Is it even possible? To be able to manage stress every day in our lives, or before they even come?
If you ever wondered whether quick fixes work better as they’re usually easier, you might want to reconsider and look for long-term changes as well, as working on both ends has better chances of helping you live a good life.
FACT: STRESS IS, AND WILL ALWAYS BE PART OF OUR LIVES.
Yes, it’s part of us, and part of what biologically makes us. It’s a biological reaction we can never lock out. It’s been there and always comes knocking when we cannot meet life’s current demands.
WHAT CAN WE DO?
Instead of trying to get rid of the stress in our system, because it literally won’t ever happen, we just have to learn to “keep” the stress levels at “NORMAL LEVEL”.
The stress that we feel only happens when our stress levels are above what our bodies naturally need.
SO HOW DO WE KEEP OUR STRESS LEVELS NORMAL?
From my own experience of tragic deaths happening together with work overload and life overload in general, the days when I was lost… and as a Certified Stress Strategist and a Doctor, here are the things that can really help you:
1. THE HERE AND NOW
“What does that even mean?”
The Here and Now is a skill really helpful to use during raging stress levels. It simply means keeping your focus “at the very moment” you’re in, like instead of thinking the what ifs after the fact, you just pause, take deep breaths, and take a good look at WHERE YOU’RE AT.
Doing so prevents you from having anxiety or panic attacks.
Some people have this naturally within them, but to some, it takes a lot of practice.
Starting slowly with daily practice of 3-5 minutes of mini-meditation or breathing exercises, and then slowly increasing the time to 10 minutes and so on, helps.
2. THE LONG TERM
Focusing on the here and now is what can help you the moment you’re experiencing stress. But when you have calmed down, you must also get to the “root cause” of your stress.
What triggered you? What stressed you out? Is there something you can do about it to change it? Are there necessary changes you can make in order to avoid the trigger long-term, or forever if it can be controlled?
Getting to the root cause or the trigger, and making changes so that the trigger doesn’t often happen, will help you avoid the same experience again.
THE LONG-TERM TOOLKIT
As I mentioned stress is and will always be part of our lives, I also have seen a pattern and the 3 things that matter in your long-term toolkit.
Mindset: Are you mentally prepared to make the changes you need to make? Because if you’re not, you won’t act on it.
Energy: One key thing in preventing attacks is living healthy, as it’s a good source of energy. We know how draining it is for our energy to deal with stress.
Your External Platform: You have a world outside your body, and it matters in the long term. Keep good acquaintances, those that are mentally and emotionally healthy for you, not an additional cause of stress.
WHAT THE NEUROSCIENCE SAYS
Neuroscience is clear: We are wired to be mono-taskers, Our brain cannot effectively concentrate on more than one thought at a time, and it better be an active thought by you than an amygdala hijack moment. After that micro-rest, you will feel calmer and more effective.
Hence, the here and now or the “at the moment” actions mentioned above, as it helps in resting your brain from your problem for a few seconds..
And it doesn’t even cost a penny! You just have to see the clearer, bigger picture – then when calm enough, tackle the root cause.
And don’t forget about…
INCREASING YOUR ENERGY
Increasing your energy, or raising your potential capacity is necessary because with more energy, you’ll be able to do more without getting stressed.
But if it’s just too much… Don’t forget the practical tips too, such as:
Delegating tasks/outsourcing
Sleeping, eating, & exercising for health and happy hormones
SOUNDS ALL EASY, UNTIL YOU NEED TO ACTUALLY DO THEM
It all sounds so easy, doesn’t it? But then why is it hard to do it consistently?
BONUS
Try journaling.
Yes, maybe play some music in the background and just start writing things down.
Writing helps you to be able to reflect more, plan more, and even release more. Jotting down things that stress you out, your goals, where you’re currently at, your action plan, and your emotions…
“Sleep is for the week”, “Who needs sleep when you have coffee”, “I have many things to do, 5-6 hours of sleep is enough for me”– let’s stop patronizing these ideas, they’re not good for our bodies and never good for our health.
But how many hours of sleep do our bodies really need?
