I have been in business for about 10 years now. Working with Stress Management – taste those words!
It has been a roller coaster including a co-op that went into bankruptcy in the early days. Incredibly stressful experience!
It has been far from a calm journey as you can see, and I have tested my own de-stress tips over and over. And they work!
Before this business era I was working as a doctor in the Swedish primary health care system. That was not a business school. In Sweden health care is paid by the tax system and as a doctor you don’t chase clients/patients, you don’t deal with the payment system – you just do the job and get your pay-check. And you never talk about yourself, you just do your best helping the patient.
About 10 years ago everything just got a little bit too much. Stressful is a good word for what happened!
Endless amount of work, family, household, other people’s expectations – never time to reflect – I am sure you can relate!
But instead of walking straight into the famous wall of burnout, I took a step back, to see what my options were.
I believe this is a step we take way too seldom – the step back to look at the whole picture.
I realized I needed to change something – so I took a turn. I joined a course in stress management – to help myself – and realized – this is what I was aimed for: To help people avoid becoming patients, health promotion and stress management.
Again and again I have seen the need to take that step back, to get a clearer view of what is going on. When you are in the middle of it is hard to see the forest for all trees, you need to get out first to get the overview picture.
I think the forest is a great analogy of what I mean but I have taken it yet another bit further – I call it taking a virtual helicopter ride over your situation. It is good to get that far up to see the whole picture.
When clients come to me to discuss their situation and find solutions they often say: “My friend/colleague had the same problem and they did “this or that” and it solved all their problems. Can you help me do the same thing?”
And my answer is always: I can help you solve the same problem, if that is what you need, but it will probably not be in the same way.
You see, there are not any one-size-fits-all solutions in stress management. Even if the problems or challenges look alike every person has their own setting in life. The variations in circumstances are endless.
That is where the virtual Helicopter ride comes in. We look at everything from work, family, free time, health, network, where you live, status and more.
Up till today I have not had many clients solving their challenges in the same way they thought they would. Often the overview showed them other issues that were more important and maybe even easier to change first.
Are you ready to take a virtual helicopter trip over your life situation with me as your guide? And then make the changes you need?
The Corona virus has changed the world, in many ways, almost all ways.
Before there were unemployed people, yes, and I am sure most of them were unhappy about that. Most of them did what they could to try to find a job.
Then along comes this virus and practically the whole world shuts down, in no time. Travel, tourism, business meetings, free time activities, speaking engagement, counseling – everything shuts down in a moment. Some activities can go on online but so many businesses just closed – leaving a growing crowd of unemployed people.
We are talking about massive amounts of people, millions around the globe.
Being involuntary unemployed is an incredibly stressful situation. How will I get money for the rent, for food, for my children?
Being involuntary unemployed is also degrading on your self-esteem. You feel less worth and your negative thought take over and you start getting anxiety, get depressed.
I can’t help you get a new job but I can give you 5 Tips to work with and ponder about when you are in this tough situation.
1.You are valuable:
Remind yourself that your identity is built on who you are, not on what you do. It is about your personality, your strengths, talents, and values. They are still there even if you are out of work. Maybe you can use another word than unemployed? You can say you are between two challenges, or between jobs. Find something that feels right for you. Keep your head high whatever you call it. You are still as valuable as before.
2.Take responsibility:
It is okay to have a bad day but do what you can to avoid getting stuck in the victim role. Maybe you think it someone else’s fault you are in this situation, and probably it is not really your fault. BUT the more responsibility you take for your own situation, whoever or whatever to blame, the more constructive solutions you will come up with. Get a small notebook where you note all small steps forward you do in your search for a new job and note all the personal good experiences you make. Take a break from the job hunt when you get tired. Do something that gives you energy for a short while. To look for a new job is equivalent to doing a job, so it is alright with those breaks, no need to feel bad about it. Physical activity, like brisk walks, is something that will generate energy for you and can be used particularly when it feels at its hardest.
3.What is your focus:
Reflect on who you are, what you want and what kind of job you are looking for. I know you cannot be very selective now when so many compete for the same jobs. But if you have a choice, go for jobs you want. Also try new ways to look for a job. Maybe test a new platform you find on a google search. Dare to fail and try not to take a No personal, it probably is not, there are just too many folks searching. Also dare to ask for feedback from the people interviewing you. That can help you tweak something you do or say.
