Stress is often one of the few things we perceive as an unwelcome guest. We consider it an ‘adversary’ to our well-being. But what if I told you there’s a side of it that can be your ally and can actually help you achieve new heights?
Let’s dive into the world of positive stress and uncover the transformative power it holds for stressed-out business leaders.
Cultivating a Mindset that Welcomes Positive Stress
Positive stress is something often overlooked in the complicated world of stress. But in reality… it’s actually behind every motivation and growth. Positive stress urges you to stretch beyond your comfort zone so you can grow and reach your maximum potential.
A SIMPLE REFRAMING
A simple reframing or a change in mindset can help you embrace the power of positive stress. And in the end, instead of viewing it as a hindrance, you will start seeing it as a challenge, or a motivating factor that pushes you to think out of the box, to be creative, and to grow both personally and professionally.
So if you’re looking for a way to open the door to the realm of possibilities, you can begin with a simple shift in perspective.
Positive Stress-Driven Achievements
Remember your most significant achievements? What drove you to accomplish them? Was it because you just love what you do and you’re passionate about it? Or was it because there’s something you cannot exactly pinpoint, but there’s this urge that pushes you to perform beyond what you thought your capabilities were?
That’s positive stress. It’s the urge that you feel, the urge that drives you to accomplish something because you have to, but at the same time NOT let it control you.
AN EXAMPLE TO THINK ABOUT
Did you need to finish something within the given tight deadline? It’s stressful, but you’ve done it anyway, You’ve done it stressed, but you gave your best anyway, and then you got astounding results.
The project timeline stressed you out, but because you know where the balance lies… You harnessed it into positive stress, giving you mind-blowing results!
Positive stress compels you to rise to the occasion, tapping into your hidden talents or potential you might not have known existed.
It transforms challenges into opportunities, and turns the ‘ordinary’ into the ‘extraordinary’.
IF YOU KNOW WHERE THE Balance LIES.
Ah, yes, the balance… ‘What about balance?’
As always, “balance” is the key to everything, and it’s the same here. We all know how positive stress becomes ‘counterproductive’ when it tips the scales into distress, so it is important that you know your thresholds and that you can recognize when stress transforms from invigorating to overwhelming so you do not get drowned by it.
Imagine the case given above, had you let the stress eat you alive… Would you have met the tight deadline? Maybe yes, maybe not, or maybe yes but not as great as the results you got.
So it’s always important to never forget about…
Resiliency and Adaptability
There is also no denying that resiliency and adaptability must always be present when it comes to leadership.
Your active positive stressors also activate your brain’s problem-solving capacities and enhance your cognitive function, which, in turn, not only improves decision-making but also fortifies your mental resilience.
REMEMBER YOUR TEAM
Leadership is also NEVER a solo act, but a combination of diverse talents coming together.
Imagine being stressed on your own; you sometimes just couldn’t find the courage to face it. But imagine when the stress is shared, you and your team also share the “grit” to solve the cause of the stress or issue.
POSITIVE STRESS: WHEN USED CORRECTLY
When harnessed right, positive stress can create an environment where every member is driven, motivated, and invested in ONE shared goal. So as a leader, it’s vital that you encourage a culture that views challenges not as stumbling blocks but as opportunities for collective growth.
You can foster team unity, and propel everyone to work towards shared success, all with the power of positive stress.
Embracing the Thrive
Witness how positive stress is the bedrock of adaptability and resiliency. That even when you sometimes feel like the path seems uncertain, you thrive? So as you lead, remember the power that positive stress holds in uniting and empowering your team!
Ready to embrace the thrive? Join me on this journey, where challenges are opportunities, and stress is not a hurdle but a stepping stone.
Two words: Grief, and Memories. Two words with different meanings but will always be bound to be together as after the grief, comes the memories. The question is, are you willing to let the grief turn into beautiful recollections or let it eat you and lose yourself in the process?
MY STORY
May 27, 1987, when I was in Labor. My first child, our first child – was on her way out of me. The pregnancy had been really tough. I was very nauseated and I didn’t think that I was growing enough.
