Hi, Dr. Anika Sorensen here from the blog Ask Dr. Annika where we help stressed out business leaders to become the calm, healthy, good working leaders they always dreamed to be.
Today I want to talk about a client that I had two years ago because I had a reconnection with him the other week. My client is a man called Lars who is 47 years old and working in a middle manager position with 25 people in his work group. He thinks that is a little bit too much.
I met him two years ago when he asked me to help him and it was more or less a coincidence that we did meet in the beginning but I soon realized that he was on the verge of burnout. He was really going to suffer a health collapse soon if he didn’t do anything about his situation. So, I asked him if he wanted to do something about it and he sure did.
He had never told anyone else about this so, on the outside you couldn’t really see that he wasn’t feeling that well especially if you don’t know what to look for. He hadn’t even told his wife how bad it was. Even though, I guess she, from what I understood from him she did see but they didn’t really put that out in the open in the family.
So I asked him what was the deal, what was the thing that helped you? Why are you such a happy business leader today and your group is working so fine?
What happened? Why? What was the biggest reason? And he said:
“Well the first thing was that you asked me how I was, and for the first time ever I told somebody and it was good that it was somebody outside my own personal circle. I told somebody how it really was and after I had done that it was like a stone fell off my heart. I didn’t realize that I had been carrying this great burden for such a long time and it was such a big release when I had it out in the open, when I could hear my own words and when I could hear myself talk about it.”
“The next thing you did was you asked me where are you heading? I had never thought about that. Really, well, probably I have thought about it before but that was not the issue at that time. My only concern was how do I get away from all the things that I didn’t want to deal with. So I was heading away from things not towards anything. You made me realize that you have to work towards something and then the things that you don’t want, they will eventually cease because you don’t put your focus on it. You get what you focus on. So that was a really big change in my work with the work group. It was a real eye opener.”
“And then when we were on track I was a bit hesitant, I must admit, about saying what I was heading towards because you asked me to make a one year leap or a one year goal and I couldn’t really see that far.” He said.
We discussed and I said “You have to see where you’re going towards and what direction you’re going but you don’t have to see the end goal at first. You can take one step at a time and it will come clear.”
The next thing he said was; “you forced me to take care of my sleep, of my food and of my physical activity so that I would get some energy, and you were so right that the way to get the energy is that you have to take care of yourself. After a while I felt so much better!”
“Next I started to make some changes within my work group.” and he said “I especially remember one thing because you asked me what I think about all the people in my network and there was this guy in my work group who was really good at what he was doing but he was not my kind of person and I sometimes had a hard time with that, especially when I didn’t feel well myself. You helped me to see that and learn how to tackle that too. How to keep him doing all the good stuff that he does and at the same time I could be around him without really just worrying all the time, which helped me a lot. We did a lot more changes to many different things.”.
“I also made some changes in my personal life, and I still have my family.”.
So now two years later he was happy. Things were going fine with work and he was still in the same position. They have increased their profitability in his group to double and it is a happy group and he loves his work.
Like I said he still had his family and the family life was also so much better now two years later.
It was it was for me very nice to catch up with him. It’s nice to see that the things, the little things that you do with your life that they can make such a big difference.
If you want help with your situation or you know somebody else who needs help with this situation then feel free to reach out. Just click the link below and we can connect and see if there is anything I could do for you too.
I’m so happy to be able to finally share the video of my Tedx PSU Berks talk from last November. It really was such an honour to be up there on stage in the company of all the other great speakers.
At this event I talked about harnessing our own power to overcome the stresses that we all suffer each and every day. As leaders in business we have to juggle so many different things and we are often trying to troubleshoot so many problems that it can be overwhelming. Adding to that trying to maintain and happy home life and social life then it’s no wonder that we can be left feeling exhausted mentally and physically.
The problem that most don’t realise is that it doesn’t matter how strong we think we are and it doesn’t matter how much we think we can cope with it all because stress is stronger and will eventually make us sick physically, and for sure, not be able to be at our best mentally.
That’s why stress management is so important for the leaders of today, for your workforce and just about everyone. It doesn’t matter if you’re a woman or a man and it doesn’t matter if you’re running a small business alone or the head of an international company because stress doesn’t discriminate.