4.Find role models:
Who do you know that managed their unemployment and search for a new job in a good way? How did they do? What did they do? Mimic their recipe and take what feels right for you. Be inspired. Try to meet people in networks, maybe you need to find them online right now. Ask what others do, take support. You are not less than anyone else you are maybe just in different phases.
5.Get a mentor:
This is not always so easy to tackle by yourself. It can be good to find some form of sounding board who can help you see more constructively on your talents and who can keep you going in the right direction and not lose track. Find a career coach, a mentor, advisor, trainer who can ask these questions. Maybe there is a worker/union organization near you that can help. Investing in this in both time and money can pay off a lot in the long run. Maybe you end up in taking up on an education for a new track.
Take some time and reflect on my tips. I know they can be hard to follow because of the Corona situation. But the point here is that YOU must handle and care for this situation. The more you take responsibility, engage and learn and do, the better prepared will your brain be. You will start seeing things that were not going to show up if you carry the victim’s glasses on giving a narrowed view of the situation.
Is it
business as usual for you right now? I would think not.
A little
virus is holding us, the whole world, hostage, and everything has turned upside
down. I do not know about you, but I
have felt more uncertainty then in a long time before. It is stressful!
I want to address
that uncertainty, what is uncertain and what is actually as it always has been?
The Corona
virus is new to us humans. That means we didn’t know initially how it was going
to affect us. Now 4 months later we still don’t have all the answers but we
have a clue on what to expect.
What I see
as a doctor is that the uncertainty that we have is just as hard to tackle as
the virus. Our brain wants to have certainty, otherwise it makes up stories, some
good and some far from the truth. We also always make decisions from emotions,
not by logic and then we find a reason to back up on our choice. This all leads
to a lot of believing and not so much facts. It makes it a must to check
the facts you can check. And that leads us to the question of what to
do to tackle this new situation. What habits do we need to change?
What habits do we be extra aware of in this time of being locked up in in the Corona Quarantine?
I’d say the routines around your energy generating system – sleep, eat and exercise. They are the habits that can make you cope in the long run.
You stay
home, maybe just do shorter rounds for shopping. You work from home, which means
you move around less than usual. Maybe you are not allowed to go to the gym. You
become a coach potato.
You eat
just as much as usual even though you don’t move as much. And you treat
yourself with things with sugar and fat in it – because that is what our
ancient brain wants. “Poor me, I just need a little bit more of that delicious
treat” – it says.
And since
you just sit all day long and you eat too much your sleep is affected. You sit
and watch TV until late and you have a hard time falling asleep when you
finally hit bed. And then you wake up at 3am and feel the anxiety creeping in
your head and all your problems grow big. When you finally fall asleep you
sleep longer in the morning and your next day is wrecked.
Taking care
of those 3 habits is the best stress reducing action you can take to stay sound
and healthy in this lockdown time. A healthy body and a healthy brain is a unit.
It all affects each other.
What the brain and body want is regularity. That system was made 200,000 years ago, and we are still stuck with the same physical and mental systems.
Regular sleep
– 7-8 hours per night, every night and same time every night. Because the brain
does not know what we call the different days. The brain needs the same every
night.
Regular food
– 3 main meals a day at regular hours – same all days. Good healthy food with
nutrients and vitamins. Beware of the portion size too.
Regular exercise – 30 minutes brisk walk daily as a base. If you cannot get that in this
lockdown you can work out other ways to get it, right? Maybe you have stairs at
home. Use them, walk up and down for 30 minutes or do an exercise video online –
be creative.
Getting
these 3 areas right will make you feel more energized and you will be less prone
to be depressed.
Making this
work good for you now in the lockdown is good news for your health and then keeping
these new good habits when we are free again will make you the long term winner
you deserve to be.
Remember:
we get what we focus on so it better be something positive to make your life
good.
The day of rest and relaxation to spend with friends and family, enjoying hearty meals, sport games or even quiet reflection.
The thing is, over time we’ve come to see that Sunday has become a day of increasing anxiety instead for many people.
It starts off great when you wake up and think “ahhhh Sunday” maybe I’ll have breakfast in bed or “maybe I’ll have brunch with the girls” or “I can’t wait for an afternoon watching the game with the boys”. As the day moves on you start getting a nagging feeling in your head and you start feeling anxious, not about Sunday but about Monday.
I mean it’s not even here yet and you’re already starting to panic over what’s to come.
So why are you feeling anxious about returning to work in your leadership position?
Isn’t this what you wanted? A role in management, an executive position or you may even be running your very own business.
