Stress… an annoying word and annoying feelings – hence needed to be appropriately managed before it progresses to something we don’t want, or worse, something unmanageable.
INTRO TO STRESS MANAGEMENT: STICKING TO THE WAY WE FUNCTION
Stress management today is still about sticking to the way we functioned 200,000 years ago in Savannah.
We have survival instincts and we either fight, freeze, or flight. The only difference is the changing scenarios and situations we need to face.
BUT THAT’S WHERE OUR BASIC BIOLOGY IS WIRED
Like 200,000 years ago, we need to know the HOWs in order to survive – just like how we need to learn everything else.
So how did our ancestors survive? By using the basic survival instincts of fight, flight, or freeze, right?
The only problem is…
Is it still applicable in today’s modern world?
Can you punch your boss when he’s stressing you out with the things he/she wants you to do? Can you just run away from all your work deadlines? Or can you just freeze and not do anything at all when given a task to accomplish?
Instead, we need work to survive in our daily lives. Again, WE NEED WORK. And doing the flight, freeze, or fight tactic WOULD all make us LOSE WORK.
So, what do we do?
WE GET THE PRINCIPLES AND REAPPLY
We get the principles and the foundation of our basic biology, and then we reapply it to the appropriate scenarios.
But how do we even do that?
That’s where THE 5 ACTIONABLE STEPS TO MANAGING STRESS COME:
1. UNDERSTANDING STRESS SOURCES
The first step is understanding where your stress comes from. What causes it? What are your triggers? What is stress and when does it spike?
This is a necessary first step because without understanding something, we will fail to evaluate and see the options we have in fixing it.
Our ancestors during the Savannah understood that they are always fighting for survival. They understood that the cause of their stress and the triggers are rooted in the fear of not surviving such as getting eaten by the animals. Once they understood what situation they were in, they saw their survival options.
2. MINDSET
We have to embrace the fact, that stress work is also about mindset, and that everything else can also be about mindset.
Why? Because when you practice training your mindset, your thoughts eventually invade your subconscious, and your subconscious makes us act based on your subconsciousness’ deepest desires.
Let’s reapply in Savannah. Our ancestors knew they wanted to survive, no matter what. They could be tired physically or mentally, but deep inside, they know THEY WANT to survive. So in that desire to survive, their bodies act that way in times of danger.
3. MOVING AROUND
Moving around is vital as it helps in giving you energy and it also helps in your thinking and processing.
We have a connection between our muscles and brain cells, that when we move our muscles, so do our brain cells – helping us be able to think clearer.
Wonder why our ancestors run and choose flight even when they can fight, then suddenly do some sure-win survival movements after running? Because when they choose flight, they don’t just run away to survive – they also buy themselves time. Time to think of a way to defeat their opponent, time to make a great escape, or time to just figure out a way to survive at that specific moment.
4. Healthy Sleeping & Eating Habits
This is a no-brainer. We get grumpy when we do not get enough sleep, just as how we get grumpy when we are hungry.
Our ancestors still sleep and eat in the Savannah, but if they get good and healthy amounts of it is the question… it’s possible but depends on whether they have #5 below.
5. Support System
We often forget or fail to realize the importance of having a strong support system. I’m sure you’re familiar with the famous saying: “No man is an Island”.
Why? Life can be lonely, and sometimes we make decisions based on emotions – but having a strong support system helps us be better than that.
It’s great to get different insights, and the support is healthy (just make sure to find ones you can trust, this is crucial).
But how is the support system beneficial in Savannah?
As mentioned, they were in survival mode. Without a support system, they’re just easy targets for the animals. At the same time, without this, they will fail to get healthy amounts of sleep because they have no one to be on the lookout for while they sleep, plus hunting food would be harder as opposed to when they’re in a group.
SAME BASE SYSTEM, DIFFERENT SCENARIOS
You see how we’re wired, and how we have the same base system but just needs to be applied in different scenarios?
That’s how we can successfully deal with and manage our stress levels. We are naturally wired to those, we just have to be creative in order to make it applicable in our today’s world.
