Today I want to talk about a client I had a couple of years ago. It was three years ago that I met with this young lady called Ingrid.
She was only 33 years old and at home she had three younger kids. She was the middle manager of a work group of around 20 people.
Her life was crazy! There was so much to do and she was really trapped in the hamster wheel.
She reached out to me and we set up a mentor program for a three month meeting every second week over Zoom. Each time we had an hour together and she came every time to the meetings and she was really searching for help, telling her story, telling what she needed and had all these ideas of what and how she could do other things and what she would do until the next meeting and the next meeting came and she had never done anything. She had done, nothing. And the same thing over and over and over again.
She was so enthusiastic every time, and each time I thought now it’s going to happen. But nothing happened. And then after three months she just said goodbye and I don’t have time for this so I’m not going to take your time because I can’t do it.
I felt so bad because I could see she really needed it and I did feel that she did understand that she needed it. If she had just made that decision deep down in her mind to do it. I did try to connect with her again but she didn’t answer my calls or my emails and I felt so bad because I’d really wanted to help her and she needed the help badly.
I know that some people are not coachable but she didn’t seem like that kind of person. Anyway, time went by and about a year ago I met her again after network meeting and then she came over to me cheerful and joyful and smiling and she said:
“Oh, it’s so nice to meet you again Dr Annika, I want to tell you what happened after we worked together. You know I was so ashamed that I didn’t do what you told me to do or what I said I would do.” she said “I was so ashamed and when we didn’t have those discussions anymore I felt so lonely because I had really appreciated our calls, even though I didn’t do anything about it.”
“But not having you there actually made me realize that I had to do the work myself. It hadn’t gone all the way up in my mind that it was my responsibility to do all the things that we had been talking about and I had known it all the time but I hadn’t really taken it into my heart that that’s what was going on.”.
“So after we stopped talking and calling during the mentorship I did take the program again I did take all the worksheets that we had all the all the things I went through it again and again and again and slowly I figured this is what I need to do and this is how I can do it because you gave me all the tools I just didn’t take them, and then I didn’t take them by myself. I wish I had had the courage to call you again and and get your help once again. But I was too proud.” She said. “I couldn’t do that. I was way too proud. I didn’t really want to do that so I did it on my own.”.
And today the work this is going well and I’m at the same place. My family’s thriving, kids are good. They’re growing and things are good. I say I have a good life today and I thank you so much for all the help you did give me even though you didn’t see that at the time. Today I would say to everyone that you need to have a Dr Annika by your side to help you through the hardship because it’s worth so much to have someone to help you see what you really need and to give you the tools for it”.
So WOW! That was for me, really nice to hear. That meant that she was not uncoachable. She was coachable but she was a little bit slower in taking action and I was so happy to see her in this good state and for her kind words.
It is easier to make changes when you have someone holding your hand or being by your side and today I still help stressed out CEOs, executives and managers who are afraid to lose control of the stress, who are afraid of decreasing profits, afraid to lose their confidence and who may even be getting ill from the stress, because stress is not good for your mind or for your body.
I help them to reflect and to ponder about what they need to make a halt in life so that they can make the changes and then when they have identified their what they need to do to leave the hamster wheel so that they can be the big healthy, happy leader that they want to be.
If that is you then please feel free to click the link below and get a free Strategy Session session for about half an hour where we can see what your needs are and see what you have to do to get out of the hamster wheel. It’s all free so click the link below. Thank you.