It’s what you worked hard for all those years so why are you now anxious about going into work on a Monday?
Sunday should be the end of a great weekend, not a day where the increasing dread of the week ahead clouds your mind.
So how do you combat thoseSunday Blues and start really enjoying your downtime?
Preparation
Organisation
Routine
Now that doesn’t sound too exciting but these are three of the principals to stick to when you’re a busy leader striving for success whilst juggling a busy home and social life. That’s if you want to keep your stress at bay!
Let me explain a bit more using these handy tips for a happier weekend:
Stick to your routines even on the weekends.
During the week many of us stick to routines when it comes to the time we wake up, when we leave the house for work, keeping the household running, making sure the kids are fed, watered and attend their activities, when we workout and even when and what type of foods we eat.
What happens on the weekend is we may feel that since we’ve been good all week it’s absolutely justified for us to sleep in longer, drink more alcohol and eat “treat foods” or junk foods etc etc.
On the weekend we feel like we deserve to do what we want because we’ve been good all week.
The thing is that our body, in a physiological sense, does not know that it is the weekend. For our body every day is the same and so breaking our routines can leave us feeling fatigued and out of sync. This has a direct correlation with your mental state and so where possible it’s best to stick to your routines every single day, even on a Sunday.
Now I’m not saying you don’t deserve a treat and to sleep a little more, what I’m saying is do things in moderation through the week and the weekend so that you keep yourself balanced physically and mentally.
Keeping your eating and sleeping routine on the weekend will also help with those sleepless Sunday nights.
Keep away from alcohol if you’re suffering with the blues
If you’re struggling with your Sunday blues then grabbing a beer or a glass of wine might feel like the right thing to do to take the edge off, but since alcohol is a depressant this is the complete opposite of what you should do.
By all means have a glass with dinner but if you’re particularly anxious it might be worth checking in with yourself and asking do I want to feel worse?
Do all the chores you’re avoiding on a Saturday
A great productivity and stress management tip I give to my clients when it comes to their work routines is to get the difficult tasks done first because once you’ve done the difficult tasks the rest will flow easily and your day will flow with ease. It’s a great success tip for anyone in any position but for leaders it’s imperative that things are done in this order as it opens up the day for you to concentrate on building your business.
The same applies to managing your stress and the overall success of your weekend. If you have things to do on the weekend that you just don’t want to do but have to do, the trick is to do them first. Don’t leave them til Sunday when all you want to be doing is relaxing, socializing or spending time with your children because you’ll be worrying about them until they’re done.
Get your chores done on a Saturday, get the kids to do their weekend homework on a Friday evening or Saturday so you don’t have to sit with them on a Sunday. This also helps them grow a more positive mindset and a good weekend routine and they also won’t have that nagging feeling that they have to do something on Sunday before going back to school on a Monday.
Bedtime routine or Sunday night ritual
I’m a big believer in a bedtime routine and if you’ve read some of my sleep articles you’ll know that sleep is one of the most important factors when it comes to stress management and your energy levels. It’s even more important for you to end your weekend with a refreshing sleep so that you start your week full of energy and positivity.
This is why I love the idea of having a Sunday evening ritual. Creating a regular activity or sequence of events on a Sunday evening is a great way of winding down your weekend.
It can be anything from going to the movies with your partner or friends then coming home to a relaxing bath, reading a good book or meditating before sleep to having a special meal that you cook with the kids and watching a movie in your pajamas before bed.
It’s totally your choice, do something that will make you feel happy and relaxed that ends with you preparing yourself for a great night’s sleep.
Check in with your mindset – sometimes we worry unnecessarily
Are you worrying over nothing?
When we are consistently anxious or stressed out at work during the week we might fall into the trap of finding things to worry about that just don’t need to be worried about.
Being in a state of anxiety can sometimes become a habit, it becomes the “normal” way for you to feel, so even if you haven’t got anything to worry about you’ll look for things to worry about, because feeling relaxed makes you feel lost!
If this is you, then I recommend you take a broader look at what’s happening in your life to get a sense of why you’re constantly anxious. You can start putting in some good practices into place every day to help you change your mindset and pull you physically out of the state of anxiety. I recommend my free eBook Leadership With Less Stress as a great starting point to understanding the basics and to start taking baby steps each day towards a happier and calmer life. And yes, it will even help you with the Sunday blues.