REMEMBER WHERE IT ALL STARTS
Always remember that you have to understand where it all starts – without these, your options will not be accurate or effective.
Remember, same principles… but different applications.
GET HELP IF YOU NEED
If it feels hard to decide what you want to do on your own – get a mentor. Reach out if you need help. It is always important and there will always be things that you can support.
Check HERE to see if you feel like we’re a good fit.
On top of being a speaker, mentor, and stress strategist, I am a Medical Doctor who works in healthcare every now and then. And that includes having a very extraordinary day at work which reminded me that stress indeed, is a lifelong story.
HOW IS STRESS A LIFELONG STORY?
BECAUSE HEY, LIFE HAPPENS…
So I was in primary care in a small station that is almost in the middle of nowhere – with 2 doctors in an ordinary day – and one of them was on vacation so I got called in.
I’m familiar with the place as I’ve been there already many times before.
So I thought, yeah, no problem.
BUT THEN UNEXPECTED THINGS HAPPEN.
Yes, oh how we hate them – when a few unexpected things come out of the ordinary – it just triggers our stressors to rise. Right?
For me, it was that day that I needed to be the replacement doctor for the one on vacation. Because out of all days, systems could mess up the work, it chose that day.
“We cannot get into the computers”.
I WAS WORRIED.
I felt some stress coming. How could I not? We were totally dependent on computers! Patient records, prescriptions, ordering of tests…
That’s basically how we operate.
STRESS CAME IN, HIGH.
Stress came in very quickly because patients also started coming in. Patients who booked but you don’t have their names, records, or anything.
Imagine the stress, delay, and everything. What do we do?
THANKFULLY, ONE WORKED.
We saw one who got into her computer. It was lagging, and couldn’t do prints at all – nothing extra, but at least we could read?!
So we took photos. Copies for us to use as a list of who was booked at what time, but that’s it – no records, only the booked names.
STILL ANOTHER PROBLEM, BUT ONE STEP AT A TIME
Still stressful because we only have the names, but still don’t have anything other than that.
The patients had no clue. They came in and needed help, but we don’t have their history at hand.
WE JUST CAME UP FRONT AND WERE HONEST ABOUT IT.
“So our main system’s not working at the moment so we do not have access to your history. Do you remember what you’ve done before or the medications you’ve been given, or are still taking at the moment?”
WE WROTE EVERYTHING DOWN.
We just had to scribble down everything because we couldn’t record them where we usually do – and it was all integrated in the system we use for main records but then we gotta do what we do and work on what we only had.
IT’S A BIG ISSUE
Apparently, we weren’t the only healthcare who experienced it. It was everywhere in that area, and entirely out of the tiny healthcare’s control.
All we could do was wait for the bigger ones to fix the systems we all use.
THERE WERE EMERGENCIES
I had a full schedule of patients and 2 that came as emergencies. I had to handwrite the
preferred referral paper, which was supposed to be just sent in the integrated system we all had.
ONE OF THE MOST STRESSFUL HEALTHCARE EXPERIENCE
Admittedly, this was one of the more stressful days I had in health care in many years.
No kidding, we get a handful of patients every day, and the system makes everything easier, faster, and smoother – basically a more efficient workflow for the Doctors and the patients.
But with that unexpected system-wide breakdown, we all had to keep up with the many things we needed to do and patients just kept on coming in like usual, but because of the unexpected hiccup, we all were much slower than usual.
So the patients were piling up and all.
It was really really stressful, as there were some prescriptions we really needed to give but couldn’t because some patients couldn’t remember their history, and we don’t have access to the record.
So they have to come back, but who knows when the issue’s gonna get fixed? The patients needed help.
WE WERE ON THE EDGE.
We were all on the edge all the time, and it was barely lunch break but I felt as if my brain almost stopped working – and I still had the whole day to survive.
BUT THE COMMUNITY HELPED.
We all came to lunch, sat down, and looked at each other, knowing it was all absolutely crazy, but we all ended up just sitting there – LAUGHING.
And it was such a relief.