HOURS OF SLEEP PER AGE
0-3 months: up to 18 hours
4-11 months: 12-15 hours
1-2 years old: 11-14 hours
3-5 years old: 10-13 hours
6-13 years old: 9-11 hours
14-17 years old: 8-10 hours
18-25 years old: 7-9 hours
26-64 years old: 7-9 hours
65+ years old: 7-8 hours
The above is a guide or a framework we can use as a guide to how many hours of sleep we need according to our age.
But, it’s important to remember that like in everything else, when it comes to sleep…
THERE IS ALSO NO ONE SIZE FITS ALL SOLUTION
But how is that, if the sleep hours are clearly stated?
My explanation here would be simple. Our everyday life doesn’t look the same, so one person might be needing to do too many strenuous activities, forcing the body to need MORE rest than normal – you get the point.
So…
HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU’RE GETTING ENOUGH SLEEP?
Well, it’s time you reflect and ask yourself every time – or have a journal or some sleep tracker. When you wake up and you feel good, track how many hours of sleep you had, and when you wake up feeling tired… also track how many hours of sleep you had.
Recognize your own body’s pattern and listen to what it’s telling you. If you feel tired every day even after sleeping 7 hours, then maybe your body needs 8. And if you feel good and energized, then try practicing sleeping that right amount.
IT’S IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER…
We have to complete all 3 stages of sleep in one night: Light, wherein our eyes are closed but still too easily to be woken up, REM, which happens after about 90 minutes of falling asleep, where our eyes still move (rapid eye movement) while closed and where most dreams occur, and Deep sleep, where our brain waves have slowed down and it’s harder to wake us up.
And yes just in case you’re wondering, it’s also normal to wake up several times during the night. Just don’t do anything that can disrupt your melatonin like checking your phone or something to not make it hard for yourself to get back to sleep.
THE RISK OF SLEEPING LESS & SLEEPING MORE
Studies show that sleeping less than 6 hours a day increases the risk of Alzheimer’s, heart & blood vessel illnesses, and some kinds of cancer, and obesity for the younger ones.
On the other hand, sleeping more than 9 hours increases the risk of some types of cancer too. Which means… The safest thing to say is at about 7-8 hours of sleep every day, to have the lowest risk of getting these illnesses.
IMPORTANCE OF GETTING THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF SLEEP
Aside from being on the safer side of all illnesses… sleep has so many positive effects so we must keep up with our brains, their functions, and their processes.
Scientists have also shown before that when we sleep, some kind of cleaning process happens in our body, like getting the “waste” products out of our body.
TO SUM IT UP
Wrapping it up, and feeling what works for your body’s needs while sticking to the framework as a guide… is our safest bet to getting the right amount of sleep our body needs.
Have you ever tried preparing an event from scratch? Oh boy, the stress was unreal, especially since we had ours during the course of the pandemic.
If you have ever heard of the WIN events all over the globe, we have organized one in Sweden!
The idea came a year before the event, and during that time, we thought that the event was still too far to worry about especially considering that there are a lot of uncertainties caused by the Corona – so my co-director and I just worked on the concept.
It was a lot of planning, organizing, and coordination! And since it’s the pandemic and couldn’t just meet ALL THE TIME – we had an online document full of scribbled notes where we “brainstorm” our ideas – and it was hard.
EVENT PREP DURING THE CORONA
Since it was still when the corona’s at its peak, we were not sure if it’s going to continue the way it’s supposed to – and we were considering having it done “hybrid” – like a limited number of people at the actual event site but then virtually for the rest.
So then, came more stress: How do we do that, who will be our tech person? It’s “one more thing” to think about!
Then from there, a never-ending story…
OUR BIGGEST CONCERN
In all honesty, the biggest worry was if people are going to have fun, or if they will feel included or end up just sitting at the corner and being grumpy.
Also, there were worries like, “Are these all good enough?”
It was really hard… because you prepare for an event but at the same time it’s hard for you to weigh whether it’s enough or not – and it’s scary to think whether the event will end up well – such as people REALLY enjoying it.
THE BIGGEST SURPRISE
The biggest surprise…
Is that during the course of the promotion we’re not getting many people as we originally planned to have? There were many disappointments and I didn’t know whether to move the event date or shut it all down.