I was a medical student and the people around me told me that I was just reading too much and putting much into it, but I didn’t have any kids prior so I don’t really don’t know well. To be fair, I didn’t know of course, because it was my first pregnancy. But there was something that was kind of held off…
Anyway, back to the story – on May 12, 35 years ago… Our daughter was born and she came out tiny. Dave, my husband, ran out with her right to the intensive care just not telling us anything and after some hours I gotta see her in the breathing machine with all those needles and things all over her little body in this little glass box, and that’s where she was until when she was three weeks old.
That time was tough. I was staying in the maternity ward without a child with me so I got all the glances as if I wasn’t supposed to be there so I really had no support. It was like everybody expected me to know everything just because I was a medical student – forgetting that I was also just a new mother with a newborn who was very ill.
MY JOY AND MY GRIEF
Fast forward to when I got to bring her home – she was 3 weeks old and I was breastfeeding – everything seemed to work perfectly at the beginning. We were even able to bring her out with us for the first time in her 4th week after living her first few weeks in the hospital. Then comes the unexpected… Heart failure at seven weeks.
What in the world? I knew there was something off but I just couldn’t pinpoint what it was. I was a first-time mother but it is true after all, you get the maternal instincts immediately so you better listen to your feelings despite what others think.
Since the heart failure, it was then figured that she’s got a kidney problem caused by a genetic disorder – and the worst thing??? No treatment is available! So what were our options? Maybe a transplant, they said. But I was a medical student, and I know that the chance of that working is close to none and that we were just provided that option because everyone around me believed that everything was going to be okay.
INTO THE DEEP DARK HOLE
When she was nine weeks old, my brother who had schizophrenia for around 10 years committed suicide – my and my family’s world fell apart.
Another week went by, there were all these preparations for my brother’s funeral, and then exactly one week later on the Monday that my brother died, my baby daughter, all of a sudden died too.
What happened to me???? You’d never want to imagine. Just into a black hole – a very, very, very black hole. And that was the most stressful thing I could ever think that would happen. I was in bed for two days, and couldn’t even get out to go to my brother’s funeral.
THE GOOD SAMARITAN
Two days later, a neighbor of mine dragged me out just to go to the shop to buy some bread and share some moral lessons. Yes, that was a very tough time for me. When I was out on the streets, all the people I came across didn’t know how to treat me – like the moment they see me they’ll just go to the other side (I couldn’t blame them, maybe they did not know what to say), but of course, all I wanted was for them to say “Hi, I see you, I hear you, I am here” – but then maybe again, easier said than done.
MY FIRST STEP TO HEALING
I then grabbed one of my friends to come with me to a store – to buy my FIRST black dress. Yes, it was my first black dress as I have never in my life worn one – it just ain’t my color. So I put the black dress on, and for some reason, it felt good, like a relief.
Reason being? Grief process. As I’ve said, never in my life have I worn a black dress (blue, and shades near that are more of “me” than black is), so the feeling of wearing that black dress for the first time kind of put me in a bubble-like it was just a dream – but in reality, my first step of going through the “Grieving Process”.
My brother’s funeral… Then came the funeral of my little baby – it was beautiful. I wanted to take the casket home, but my husband reminded me to let go and keep her in a “good memory” for ourselves.
SLOWLY BUT SURELY…
We then went on a trip where I realized that it probably was the second step of my grieving process – just feeling it, but this time, beautifully and with acceptance. Do you know how soothing it feels to just be slow on the road, and be out in the wilderness? It was therapeutic: Nature, fresh air, and just getting out there to breathe.
Fast forward to a couple of months after everything – I finally was able to take my real (last) exam, got my medical license, got a job, and started working. Yay! Everything’s slowly, but surely getting better.
MY REALIZATIONS
Every day before going to sleep, I think and reflect on everything – and in the end, I decided to take care of myself, have a daily routine, eat good food, and exercise. While doing all these, I realized that “self-care” is actually my way of dealing with my stress, and can actually be considered “treatment”, or basically, a way to de-stress.
Then came the realization: If I who had all these what I could say were beyond worse experiences, was able to get out of that deep dark hole and get back up, what’s the reason others can’t?
Maybe they find it hard because they don’t know what to do, maybe they have no strong support system, or maybe, it’s just because they lack the awareness of what self-care can do.