LAUGHTER, INDEED IS THE BEST MEDICINE.
Sounds cliche, but always works especially on days that you really couldn’t do anything about, and would just waste energy for something out of your hands.
It helps when a community is with you – easier to get reminded.
WE JUST HAVE TO WORK ON WHAT WE HAVE.
In the end, since it was totally out of our control, we went on with our days waiting for the system to get fixed, and while at it just worked on what we had.
RELAX, RESET, RECHARGE
After a long stressful, tiring day…
I would still like to remind you not to forget to squeeze in even a little time for relaxation – so you could reset and be recharged to face another day.
Whether that’s listening to your favorite music, singing, pampering, or just doing nothing – find the time to relax.
Or if reading helps you calm down, might as well read an e-book that teaches you strategies for calm as well
“Sleep is for the week”, “Who needs sleep when you have coffee”, “I have many things to do, 5-6 hours of sleep is enough for me”– let’s stop patronizing these ideas, they’re not good for our bodies and never good for our health.
But how many hours of sleep do our bodies really need?
HOURS OF SLEEP PER AGE
0-3 months: up to 18 hours
4-11 months: 12-15 hours
1-2 years old: 11-14 hours
3-5 years old: 10-13 hours
6-13 years old: 9-11 hours
14-17 years old: 8-10 hours
18-25 years old: 7-9 hours
26-64 years old: 7-9 hours
65+ years old: 7-8 hours
The above is a guide or a framework we can use as a guide to how many hours of sleep we need according to our age.
But, it’s important to remember that like in everything else, when it comes to sleep…
THERE IS ALSO NO ONE SIZE FITS ALL SOLUTION
But how is that, if the sleep hours are clearly stated?
My explanation here would be simple. Our everyday life doesn’t look the same, so one person might be needing to do too many strenuous activities, forcing the body to need MORE rest than normal – you get the point.
So…
HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU’RE GETTING ENOUGH SLEEP?
Well, it’s time you reflect and ask yourself every time – or have a journal or some sleep tracker. When you wake up and you feel good, track how many hours of sleep you had, and when you wake up feeling tired… also track how many hours of sleep you had.
Recognize your own body’s pattern and listen to what it’s telling you. If you feel tired every day even after sleeping 7 hours, then maybe your body needs 8. And if you feel good and energized, then try practicing sleeping that right amount.
IT’S IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER…
We have to complete all 3 stages of sleep in one night: Light, wherein our eyes are closed but still too easily to be woken up, REM, which happens after about 90 minutes of falling asleep, where our eyes still move (rapid eye movement) while closed and where most dreams occur, and Deep sleep, where our brain waves have slowed down and it’s harder to wake us up.
And yes just in case you’re wondering, it’s also normal to wake up several times during the night. Just don’t do anything that can disrupt your melatonin like checking your phone or something to not make it hard for yourself to get back to sleep.
THE RISK OF SLEEPING LESS & SLEEPING MORE
Studies show that sleeping less than 6 hours a day increases the risk of Alzheimer’s, heart & blood vessel illnesses, and some kinds of cancer, and obesity for the younger ones.
On the other hand, sleeping more than 9 hours increases the risk of some types of cancer too. Which means… The safest thing to say is at about 7-8 hours of sleep every day, to have the lowest risk of getting these illnesses.
IMPORTANCE OF GETTING THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF SLEEP
Aside from being on the safer side of all illnesses… sleep has so many positive effects so we must keep up with our brains, their functions, and their processes.
Scientists have also shown before that when we sleep, some kind of cleaning process happens in our body, like getting the “waste” products out of our body.
TO SUM IT UP
Wrapping it up, and feeling what works for your body’s needs while sticking to the framework as a guide… is our safest bet to getting the right amount of sleep our body needs.
It’s not every day we get a good night’s sleep… sometimes even after sleeping a complete 8 hours, we wake up feeling bad. So, how do we make sure we get a good night’s sleep?
HAVING A BEDTIME RITUAL
“Okay, time to go to sleep!”
