What is your most burning question about stress as a business leader?
You go to work every day. That is where you spend most of your awake time, especially if you are the boss. Shouldn’t that be feeling good, or even great most of the time?
Does it? Be honest with yourself.
Remember my last blog post, stating that 26% of the leadership felt uneasy about going to work, and over 40% in the tax paid systems workplaces.
Sad. Isn’t it? And scary.
Some years ago I asked a group of leaders: “What is your most burning question about stress?“
I got A LOT of interesting questions. And this one is not solvable in the easy way BUT it certainly needs to be addressed:
The question that I got was: “What can I do when the stress is not caused by me but by someone else who puts me in that situation?”
Honestly, it’s not very uncommon. We hear people most of the time complaining about something they didn’t even cause.
“I can’t control my situation! It’s absolutely unmanageable! My boss puts all the problems on my shoulders! My employees don’t do what they are supposed to! I always end up doing everything! My spouse has unrealistic expectations, and someone else always puts me in an overload!”
“I feel like a victim. The overload is killing me.”
Sounds familiar?
Okay, don’t get me wrong. Those situations are definitely normal. There is no quick fix or a one-for-all kind of solution as there will always be different solutions for everyone.
BUT what I can see, is the SAME PATTERN in all of them. You feel the threat from someone else’s problems – one way or another.
One step to clarity is to write about it. Laying it all down is a very good way to get clear on things, and you need it to know why things happen over and over again.
It is not about blaming yourself or someone else, but it is about the fact of what is. Put down all the pluses and minuses you find, and then organize them into themes. Ponder and rearrange if needed.
Depending on what pops up, the next step will be different for each and one of you.
It could be to talk to the person you find “dumping” their world on you. That could be your boss, your colleagues, your spouse, or whoever it was who did not see the pattern.
On the other hand, you might need to take drastic actions such as leaving your job or your spouse. Because you can not change them, you can only change yourself. If things end up in much more drastic actions, it might be good to ask for help.
The next question is completely different: “Is stress aging me? I feel like I aged 10 years last year! I feel tired like an old man/woman and I am still just in my thirties.”
The short answer is – YEP.
The longer version is yes, probably – if you are stressed for a long time. Short moments of stress are part of natural life. In fact, no one can claim they are never stressed, or they are lying.
Consequently, long-term stress will affect your immune system and cause many diseases, including bad skin, making you look older!
Also, it puts you at risk to get cardiovascular disease, stroke, hypertension, obesity to name a few. And not to mention, depression.
The #1 solution to this question is:Take breaks, lots of short breaks every day, or a long break in a month. Let your brain rest and your body relax and you will keep your stress hormone levels on a normal, healthy level – then you can function smoothly again. And you will get just as much done since you will do it right the first time.
The last question I want to share today is connected with the previous question: “Can I recover from long-term stress and regain my health?”
The answer to this is also YES.
Yes, you can recover and of course, it depends on how long it has been going on and if you have developed any irreversible damage. BUT IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS – you can REGAIN YOUR HEALTH and you can at least stop the progress of the chronic disease.
A medicine may or may not be a pill, but meditation is always medicine.
Today I want to talk about THAT medicine.
It is scientifically proven that meditation can benefit your brain by increasing focus; reducing stress, anxiety, and depression; improving memory, emotional awareness, and OVERALL HAPPINESS.
Doesn’t that sound like a good pill to take?
I have to admit though – it took me many years to understand this fact.
Being born in the 50s, I was a teenager during the Flower-Power years. I loved The Beatles! John was my favorite, and I still have all my vinyl records tucked away in a safe space.
In my world, I could not understand why there was so much hush-hush around it. You had to pay big money to learn the art of meditation and you got your private mantra – A MANTRA NEVER TO BE TOLD TO SOMEONE ELSE – or else…
BAD THINGS WOULD HAPPEN TO YOU.
Yes, that was the “story”.
I personally, was more into science and was repelled by the mysticism that was built up around the business – which was big that time.
Years went by and I did not think about meditation at all.
UNTIL ONE DAY, in 2015 – I attended a big event in California about “Building Your Online Business”, as I had started my own business ‘AskDrAnnika‘ a few years earlier and was ready to go global.
There were around 900 people in the room, and the session was about “Taking Good Care of Yourself While Working Online”.
He said: “NOW WE WILL MEDITATE TOGETHER”.
I WAS STARTLED.