SELF-CARE and ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
Self-care doesn’t mean doing everything by yourself. Acknowledging that you need help from other people is also a form of self-care. As the famous John Donne says, “No Man Is an Island”.
So as someone who’s committed to self-care, I scheduled sessions with a psychologist, to further help me get better by providing the necessary support that I need. As someone working in healthcare to tend to other people, I must make sure that I myself am well-cared for.
IMPORTANCE OF HONESTY
One important thing in all these is for you to remember the importance of being honest and out in the open with someone you trust who in my case was my back the psychologist.
Being honest and open just makes everything better. An unexpected strong support system comes in, and you’ll be surprised how big of a help they’re going to partake in your journey.
UNTIL ONE DAY…
You’ll just be shocked how the grief has turned into wonderful memories and beautiful stories with a lot of lessons you’re going to take with you for the rest of your life. That everything may not be back to where it’s supposed to be, but at least you know that now, it’s better.
As for me, it was a time that I could freely talk about her, and every time I mention her I imagined her photo attached to the wall together with ours – and who would have known that after that, I got three more beautiful girls.
THE LESSON
Grieving can be good, as it is the first step in the process of healing. We grieve for a lot of different things or reasons, and it may keep us from moving forward – but we must remember that nobody heals without going through its tormenting process.
Allow yourself to grieve, until you can one day accept the way things are, and then you can live with it in peace, knowing that what caused your grief once, has now turned into a beautiful recollection of the past.
YOU ARE NOT ON YOUR OWN
Whatever it is, always remember you’re not on your own and that people are just waiting for you to ask. Plus, there is no harm in asking.
We, humans, are more alike than we think, more than we can imagine.
Surprising, isn’t it?
While we all think we’re so different, we’ll be surprised with the info that we’re not.
But how’s that even possible?
To begin with, the differences are just really minor differences such as the countries we come from, the languages we talk, or our physical features.
But boil it down to beliefs, and cultures, dig deep down and we’re still more alike than different.
WHAT’S INSIDE US
We all have the same basic biology, regardless of color or gender, we’re all exactly the same inside.
The stress hormone systems that we have are all exactly the same and work the same. So really, we could all look so differently outside but looking deeper, we’re not.
HUMANS ARE HERD ANIMALS
Do you know that a person can change so much in an instant?
It’s true. Observe someone you know, and focus on how that person interacts with different types of groups, does that person act all the same?
I know a lot of people, who have different groups of people, and in one group they are quiet and more preserved because that’s the way their group works, and in the other, they’d be super energetic, doing whatever.
It’s like seeing a person with different versions, and the version depends on the crowd they are with.
Why? Because we all have our basic parrot padding and we mimic the ones we have around us. We are herd animals and we want to be like the rest of the group because that is how we are trained, how we’re taught.
Remember your childhood? You were taught to act like the adults around you.
Well, we still do that now, unconsciously, we tend to act like those who are around us.
THE SCIENCE BEHIND HUMANS
Biology is universal by logic. We were only brought up differently from childhood but in reality, we haven’t changed in 200,000 years, why would we change in a lifetime that we don’t?
“No, we are all still different, my belief is different from theirs, from yours.”
I know, that’s how it is and I’ve nothing against that. To each his own, right?
What I’m only saying is…
A belief is a choice, and at any second of the day, we can choose something different, we can change what we believe in.
If you choose to believe in something negative in the morning, you can just quickly change that and choose to believe in something positive in the afternoon.
WE HAD NO CHOICE when we were kids – that is the time in our lives when we are shaped in so many ways
TAKE LANGUAGE FOR EXAMPLE
I have always been amazed by the fact that children in other countries speak THEIR language fluently when I know how hard it is to learn a second language.
Of course, they did not speak Swedish but I did not reflect on it that way when I was younger.
Today I know that a healthy child just HAS TO learn the language spoken around them when they are babies.
That is how our biology works – they just do learn in the first couple of years – they have no stop mechanism for that.
Imagine what that means! What if I in Sweden gave birth to 5 babies – and they stayed with me they would all speak Swedish when they grew up? If the father in my family would be native English speaking, the children would be bi-lingual – not by choice but by rule. And they would have adopted the Swedish English traditions that we feed them with.