Here’s a question for you, sleepy head…
Do you usually prepare before bedtime or do you just rush into bed, close your eyes and wait for the sandman to come?
If you say rushing… Science shows that for most people the best is to prepare for sleep by winding down, at least by making that last hour different from your rushed everyday time.
So yes, a bedtime ritual…
THE WRONG WAY…
Many people, many, many people watch TV right before bed, thinking it’s their way of “winding down”…
Well, kudos for at least recognizing the need to wind down. However, If this is you, I also feel the need to tell you that studies show that turning the tv on before bedtime disrupts sleep cycles as anything that stimulates the brain before bed may be detrimental to one’s ability to fall asleep.
If that works for you with no issues at all, great! But for those who don’t…
HERE ARE A FEW GUIDELINES TO STICK TO
Take an hour before going to wind down and make it a ritual – the same every evening so that your brain will eventually recognize it as a signal to bedtime.
SOME GOOD THINGS TO TRY
Taking a quick hot shower
Taking a hot shower hours before bed helps in reducing our inner body’s temperature, which helps in making us fall asleep at night. We can also put on some thick socks and get our hands warm, then just relax in a dimmed-lit room after showering.
Avoiding too much movement
No hard exercise before bedtime, or anything that can stimulate happy hormones. That won’t make us feel sleepy, right?
Instead of going for the hard workout, opt for soft yoga and stretching, to feel relaxed in preparation for bedtime.
Diving into your book before sleep helps you feel relaxed – as long as you don’t choose exciting, or hardcore thriller books that will give you the opposite effect.
Playing some mellow music
There is no question about music’s magic, ever. Choosing the right music does wonders, all the time – even if it’s for getting sleepy.
Those are the good things I personally can recommend, and in case you’re wondering where the alcohol goes in the list…
We’re talking about getting a good night’s sleep – not getting the “sleepy” feeling because yes, the right amount of alcohol can make you sleepy, but it doesn’t give you a good restorative sleep.
So if you want a good resting sleep, avoid alcohol just as you would avoid screen as it suppresses our sleep hormones melatonin.
So to answer your question, yes – choose the soft, boring, relaxing activities to wind down and wake up feeling refreshed the day after.
Do you feel like you’re often tired? Did you know that there’s a connection between tiredness and our mitochondria, as these are the membrane-bound cell organelles that generate or produce our energy?
Now you might be asking, how do we get our mitochondria to generate MORE ENERGY so we feel LESS TIRED?
Great question, as there might just be a recipe on how to get that needed energy boost.
RECIPE FOR GETTING MORE ENERGY
If you feel like you get tired easier than others (e.g. always falling asleep earlier despite doing less work, or not finding the energy to do more because of tiredness), then you might want to consider taking a look at your inner power station – your mitochondria.
HOW IT LOOKS LIKE
The tiredness would sometimes be so bad that it is restricting the patient in their everyday life… holding them back from the life they would like to live.
TIREDNESS HAS DIFFERENT CAUSES
There might be many different reasons for your tiredness – and some are easier to cure than others.
But everyone can do things to make them feel better.
In my work in health care, I see many patients searching for help for their tiredness. Very often that is a sign of something else, as tiredness is not an illness in itself, but a symptom, or a signal that there is an imbalance with something.
Still, another common explanation for energy loss is a hectic life at both work and at home often leading to an unhealthy lifestyle – you end up in a negative circle.
INACTIVITY & POOR DIET
Often, it’s inactivity and a nutrient-poor diet that leads you to a state of lack. You sleep too little, watch too much, and move too little as your eyes are always focused on the screen.
LIFESTYLE, NOT AGE, DOES MATTER
It is not about age or gender – it is about a lifestyle bringing your immune system out of balance.
A disturbed function of the mitochondria in the cells is a central explanation for this lifestyle tiredness. The mitochondria that we have in all our cells deliver energy.
They are like miniature power plants.
TIREDNESS CAN PROTECT YOU TOO
A new interesting theory is that tiredness is a protective mechanism for our health. It’s our body’s way of telling us to pause and take a rest because we need to.