We can’t run away from stress either or think we can get rid of it because we need it!
We just need to manage it so that we can work at our best at all times and live a happier and more relaxed life.
After suffering the effects of stress myself and seeing many patients become sicker and sicker through stress in my time as a medical doctor, I have made it my passion to help and educate leaders in the business world and beyond to help people lead a better life and become more successful in their work.
If you have a chance to support a Tedx event in your own town, I really do urge you to go. Not just to support the people who work so hard to put it together but to absorb the great knowledge and experience.
Here are a few pictures from the event….
This is not the end of my Tedx journey as I will be speaking at the TedxSanJuanIsland in June 2019 and I will update you of the schedule as soon as it’s released.
If you enjoyed this talk and think that this is something that could help you personally and/or in your workplace then please get in touch via the contact form or click here to book a free call with me.
Happy Holidays to everyone! I hope you’re enjoying the season of good will and being good to yourselves?
Just in case you’re not being so good or getting caught up in the stressful side of the holidays here’s three tips to keep your energy levels up and stress levels down:
Today I am out on my early morning walk and it’s not that bright outside here in Sweden. We are now past midwinters day which is the shortest day of the year and I’m really looking forward to the days and especially mornings getting gradually lighter!
At this time of the year where I live it’s usually raining and really dark and I’m so looking forward to this changing but I want to discuss is that even though it is dark and kind of tough to get out of bed it doesn’t serve you to stay in bed and quit the morning walk because the morning walk is your way to get the energy. For those of you who do that.
Also the the exercise you get from it and the moving of your body has so many other good benefits because your brain is made for walking and movement so don’t quit the morning walk or the lunch walk or the afternoon or evening walk., whatever you do even though it’s dark and raining outside like it is here right now.
The second thing that is for this time of the year, because the holiday season is coming up, is the food . We tend to overeat in the holidays because there is food everywhere. Lots of good food with a lot of fat in it and sugar and that tastes so much better. But that is cheating your energy levels..
Be careful of how much you eat. You can eat whatever you want but be careful out of the amount.
There are actually studies showing that the people who grow very old they eat less. I’ve heard so many of them being interviewed and they say they eat just below the level where they feel full.
When you do get over full from food you get tired because all your blood is going to your guts to digest it and you’ll get so tired in your head that it’s hard to do anything and that’s why we take a nap after lunch, right?
It’s ok to do it once or twice but if you do it all the time you’re cheating on your own energy.
The third thing that I always talk about this is the sleep, and I guess sleep is not the big problem at this time of the year, in this part of the world, because when it’s dark outside it’s easier to sleep a lot.
So for that reason I don’t think I need to discuss a lot about sleep today from this perspective.
It’s good to remember that things work the same way at any time of the year and so it is the same in the holiday season as it is the rest of the time. Your body wants to have regularity. That goes for both physical activity, food and sleep. So if you do change your sleeping pattern a lot during the holiday season you have to redo the work to set it in the right mode afterwards.
You can make that decision for yourself depending on how much hard work you want afterwards – that’s how much you can cheat on yourself. For me in the long run and in the end it’s always about having good energy, to live a full life every day and not just sit there and be tired because I’ve done too much of things that I really don’t enjoy that much or enough to make me feel drained so to speak.
When it comes to work at this time of year now that we are heading rapidly towards the holiday season it’s important to remember that you only need to do what’s really important.
Take a look at what you have on your to do list and figure out what’s really important and put things that can be postponed on another list. I call this list my list “parking lot” for things to happen and to do later. By doing this you won’t forget it but you don’t have to do everything before Christmas or the new year if you don’t really have to do it because now it’s also time to take care of your loved ones, all your family and your friends and whoever else you care for.
With that I just want to wish you a very happy holiday season and a Happy New Year.
If you follow my blog you might have noticed that I haven’t posted for a while, and that’s because I’ve had a lot of things going on behind the scenes including this beautiful new website. I’m still adding to it but you’ll notice lots of changes and hopefully a more user friendly way for you to get to know me and find the information you need.