Don’t try and cram too much in
We often try and cram in so much that our weekend becomes one big whirlwind of chores and activities with absolutely no down time to enjoy ourselves, relax and rejuvenate our mind and body.
This is no way to spend the weekend and while I appreciate that sometimes things can get a bit crazy, especially if you have a young family, there has to come a time when you say NO to certain things.
Keeping your weekends organised with must do and want to do activities is a must for ANYONE.
Saying NO to things that will stop you from getting the most out of your weekend will only benefit you and your family in the long run.
Ask yourself: “How do I want to feel at the end of my weekend, and what do I need to do to make that happen!”
Adjust your schedule or delegate tasks. You’ll be thankful for it come Sunday night.
Friday & Sunday Check Ins
We all get excited on a Friday evening, thankful that the week has ended and longing for the weekend to begin, but before this happens schedule in an hour at the end of your Friday to review what happened at work that week and what will be needed on Monday.
This gives you the right perspective to go into your weekend and puts to bed any nagging thoughts that you forgot to do something or any unknown of what will be required from you come Monday morning.
Check your schedule and your to do list, delegate the tasks to your team and set deadlines for the following week. This way you leave on a Friday evening with full knowledge of what is coming next week and right at that moment you have nothing to worry about because you’ve already taken care of the scheduling and tasks list.
On a Sunday morning, make it part of your routine (get up a little earlier if you need to) to sit with a cup of coffee or tea and start looking at your personal goals.
What have you achieved in the last week and what do you want to achieve moving forward. Write in a journal your thoughts, hopes and dreams and don’t forget to list the steps it will take to get there.
Checking in with this weekly journal will help keep your dreams alive and it pulls them into reality when you start implementing the steps you’ve written down.
It’s 10 minutes per week well spent.
I hope you’ve enjoyed my tips to combat the Sunday blues. I’d love to hear your thoughts and recommendations of how you overcome your blues. Comment below or join me over on Instagram or Linked In for more content on becoming a calmer leader for your workforce.
It’s just under a week since I got back from TEDx San Juan Island, where I gave my second TEDx talk. The theme of the event was “Origins” which was a great subject to work with when it comes to stress because as humans stress is our primal reaction to danger from both a physical and mental perspective.
I can’t wait to share the video of the talk I gave which was called “The Key To Staying Calm In A Stressed Out World”, but until that becomes available I wanted to share my journey and experiences of TEDx San Juan Island.
Giving a TEDx talk is a pretty major thing for anyone and for me it was no exception. It’s an incredible platform to influence and spread your message both at the event and then digitally afterwards. For me, I got to influence leaders of the future at the event and I will be able to share the video of my talk to my online audience of business leaders and corporate executives for years to come.
But, with all of these positives comes the equal pressure to create/write the perfect talk, perform it on stage (in English) and deliver my message to thousands if not hundreds of thousands of audience members and online viewers.
Even though this was my second TEDx talk and I thought maybe it would be an easier process this time, I was definitely challenged to create an even more valuable talk. The hands on approach of the team was welcomed as they guided me to bring out my message and tweak it to fall in line with their vision for the event.
I’ll admit that sometimes it was overwhelming and sometimes I could feel the stress creeping in as I prepared the talk, and then got down to the business of learning it and rehearsing/“performing” it.
Remember, I’m Swedish and although I speak fluent english it’s can still be daunting to stand up and give a talk from memory in a different language.
So, what did I do to overcome the stress creeping in?
First I went back to basics and made sure to take care of myself by keeping to my daily routines of gently exercising, sleeping well and eating at regular times.
Your daily routines are the foundations of your health and help you in managing your stress and getting through your day calmly.
Secondly, I prepared and organised myself to make sure I had enough time to put the work into the project.
One of the major triggers of stress is being unprepared and disorganised, and although we can “wing” some things in our lives and in the workplace, being prepared keeps things calm and on track. Plus, it gives you the extra time to deal with the things that will go wrong or change on the way.
Thirdly, I reached out for help from experts.
Reaching out for help is a big sign of strength (not weakness like most people think). We’re not supposed to be experts at everything and it’s ok to say. “Ok, I need some help with this to get it right!” In fact you’re more likely to be successful if you work with others towards your goals.
Leaders just like you will be faced with events and projects that will feel daunting and you could instantly feel a wave of stress rushing over you, or you can remember that there is a process that can help you achieve the goal of the event or project successfully and more importantly….Calmly!
It’s so important that we enjoy the journey towards our goals and we miss out on that if we are stressed out!