So what are the things that we can do to help our mitochondria gain some balance in giving us the energy we need?
1. ADJUST YOUR DIET
One good thing to do is to adjust our diet to a mitochondria-friendly one.
Lots of greens, berries, and nutrient-packed food with high levels of vitamins and minerals – this diet is what the mitochondria love!
2. MIND YOUR EATING TIME
It is also important “when” we eat.
This schedule is based on 3 main meals a day – and only minor or no eating in between. We are not made for a constant energy intake, and it’s advisable to have at least a 12-hour long break from food intake between supper and breakfast.
Even better if it is more than 12 hours – I usually do 15 hours by the way. You just have to find your best version.
3. MOVE AROUND
Physical activity is also important to help the mitochondria stay in a good mood.
Doing it outdoors adds even more to the benefit. We can even say we need to get outdoors every day.
If you are not used to doing physical things just start with a daily walk of 10 minutes. It is good for your muscles, your lungs, and for your heart. It is also good for your brain to get energy from the light.
But for those of you who already do a lot of training, I will maybe have to warn you to not overdo it. Your mitochondria don’t want too much and you want to keep them happy. They need to rest – and so do you.
Now your mitochondria will cheer for you and be less tired – and so will you 😊
Why am I talking about this again and again – from different angles?
Because this is the basic way we function – there are no quick fixes and don’t complicate it – Just do it and Take care.
You may be asking, is there a way that you can stay efficient both at work and at home, without compromising either?
You are tired, you feel worn out.
These days, you’re also fed up with all the “what’s happening in our world” talks as it’s ruling everybody else’s life, including ours.
Like you, I had my hands full before and just did not need any other extra burden. It was a never-ending story with tasks waiting to get done.
You still have many hours left at work, and a pile of tasks but you just want to sleep and be able to forget everything. And stress? It’s already taking a strict grip on your brain.
HOW WILL YOU SURVIVE? Recognize.
Everything that’s happening in our world today makes us a little more uncertain, and uncertainty’s naturally a threat to our brains so stress creeps up on us without us noticing until everything just becomes so heavy and hopeless.
WILL UNCERTAINTY HURT YOU
Not really if you take the time to rest and rejuvenate from time to time, or prevent yourself from constantly ending up n that situation by acting at first signs.
To help you, I’ll give 5 proven EASY tips that give you calm, energy, better structure in work, and in the end when all combined, better life or revenue business-wise.
1. The Breathing Anchor
What other BESt here and NOW tool than your ability to take deep breaths??
Admittedly, others see breathing as just breathing – but believe me when I tell you, and as a Doctor, that IT IS NOT. It’s the basic source of life. No breathing, no oxygen = no life!
In a workshop with a group of businesspeople, I was teaching them this tool. One man went almost crazy stating that he was absolutely not doing any breathing exercise – it was just all wo-wo.
I had to calm him down. He even told me not to play games with him. I said, well then by normally breathing he was halfway there – he just needed to start seeing it as a tool.
We showed the whole group how to do the breathing in a good way and off they went for 4 weeks. The guy did not look happy when we parted.
4 weeks later at the next workshop session, this man comes up to me – apologizing for his behavior the last time.
He had – behind closed doors – tested the exercise and noticed that he did feel better – less stress and got better flow in his work and realized it was a good thing!
So, if you start to use breathing as a tool, you will have a friend for life.
Make it your first automatic thing to do when you feel the stress come creeping up your back.
Just stop and breathe..
I heard someone call it your 10-second vacation – and that is a very good way to see it – that is just what it is. 10 seconds of peace of mind – and that can make all the difference.
Someone else calls it your airbag – to release when stress hits you.
Whichever of these analogies you use – don’t forget to utilize this free, effective, and readily available tool.
2. PHYSICAL MOVEMENT
Stand up, jump, stretch, walk around! Movement generates energy in both body and mind by improving cell connections in the brain.
Angry, upset, or stressed out? Walk around the block and you’ll be surprised you’ll feel calm.