WRITE IT ALL ON PAPER
The moment I wrote everything down on paper and have it right there where it’s all clear is also the moment that I came to my senses: “I’m not gonna shut it down nor I am going to move the date. I already have it planned and we’re going to have it done beautifully for us. No matter how many come, it’s going to happen”.
THE SWEET ENDING
There may not be as many attendees as originally planned, but everyone came with joy and laughter.
There was never a dull moment at the event, and everyone was so full of spirit. Everyone basically was having fun!
THE UNEXPECTED TWIST
Who would have known that not getting the number we planned actually made things great as people who came felt more appreciated and included, as they loved how the event felt “very intimate”.
MY PIECE OF ADVICE
While good planning is a must, do not frown if things go sideways – as, in the end, you do not know what these things can do.
EVENT PREPARATION LEARNING
The thing that I have learned in this journey and will surely do next time is to plan with reverse engineering. So if I wanted on that specific date, I’ll look at the things I need to do, the latest I can do them, and look backward: Which step am I in right now?
You need to figure out who you are, how many you want, how hard is it, and what’s the subject you’re doing because that can differ in how many people will come.
FOR THE NEXT EVENT
It’s very vital that for the next event, one must have an idea of what people or where will these people come from, because without knowing the right audience, we cannot target them correctly.
MENTAL LOAD READY
Aside from being all prepared for your audience during event planning and preparation, you must also be mentally prepared for the huge load of responsibilities you’re just about to take.
I have been in business for about 10 years now. Working with Stress Management – taste those words!
It has been a roller coaster including a co-op that went into bankruptcy in the early days. Incredibly stressful experience!
It has been far from a calm journey as you can see, and I have tested my own de-stress tips over and over. And they work!
Before this business era I was working as a doctor in the Swedish primary health care system. That was not a business school. In Sweden health care is paid by the tax system and as a doctor you don’t chase clients/patients, you don’t deal with the payment system – you just do the job and get your pay-check. And you never talk about yourself, you just do your best helping the patient.
About 10 years ago everything just got a little bit too much. Stressful is a good word for what happened!
Endless amount of work, family, household, other people’s expectations – never time to reflect – I am sure you can relate!
But instead of walking straight into the famous wall of burnout, I took a step back, to see what my options were.
I believe this is a step we take way too seldom – the step back to look at the whole picture.
I realized I needed to change something – so I took a turn. I joined a course in stress management – to help myself – and realized – this is what I was aimed for: To help people avoid becoming patients, health promotion and stress management.
Again and again I have seen the need to take that step back, to get a clearer view of what is going on. When you are in the middle of it is hard to see the forest for all trees, you need to get out first to get the overview picture.
I think the forest is a great analogy of what I mean but I have taken it yet another bit further – I call it taking a virtual helicopter ride over your situation. It is good to get that far up to see the whole picture.
When clients come to me to discuss their situation and find solutions they often say: “My friend/colleague had the same problem and they did “this or that” and it solved all their problems. Can you help me do the same thing?”
And my answer is always: I can help you solve the same problem, if that is what you need, but it will probably not be in the same way.
You see, there are not any one-size-fits-all solutions in stress management. Even if the problems or challenges look alike every person has their own setting in life. The variations in circumstances are endless.
That is where the virtual Helicopter ride comes in. We look at everything from work, family, free time, health, network, where you live, status and more.
Up till today I have not had many clients solving their challenges in the same way they thought they would. Often the overview showed them other issues that were more important and maybe even easier to change first.
Are you ready to take a virtual helicopter trip over your life situation with me as your guide? And then make the changes you need?
I’m so happy to be able to finally share the video of my Tedx PSU Berks talk from last November. It really was such an honour to be up there on stage in the company of all the other great speakers.
At this event I talked about harnessing our own power to overcome the stresses that we all suffer each and every day. As leaders in business we have to juggle so many different things and we are often trying to troubleshoot so many problems that it can be overwhelming. Adding to that trying to maintain and happy home life and social life then it’s no wonder that we can be left feeling exhausted mentally and physically.
The problem that most don’t realise is that it doesn’t matter how strong we think we are and it doesn’t matter how much we think we can cope with it all because stress is stronger and will eventually make us sick physically, and for sure, not be able to be at our best mentally.
