also put on some thick socks and get our hands warm, then just relax in a dimmed-lit room after showering.
Avoiding too much movement
No hard exercise before bedtime, or anything that can stimulate happy hormones. That won’t make us feel sleepy, right?
Instead of going for the hard workout, opt for soft yoga and stretching, to feel relaxed in preparation for bedtime.
Diving into your book before sleep helps you feel relaxed – as long as you don’t choose exciting, or hardcore thriller books that will give you the opposite effect.
Playing some mellow music
There is no question about music’s magic, ever. Choosing the right music does wonders, all the time – even if it’s for getting sleepy.
Those are the good things I personally can recommend, and in case you’re wondering where the alcohol goes in the list…
We’re talking about getting a good night’s sleep – not getting the “sleepy” feeling because yes, the right amount of alcohol can make you sleepy, but it doesn’t give you a good restorative sleep.
So if you want a good resting sleep, avoid alcohol just as you would avoid screen as it suppresses our sleep hormones melatonin.
So to answer your question, yes – choose the soft, boring, relaxing activities to wind down and wake up feeling refreshed the day after.
That mindful eating actually help you decrease your stress levels?
YES! There are best eating habits out there for less stress.
STICK WITH A REGULAR EATING HABIT
We need to stick with what’s right for our bodies, which is what our bodies are looking for or have adapted biologically from our late ancestors.
And what exactly is that?
Some trivia… During the Savannah, our ancestors don’t eat at night and had to eat during the day because of survival reasons – so at night, they sleep.
Slowly, our bodies have evolved so that we eat even at night, but not to the extent that we eat MANY, and LATE at night.
THE 3:1 MODEL
3 main meals a day (breakfast, lunch, supper), and one snack!
Following the 3:1 model is healthy and helps our system. As a Doctor, this is not really strict but advised to be followed. In fact, you can snack more than 1 time, as long as you keep your snacks healthy (fruits, oats), and not the known energy boosters that in reality hijack energy (chocolates, sugar)!
Feel free to have nuts too, they’re good for protein intake! So really, a little bit of everything as long as you chunk on some really good food and not junk.
In Sweden, we use…
The plate model – or basically means that we fill out plates by percentage: 25% protein, 37% carbs, and 37% vegetables.
But that doesn’t work for everybody.
Some people prefer to get a higher protein intake than carbohydrates and I totally get it, so yes, feel free to play with the percentage (as long as it’s not all carbs), and find whatever works for you! Just make sure to include variety. 😉
And oh, skip the processed foods with too many chemicals and add-ons – they trigger our immune system and can give us low-grade inflammation. Bet we wouldn’t want that, right?
REMEMBER THE 12-HOUR RULE
The 12-hour rule in eating means that you must eat your last meal of the day 12 hours before you plan to eat your first meal for the next day. Say dinner at 6 PM, then breakfast at 6 AM – so when you eat your dinner at 6 PM, that means nothing more else in the evening after that.
This 12-hour technique helps us to maintain a healthy digestion and bowel system.
AND YES, IT’S OKAY…
It’s okay to mess up with the schedule sometimes. That won’t hurt you. What’s important is as long as this is what you’d do MOST TIMES.
WHAT IF YOU WORK AT NIGHT?
I know this is close to impossible to apply to those who work at night because being awake at night means you have to eat at night too.
Just apply the same rules -> 12 hours before meals, eat a variety, and have proper rest too!
You probably have heard about daily journaling many times, as it’s a frequent subject of discussions about personal growth. The question is, why?
DAILY JOURNALING WORKS
Yes, if the question is why then the simple answer is BECAUSE IT WORKS.
Let me ask you a quick question:
“Do you journal?”
Have you answered yes? Great! Have you answered no? Maybe you must start trying.
Do you know what another answer we frequently get for this question aside from a simple yes/no?
“I know I should, but no I don’t.”
Interesting, right?
HOW YOU CAN JOURNAL AS A HABIT
Most people – at least in the business world, say that they know they should do journaling as a daily habit as it would be good for their business, but still end up not doing it.
I’d say…
The very first thing to do is just get a pen and a notebook, and start writing even without much thinking – just let your thoughts flow. Believe me, you’ll be amazed!
Also… a tip: Refrain from using the word “should”, as we know that when we use it, we most of the time end up not doing them, because of how the thoughts enter our subconscious. Instead, let’s tell ourselves: WE HAVE TO – so our subconscious won’t end up having too many excuses.
WHY SOME PEOPLE DON’T JOURNAL
Going back to what I mentioned, the answer here would be as simple as: They don’t know where or how to start.
Why? Because before they even begin to write they think of things like:
“I’m no writer”.
Or
“I feel like my thoughts are too complicated”.
