Just the word Christmas starts a lot of thoughts and feelings within most people. It often presses the “Stress Button” within since it is “supposed” to be the fun and healing time, but it more often tends to be the most stressful time of the year. It can be traditions to be faithful to, being alone without family, other people’s expectations and so much more. What is Christmas time for you? Today it is family time for me, but before it was just a lot of stress. I was in a rat race that I hated. But I found a solution. Here is my story:
When I was a kid I remember the hectic race going from one relative to the other on Christmas Eve. Some of them got annoyed because they thought we didn’t make the right priority in which order to visit them. We were supposed to exchange gifts and taste each other’s sweets. I never understood the fun in this – it was just a must because of other people’s expectations – and I was so relieved in the evening when we had our own Christmas evening – just for the closest family including grandparents.
When I got my own kids I decided I didn’t want to have them go through the same hassle. The first four years we did though because we lived far away and had to stick to the “family rules” when we went to visit. It was like travelling with a Circus having two small kids and all the things needed for them – thick winter clothes, diapers, strollers, toys etc. On top of all both were allergic to gluten and one also to milk protein so we had this big bag of special food and also a car-“refrigerator”. When we came back home after two weeks of that mess I was exhausted. But I had no more days off so I had to go back to work. It was a very hectic time.
Then a solution showed up. 1993 I gave birth to one more girl and while pregnant with her we bought our summer house. During that summer, pregnant and having two small children already I realized that the next Christmas trip to the relatives would be a disaster. I just could not see myself doing the same thing with 3 kids, among them one relatively newborn. Our summer house is “winter proof” and can accommodate a whole bunch of people.
So I came up with, what I thought, a genius idea:
ALL our relatives were told the same thing: We invite you all for Christmas, this Christmas and every Christmas ahead as long as we own the summer house. Everyone is welcome, just tell ahead. We also told them this is the only invitation you will ever get for this. We will not keep asking every year – but you are always welcome for Christmas.
Well, all relatives didn’t like it as much. This meant that THEY had to get out of their comfort zone and take action.
We have done this ever since. The first couple of years we were 10-15 people (everyone had to bring along some food to the meals we shared) and then it decreased. The latest years we have mostly been just our family and maybe my sister and her son. The grandparents are all gone.
Still today our kids makes sure early in the fall that we will be in the summer house for Christmas. That is the place where we all find the peace and where we all enjoy the silent, slow life that gives good family time together. And of course, this is the only place Santa Claus knows of.
So this year’s Christmas will be our 22nd in the summer house. None of our girls live at home anymore but they have ordered Christmas in the summer house this year too. For real family time.
This is my story how we created Christmas peace.
What is your story or your best tip for Christmas peace? Please tell below. I love reading your comments!
To your success – and keep smiling!