That’s why stress management is so important for the leaders of today, for your workforce and just about everyone. It doesn’t matter if you’re a woman or a man and it doesn’t matter if you’re running a small business alone or the head of an international company because stress doesn’t discriminate.
We can’t run away from stress either or think we can get rid of it because we need it!
We just need to manage it so that we can work at our best at all times and live a happier and more relaxed life.
After suffering the effects of stress myself and seeing many patients become sicker and sicker through stress in my time as a medical doctor, I have made it my passion to help and educate leaders in the business world and beyond to help people lead a better life and become more successful in their work.
If you have a chance to support a Tedx event in your own town, I really do urge you to go. Not just to support the people who work so hard to put it together but to absorb the great knowledge and experience.
Here are a few pictures from the event….
This is not the end of my Tedx journey as I will be speaking at the TedxSanJuanIsland in June 2019 and I will update you of the schedule as soon as it’s released.
If you enjoyed this talk and think that this is something that could help you personally and/or in your workplace then please get in touch via the contact form or click here to book a free call with me.
If you follow my blog you might have noticed that I haven’t posted for a while, and that’s because I’ve had a lot of things going on behind the scenes including this beautiful new website. I’m still adding to it but you’ll notice lots of changes and hopefully a more user friendly way for you to get to know me and find the information you need.
On top of the new website I have been away speaking at several events in America including the highlight for me, which was speaking at TEDx PSU Berks to a wonderful audience. I can’t wait to share with you all the video but we’ll have to wait until the new year for that. To be first to get the link to watch it on release, just follow me on Instagram or Facebook.
So here I am now finally settled back in Sweden after travelling so much and already we are very fast heading towards the Christmas and New Year’s holiday season.
For a lot of people that means a lot of extra work because everything has to be done before New Year for different reasons and of course you do want to be nice at the same time because this is a time for celebration for many people.
You have all these Pre-Christmas parties, well at least we do have those in Sweden, so it’s a very hectic time and you want to finish up all the things that are going on in the business before the new year.
Today I want to give you some tips that you can use to help you relax a little bit, maybe be more efficient and to give you more time to do the fun stuff that you want to do.
The first tip I want to give you is to trust your gut feeling. If you feel that things are a special way then try to stick to what your feeling is and don’t try to look too much into it and just do whatever you need to do.
Also, if you do get into trouble with something, come across a problem or something that’s hard to do just do them right away because it’s not going to be any easier if you keep procrastinating. The problem will probably grow bigger, you will have a harder time getting it done and it will be more complicated. So the best thing is actually to do things right away when they pop up especially the ones that are hard.
Another thing to think about when there is so much to do is that there is not time for perfection. You do it good enough and that will be good enough. Of course you don’t want to do a really lousy job but you do not have to have it perfect, especially when there is so much to do at this time of the year.
Don’t try to please everyone. There will always be people in your surrounding that don’t get what you say or want it their own way and they do not want to do whatever you want to do, but if you are the boss then you are the one to decide. I’m not talking about being harsh or rude or anything but you can’t please everyone. That has never really happened when you’re talking about working with groups of people.
Another thing that can be very helpful at this time of the year is to ask for help if you need any because people are usually very willing to help you and that is especially the way at this time of the year. Lots of people want to be nice and also it’s no shame to ask for help. No one can do everything but everyone can do something. So if you need help ask for it and then you say thank you afterwards and everything will be fine and they will thank you for trusting them to do the things.
The last tip or thought that I want to share with you today is to try not to lose yourself in the details but to try to see the whole picture. In a workplace it is so much easier if someone has that overview. I usually refer to overview as taking a helicopter ride above the situation where you can see all the different parts and when you do see them then you know which things need to get done first or maybe there are things that you don’t even need to do when you take a look at things this way. Maybe they have outdated themselves along the way and you end up just doing it because it’s on your list and then you do it in vain, so to speak.
These are a few little tips or thoughts that I want to give to you when we are so quickly heading towards the holiday season because I want you to have a great time. Try to ponder a little about the things that I talked about here and maybe you’ll find one or two little golden nuggets that you can bring into your own life to make it so much easier.
I think that’s all for today. Remember if you do need help with anything when it comes to stress management for yourself at work or in relation to your work team then feel free to connect. You can click the link below to connect and we’ll have a chat. Until next time.
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