AND if we had sent those 5 babies away right after birth to 5 different continents, with totally different languages and traditions they would have no knowledge of Swedish or English and they would have totally different basic traditions in their way of living.
And if these 5 persons met in later years – they would look alike but have no common language.
Get the idea?
WE WEREN’T GIVEN MANY CHOICES, WE WERE MOLDED
What did I want to say with this: We weren’t really given much choice and we were raised and molded instead by people around us when we were kids.
But now, WE CAN CHOOSE WHO WE WANT TO BE, WE CAN EVEN CHOOSE WHO WE SURROUND OURSELVES WITH.
YOU YESTERDAY, OR YOU TODAY?
Do you want to be that person from yesterday or start finding the real you today?
No matter what, remember that despite the tiny differences we have, WE ARE MUCH MORE ALIKE.
So, be kind to one another and treat everyone with respect.
HUMANS ALIKE, THE SAME STRESS SYSTEM
Regardless of the minor differences…We all have the same stress system that steers our basic behavior.
Biology needs us to be like herd animals to survive – that makes us look for people who are alike – because with similar people we feel safer. And when we are alike we reassure each other with what we do and we do the same.
This ends up in groups that will do good and also in groups that will do bad.
Since we encourage each other in a group to do the same – by those biological laws – a group that is hostile towards others can do a lot of harm – to be accepted in the group.
WHAT WE LONG FOR
As individuals we long for appreciation, to be seen – it is a basic need to survive. First of all, appreciation of who we are, just as that.
If we don’t get that appreciation, we search for appreciation for what we do – good things, hard work, good grades, work, etc. because we want and need to be seen.
If that doesn’t work either – then we start doing bad things – just to be seen. And if necessary we do really bad things to reach the goal. Or it might end up in suicide – that is how strong this drive is.
And this basic personal need is then put into the group mechanism and we have all these tragic things going on and all the hatred towards others – just because it works this way
And all we wanted was to be seen…
WHAT HAPPENS TO OUR BRAIN WHEN STRESSED
One can say we have 3 layers in our brain system: The Reptile Brain, the Limbic System, and the Logical Brain.
The Reptile Brain stands for our automatically regulated functions – like keeping blood sugar levels right, temperature, hunger, and that heart beating – all basic functions that we cannot control with our will. It works on instinct – and when it is in charge we don’t think clearly or reflect – we just do.
The Limbic System is where our center for feelings is (aka the mammal brain). This is where our behavior is steered by feelings – like if you feel sad you feel an urge for comfort food and think of going to get some sweets or so. You do things to lessen the bad or sad feelings and it can make you do dumb things just to silence your feelings.
The Logical Brain is the one we use for all thinking, with a will, cognition, memory, processing of sensory input, and abstractions, but what’s interesting is the logical brain can quickly throw us into our mammal or reptile brains.
For example, if we read a scary part in that book it might throw us back into the mammal brain to seek comfort, go eat something for example, or it might throw us all the way into the reptile brain where we have the feeling of fear.
It is within these layers of our brain that we live and the more insecure you are the more likely it is that you are in the inner two layers – bouncing between feelings and instinct action – and this is not the place where we feel happiness or health or wealth.
Our logical brain requires a lot of energy and when we are stressed it’s the first part to shut down, which means that it turns into the mammal brain by automation and that deprives us of making conscious decisions and makes us more prone to follow old set biological programs that were installed in us in our childhood as I talked about earlier.
If we go on with the stress, we will go into the brain fog and it stops working – we then just work on instinct – we have hit the stress wall.
So, now that you can see how simple our basic biology is and still how extremely hard it is to navigate all these laws to stay healthy, less stressed, and be able to look at all other creatures = people whatever different they look like – and accept them as equal.
I’ll repeat again –
Be kind to one another and treat everyone with respect. And since all we want is to be seen… show appreciation to everyone around you.
Here’s access to a more step-by-step guide on self-development: Access Here!
This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish.AcceptRead More
Privacy & Cookies Policy
Privacy Overview
This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are as essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