In summary:
When you’re faced with a daunting task, check in on yourself and remember to:
Eat energizing, healthy foods regularly. Sleep regular hours every night to rest your body and mind. Exercise your body to boost your energy and clear your mind.
Be prepared and organised. Take some time out before you start to map out everything that needs to be done and by when, giving yourself a little extra time for unexpected things.
Reach out for help. Find the people who are good at the things you’re struggling with. Let them help and guide you so that you learn from them and overcome the obstacles without wasting time trying to work it all out yourself.
If this has helped you in any way, please share your journey or questions in the comments below, and if you feel like you need a bit of extra help you can download my e-book,Leadership With Less Stress, below to set you up with the foundations of stress management.
To your success!
P.s. I’m hoping to get the TEDx San Juan Island talk back on video in the next month but until then (and in case you missed it) here is my talk from Tedx PSU Berks.
Today I want to talk about a client I had a couple of years ago. It was three years ago that I met with this young lady called Ingrid.
She was only 33 years old and at home she had three younger kids. She was the middle manager of a work group of around 20 people.
Her life was crazy! There was so much to do and she was really trapped in the hamster wheel.
She reached out to me and we set up a mentor program for a three month meeting every second week over Zoom. Each time we had an hour together and she came every time to the meetings and she was really searching for help, telling her story, telling what she needed and had all these ideas of what and how she could do other things and what she would do until the next meeting and the next meeting came and she had never done anything. She had done, nothing. And the same thing over and over and over again.
She was so enthusiastic every time, and each time I thought now it’s going to happen. But nothing happened. And then after three months she just said goodbye and I don’t have time for this so I’m not going to take your time because I can’t do it.
I felt so bad because I could see she really needed it and I did feel that she did understand that she needed it. If she had just made that decision deep down in her mind to do it. I did try to connect with her again but she didn’t answer my calls or my emails and I felt so bad because I’d really wanted to help her and she needed the help badly.
I know that some people are not coachable but she didn’t seem like that kind of person. Anyway, time went by and about a year ago I met her again after network meeting and then she came over to me cheerful and joyful and smiling and she said:
“Oh, it’s so nice to meet you again Dr Annika, I want to tell you what happened after we worked together. You know I was so ashamed that I didn’t do what you told me to do or what I said I would do.” she said “I was so ashamed and when we didn’t have those discussions anymore I felt so lonely because I had really appreciated our calls, even though I didn’t do anything about it.”
“But not having you there actually made me realize that I had to do the work myself. It hadn’t gone all the way up in my mind that it was my responsibility to do all the things that we had been talking about and I had known it all the time but I hadn’t really taken it into my heart that that’s what was going on.”.
“So after we stopped talking and calling during the mentorship I did take the program again I did take all the worksheets that we had all the all the things I went through it again and again and again and slowly I figured this is what I need to do and this is how I can do it because you gave me all the tools I just didn’t take them, and then I didn’t take them by myself. I wish I had had the courage to call you again and and get your help once again. But I was too proud.” She said. “I couldn’t do that. I was way too proud. I didn’t really want to do that so I did it on my own.”.
And today the work this is going well and I’m at the same place. My family’s thriving, kids are good. They’re growing and things are good. I say I have a good life today and I thank you so much for all the help you did give me even though you didn’t see that at the time. Today I would say to everyone that you need to have a Dr Annika by your side to help you through the hardship because it’s worth so much to have someone to help you see what you really need and to give you the tools for it”.
So WOW! That was for me, really nice to hear. That meant that she was not uncoachable. She was coachable but she was a little bit slower in taking action and I was so happy to see her in this good state and for her kind words.
It is easier to make changes when you have someone holding your hand or being by your side and today I still help stressed out CEOs, executives and managers who are afraid to lose control of the stress, who are afraid of decreasing profits, afraid to lose their confidence and who may even be getting ill from the stress, because stress is not good for your mind or for your body.
I help them to reflect and to ponder about what they need to make a halt in life so that they can make the changes and then when they have identified their what they need to do to leave the hamster wheel so that they can be the big healthy, happy leader that they want to be.
If that is you then please feel free to click the link below and get a free Strategy Session session for about half an hour where we can see what your needs are and see what you have to do to get out of the hamster wheel. It’s all free so click the link below. Thank you.
This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish.AcceptRead More
Privacy & Cookies Policy
Privacy Overview
This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are as essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