My first thought was: “You are crazy, I don’t have a mantra and I guess most people don’t have one”.
Then he asks: “How many of you meditate?” and about 100 HANDS went up. That confirmed my suspicions – he was crazy to do meditation with just that small group of people.
BUT THEN he said: “We will all do this together. We will use the word ‘RELEASE’. Close your eyes and repeat the word SLOWLY OUT LOUD, if you can.”
And we all sat there, eyes closed, slowly repeating the word ‘RELEASE’ for 10 minutes.
AND IT WORKED!
Since that day, I use meditation as a tool in my de-stress work toolkit. Not my ‘teenage version’ of hush-hush and big business – BUT AS A FREE TOOL TO USE FOR ANYONE.
One of the most studied BENEFITS of meditation is STRESS RELIEF. It even relieves anxiety and can even boost your immune system.
THINK OF IT LIKE THIS:
“Your brain is a computer, with many windows and programs open at the same time. Meditation helps you close out windows you don’t need and use for the moment.”
That way, you can focus on what is essential and you will PERFORM ON A HIGHER LEVEL.
Today, I know there are a ton of different ways to meditate, and we all have different preferences. There is the “Breathing Anchor”, “Mantras”, “Guided Meditations”, or just simple walking, coloring, painting, stitching, or other textile handicraft.
You just need to find out what works for you.
I myself am a fan of textile handicraft meditational effects, and I have been doing textile projects all my life like weaving, sewing, stitching, and so on. So I, for one, am a witness to its calming effects.
I now encourage you to now TAKE A SHORT BREAK before you scoot on to your next thing.
Close your eyes and say the word “RELEASE” slowly for a few minutes, and may the rest of your day thereafter be calm, effective, and fun.
If you liked this – GET MORE EFFECTIVE TOOLS HERE.
People who feel gratitude are helpful in handling stress are faster to recuperate from disease. They often have better health – like normal blood pressure and good immune response, and they feel happier!
I guess that you too, as a business leader, would love to have all that.
And that means that “Gratitude” is a very good leadership tool too. If feeling gratitude makes you feel well and less stressed – why not take advantage of this fact?
A great idea would be to start a gratitude challenge in your workgroup.
You as the leader, the boss must go first – in the front line. That is where the worriers need to be.
This is double important now in Coronavirus attack time. After many weeks of restrictions your staff has probably been struggling with either:
a) working from home and feeling lonely, not seen and not appreciated; or
b) coming to the workplace with the fear of being infected and trying to hide as much as possible.
Neither of those scenarios makes your staff grow and perform at their best level. I am not saying they do not do a good job but it is not at top-notch.
This “Gratitude Challenge” will BOOST THEIR ENERGY – AND YOURS as a leader.
Challenge them and yourself to do something everyday that leans towards GRATITUDE – and share with each other. It is a win-win in eternity.
Here are a few things you can do:
Send a short Gratitude message to a coworker.
Make a physical “Wall of Gratitude” in the office; or make one online – where everyone can contribute. Set the rules to “just for positive cheering, no complaints here”.
Write DAILY the 3 things you are grateful for, ESPECIALLY during times of hardship.
Write a positive testimonial to a valuable deliverer or business partner.
Send a real postcard to someone you are grateful for. Put a real stamp on it and send it.
Donate to a charity you like. The need in the world is so immense right now, and helping is one of the best ways to increase your own wellbeing.
Ponder about your leadership – is there anything you can do differently that can benefit someone else at the same time?
Send flowers or maybe a lunch to someone in your staff that you know suffers extra right now.
These are a few actions you can take to BOOST your own wellbeing. I am sure you can think of many other good ways too.
Doing good and being kind to others produces feel-good hormones in your brain. That makes you feel better.
On the other hand, the person at the other end of your gift feels seen and appreciated – producing feel-good hormones in their brains too.
If both YOU and your STAFF get FEEL-GOOD HORMONES – YOU WILL TOGETHER PRODUCE BETTER RESULTS for your clients – making them happy and ordering more from you which increases your revenue.
This makes the gratitude way of doing things one of the most effective business and leadership tools we have – and a beautiful way to LESS STRESS too.
Also, making it a challenge for your staff will make their well-being boosted too that can cause RIPPLE EFFECTS all over the place.
What are you waiting for? Just start right now with a big smile and a nice word to the person next to you!
Feels good, doesn’t it?
If you want personal help to get started – send a message here to connect
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