But hey…
Let go of those thoughts because they don’t make sense in journaling.
In journaling, you don’t need to be a professional writer – that ain’t the goal of that. It ain’t not for publishing, yeah?
Same as if you feel your thoughts are too complicated… exactly why you must write them down! Know how things suddenly become so organized after writing them down and being able to clearly ponder? That’s also how it is in journaling.
So again, just let go… And just start writing. 🙂
WHY DO JOURNALING?
Journaling helps you organize your thoughts – helping you make more conscious decisions. It’s a tool to find YOUR WHY, sort your feelings, comes up with new ideas, discovers yourself and your inner being… and many more!
Plus, you’ll realize how much of a big help it actually is when you have something to come back to and reflect on. You’ll see your personal progress, you’ll see how far you’ve come by, and you’ll see things you still need to improve and work on.
TIPS ON WHAT TO WRITE
If you are a beginner or just planning to start journaling soon and looking for ideas to write about… Here are some:
1. Your Activities + Feelings
What have you been up to recently? How did you feel about them? What did you enjoy the most or what bored you to death?
2. Significant Events + Your Reactions
What happened today? Are there things that made you feel happy or sad? Were there words uttered you liked or didn’t like hearing? Were there sudden changes? How did you react?
3. Future Plans + Essential Steps to Take
What do you plan for yourself in the next 3, 5, or 7 years from now? What are the necessary steps to achieve them? Does the current thing you’re doing resonate with your future plans?
You can start with those 3 things for now, and see how they affect you personally. You’ll be surprised how those simple things can help make you realize huge things!
Also, make it fun! Don’t force yourself to sit endlessly long with your journaling… So if you get tired of it after 10 minutes – just stop without guilt. 😉
Coaching, mentoring, and being in peer groups… if you’re not into it, they almost seem like they’re just “gimmicks” – and unnecessary, but they have more benefits than you can imagine, especially for business growth and success.
NO MAN IS AN ISLAND
We all heard the saying, “No man is an island.” As human beings, we thrive and do better in life by being with others. We need to be part of a community. No one is self-sufficient; everyone relies on others.
This is especially important when you are a leader or in a business. You make tons of vital decisions daily and you can’t always do that by yourself. I mean we are humans at the end of the day, right?
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A COACH AND A MENTOR
Coaches and mentors both ask the questions necessary for your growth – or if I may say, the questions we never thought we needed.
The difference, however, lies within their processes.
Coaches just need to know the processes and have the right questions so that they can drag the answers out from you (that’s their job) so that you feel that you are moving forward!
Mentors, on the other hand, mentally use the knowledge and expertise that they have in their field of specialty in order to provide advice & guidance to their mentees.
TAKING ME AS AN EXAMPLE
Let’s take me as an example. What do you take me for? Well, personally, I call myself a mentor rather than a coach because when faced with multiple different scenarios – I sometimes use my medical knowledge to see what is most profitable, or at least what’s most healthy for you from a “biological perspective.”
But how do you know how to find the coach or mentor you need?
FINDING THE RIGHT COACH AND MENTOR FOR YOU
You need a mentor that is better than you – someone who has more knowledge,
As a client, you don’t always need to know the answer for yourself – the mentor or the coach will help you decide what to do.
That’s why you need someone that you can trust and rely on – a mentor or coach that is not involved in your life and not someone you really know to avoid bias, so you can dare to ask hard questions and receive hard answers.
You want to succeed, and sometimes it’s not that easy… So you need someone who is better, and you need someone who is not dependent on you or vice versa on the personal side or on the business side.
ALSO, CONSIDER A PEER GROUP…
Another significant piece of advice to consider is to have a peer group. It can be both in business and personal life too!
Having like-minded people who are on the same wavelength as you bring you vibrant energy and also enhances your knowledge of the world.
PEER GROUP AS A MASTERMIND GROUP
“Birds of the same feathers flock together”.
We’re all familiar with that saying and I also call them the “Masterminds”…
Because we finish each other’s sentences and because we have more than one brain in the circle we actually learn so much more. Two or more heads are better than one, right?
ADDITIONAL BENEFITS OF HAVING A PEER GROUP
Broadening your horizons
Pulling each other up instead of dragging each other down
Positivity that radiates
Celebrating one another’s wins
Growing together
Solid support system
And if you feel like you’re not getting these benefits… then it just means this very one thing: You are in the wrong peer group.
Having both a mentor and peer group is key to living a better life whether it be business or personal. Surrounding yourself with goal-orientated and experienced people who are striving to better themselves will inspire you to do the same.
YOU CAN START NOW
If you’re determined to start today, you can do so! Check HERE and let’s both find out if we’re a good fit!
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