Notice how when people fight and someone who doesn’t like talking much when full of emotions just walks out, and then comes back ready to talk calmly? That’s what I’m talking about.
Wayback 200,000 ish years ago we were equipped with 3 main ways to react to threats: flight, fight or freeze – combined with a 4th tool – the ability to move.
Moving plus thinking has a connection. Lost a thought? Move and you’ll remember it easier.
Physical movement gives us clarity, and when we’re thinking straight, we can do great unexpected things.
3. A BREAK.
Our brains don’t like being active for too long. They need to rest and reorganize every now and then.
Sprint 20-50 minutes of work, then squeeze in a 5-15 minute break. Get a coffee, breathe, exercise, stretch, jump, sing, dance… Do crochet, sew – whatever makes your heart happy!
4. Delegate!
Have someone else do the work! Repetitive or routinary tasks that can be taught one time? A task that follows a specific process you can teach? Boring easy tasks?
True enough, not everyone has somebody else to delegate to, but buying a service from someone who in no time can do what takes you ages is always an option! In return, you’ll get more time at your hands and focus on things you do the best.
5. MAKE A STRUCTURE.
Get your working routines in order. Get help from systems and structures that already exist. It may take a day or two to do these organizing changes to get a system that works. But you will soon get all that time back and lots more upfront when your work is much more effective in your daily routine.
Once you have a structure for everything, it can easily be taught and passed on, and implementing #4 above will be waaaay easier!
I know all this sounds too much to take but coming to think of it, they’re all easy, and once all set, make your lives so much easier!
I have received questions before about taking a pill instead to calm down… but, let me warn you on that: Yes, it is true that if you take it all will seem good because you’ll feel calm and better but NO, you’re not done with your “stress problems” and your problem is NOT SOLVED.
Just like alcohol… it helps in a day but certainly only offers temporary relief and solves no root cause of a problem. In fact, can even cause an additional one – alcohol addiction.
So no, I say do not succumb to these temporary solutions because quick fixes never work.
MANAGE TASKS TO BE EFFICIENT
Making a list of things to do or tasks at hand plays a crucial role in this journey, as well as prioritizing them in order.
When you don’t have anything that requires urgency, then that’s your excuse to just go pick random tasks because it’s obvious that the one that you pick is also the one that you like the most to do.
Although we tend to pick the easy ones first, I suggest doing it the other way around because ticking off the hard ones from the list can put your mind at ease.
Nobody for sure would like the hard ones getting piled up… or it becomes unmanageable.
CATEGORIZING YOUR TASKS
If you get confused about which task goes first while making your list, I advise you to break them down into these 4 categories:
1. Urgent and Important
Examples of tasks that fall under this category are those that you cannot always predict and require immediate action or attention to stop further harm if any. These tasks give you the feeling to drop other tasks and do only these tasks NOW.
Both things that include preventing conflicts or making you lose an important opportunity go here.
2. Not Urgent But Important
These tasks, since they are not urgent… sometimes mean that you need to have the time to ponder about them.
Sample tasks that fall here are the tasks that could be something big for your business and need plenty of time planning and doing.
“Why does it come second if it is not urgent”
Because if you don’t start doing them now, sooner or later THEY BECOME URGENT. They may be crucial to your business moving forward – but your mind puts them off – because they are time-consuming and often also energy draining.
Most often selling comes here and all the development of new products. It doesn’t have to be done today – but if never done your business will die.
3. Urgent But Not Important
These are the tasks that require urgency looking like they could be preventing you from achieving some of your goals or proceeding to the next step/s.
But since they are not important, ask yourself if they can be rescheduled or outsourced.
Often we also find all the things from OTHER people’s list here – we are asked for things that we don’t have to do – but since someone is asking for it we think we need to answer. But if we reflect we can see they are not important to us at all.
4. Not Urgent and Not Important
Yes, they do exist. Some examples that fall here are those that other people told you that you need to do or tasks you see other people have so you also thought you need to do the same but don’t probably have to do at all.
Avoid these tasks as much as possible as they only serve as a distraction. Reflect and ask if these tasks are really necessary or just a waste of time.
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