On top of the new website I have been away speaking at several events in America including the highlight for me, which was speaking at TEDx PSU Berks to a wonderful audience. I can’t wait to share with you all the video but we’ll have to wait until the new year for that. To be first to get the link to watch it on release, just follow me on Instagram or Facebook.
So here I am now finally settled back in Sweden after travelling so much and already we are very fast heading towards the Christmas and New Year’s holiday season.
For a lot of people that means a lot of extra work because everything has to be done before New Year for different reasons and of course you do want to be nice at the same time because this is a time for celebration for many people.
You have all these Pre-Christmas parties, well at least we do have those in Sweden, so it’s a very hectic time and you want to finish up all the things that are going on in the business before the new year.
Today I want to give you some tips that you can use to help you relax a little bit, maybe be more efficient and to give you more time to do the fun stuff that you want to do.
The first tip I want to give you is to trust your gut feeling. If you feel that things are a special way then try to stick to what your feeling is and don’t try to look too much into it and just do whatever you need to do.
Also, if you do get into trouble with something, come across a problem or something that’s hard to do just do them right away because it’s not going to be any easier if you keep procrastinating. The problem will probably grow bigger, you will have a harder time getting it done and it will be more complicated. So the best thing is actually to do things right away when they pop up especially the ones that are hard.
Another thing to think about when there is so much to do is that there is not time for perfection. You do it good enough and that will be good enough. Of course you don’t want to do a really lousy job but you do not have to have it perfect, especially when there is so much to do at this time of the year.
Don’t try to please everyone. There will always be people in your surrounding that don’t get what you say or want it their own way and they do not want to do whatever you want to do, but if you are the boss then you are the one to decide. I’m not talking about being harsh or rude or anything but you can’t please everyone. That has never really happened when you’re talking about working with groups of people.
Another thing that can be very helpful at this time of the year is to ask for help if you need any because people are usually very willing to help you and that is especially the way at this time of the year. Lots of people want to be nice and also it’s no shame to ask for help. No one can do everything but everyone can do something. So if you need help ask for it and then you say thank you afterwards and everything will be fine and they will thank you for trusting them to do the things.
The last tip or thought that I want to share with you today is to try not to lose yourself in the details but to try to see the whole picture. In a workplace it is so much easier if someone has that overview. I usually refer to overview as taking a helicopter ride above the situation where you can see all the different parts and when you do see them then you know which things need to get done first or maybe there are things that you don’t even need to do when you take a look at things this way. Maybe they have outdated themselves along the way and you end up just doing it because it’s on your list and then you do it in vain, so to speak.
These are a few little tips or thoughts that I want to give to you when we are so quickly heading towards the holiday season because I want you to have a great time. Try to ponder a little about the things that I talked about here and maybe you’ll find one or two little golden nuggets that you can bring into your own life to make it so much easier.
I think that’s all for today. Remember if you do need help with anything when it comes to stress management for yourself at work or in relation to your work team then feel free to connect. You can click the link below to connect and we’ll have a chat. Until next time.
In this blog, I am going to talk about work-life balance. I’m just actually going to say that there is no such thing as a perfect work-life balance.
When you think about it you’ll probably agree because everyone is trying to figure out how to do it the best way and it’s supposed to be perfect and there is no perfect work-life balance. Work-life balance or balance in life is always up and down, and up and down and if you’re always striving to get it perfect you are going to miss life because it’s going to happen on the side of you while you are trying to get the perfect part of it.
Like I said there is no perfect part of it so what should you do instead?
What I hear from so many of my clients is that they talk about missing out on this work-life balance and they’re trying to figure out how to get it perfect.
In this episode, I’m going to talk about something that you have probably seen many times before. I’m gonna talk about what you would call a test.
Imagine I have a bottle of milk in my hand right now and it’s fair to say it’s not really heavy and it’s not that hard to carry around with me.
Like I said I wouldn’t say it’s heavy but if I keep carrying this around all day, every day do you think it will feel heavy after some time? I’m Sure you’ve seen this analogy before but this is a good reminder for us.
If you keep carrying even small stuff for a very long time it gets heavy whether you want to believe it or not.
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