In today’s digital age, progress and pressure often go hand in hand. But fret not, as we embark on a journey not just to manage but to master digital stress, unlocking doors to sustained success in our fast-paced world.
Decoding Digital Stress: Our Uninvited Companion
In this era of perpetual connectivity, we frequently grapple with digital stress, an unexpected companion in our lives. The first step to managing it is acknowledging its presence. Digital stress is here to stay, but we can redefine our relationship with it.
Unmasking the Culprits of Digital Stress
To conquer digital stress, much like general stress, we must unveil its culprits. The constant barrage of emails, the relentless cycle of virtual meetings, and the ceaseless bombardment of notifications—these are the daily stressors we face. By comprehending them, we can begin to mitigate their impact on our well-being and performance.
Strategies for Digital Stress Mastery: Your Personal Arsenal
Our journey towards digital stress resilience commences with mindful choices and practical strategies:
Digital Detox: Unplug and rejuvenate. Regular digital detoxes are vital for restoring balance.
Email Empowerment: Regain control over your inbox with techniques like email batching and designated response times.
Mindful Presence: Infuse mindfulness into your daily routine to stay grounded amid the digital whirlwind.
Prioritization and Delegation: Effective leadership involves prioritizing tasks and delegating responsibilities to stay focused on strategic goals.
Cultivating a Digital Stress-Resilient Culture
You’re not alone on this journey. Cultivating a culture of digital stress resilience within your organization is pivotal. Encourage healthy boundaries, champion work-life balance, and provide resources for stress management. A resilient team is a high-performing team.
Leading by Digital Stress Mastery: Setting the Example
As leaders, we set the tone! By mastering digital stress management and leading by personal example, we not only safeguard our well-being but also inspire our teams to follow suit. Become a beacon of digital stress resilience, guiding your organization towards healthier digital practices.
Facing The New Reality
Let’s be honest; the Digital Age is our new reality, and digital stress is its companion.
Yet, as leaders, we are adaptable, resilient, and empowered to conquer this challenge. Understand digital stressors, apply effective strategies, and foster a culture of digital stress resilience. Embrace the Digital Age, master digital stress, and lead your organization to new heights.
Is it even possible to master the art of stress management and sail through life’s challenges unscathed? Can we truly prevent stress from taking its toll on our well-being and productivity?
STRESS IS PART OF OUR LIVES
Let’s face the facts: Stress is an inescapable part of our lives. It’s an inherent biological response that surfaces when life’s demands surpass our capacity to handle them effectively.
So, what’s the game plan?
Instead of chasing the elusive dream of a stress-free life, our focus should be on managing stress effectively to maintain our physical and mental equilibrium. Stress only becomes problematic when it exceeds what our bodies naturally require.
The Power of Living in the Present Moment
What does it mean to live in the here and now? It’s a crucial skill, especially when stress threatens to overwhelm us. Instead of letting future worries consume us, we pause, take a deep breath, and immerse ourselves in the present moment.
This practice acts as a shield against anxiety and panic attacks. While some individuals are naturally gifted with this ability, others might need a bit more practice.
Start with just 3-5 minutes of daily mini-meditation or engage in simple breathing exercises. Gradually, extend this practice to 10 minutes and beyond.
Uncovering the Root Causes of Stress
Living in the moment helps during periods of heightened stress, but once the storm subsides, it’s crucial to uncover the root causes of your stress.
What triggered it? Can you make changes to prevent or minimize these triggers in the long run?
Delve deep and unveil the truth. Initiate the necessary adjustments to prevent the triggers from recurring. This proactive approach will safeguard you from a repeat performance.
The Long-Term Toolkit
In acknowledging that stress is a perpetual part of our lives,
I’ve discernedthree critical components in the long-term toolkit:
Mindset: Are you mentally equipped to initiate the necessary changes? Without the right mindset, taking action can be an uphill battle.
Energy: Cultivating a healthy lifestyle provides a wellspring of energy. Stress can be immensely draining; hence, maintaining robust physical and mental health is paramount for resilience.
Your External Ecosystem: Your external world plays a pivotal role in the long run. Surround yourself with positive, supportive individuals who contribute to your overall well-being.
Insights from Neuroscience
Neuroscience elucidates a fundamental truth: “Our brains are wired to focus on a single task at a time.”
Multitasking is an illusion, and active engagement in your thoughts trumps a sudden amygdala hijack any day.
Hence, the ‘here and now’ or ‘in the moment’ strategies, as mentioned above, bestow your brain with brief yet invaluable respites, rendering you calmer and more effective. It’s a simple yet potent tool at your disposal.
Elevating Your Energy
Enhancing your energy or increasing your potential capacity is non-negotiable. With more energy, you’ll handle stress better. And for those moments when it all seems overwhelming…
Consider these pragmatic tips:
Delegate tasks or consider outsourcing.
Prioritize sleep, nutrition, and exercise to bolster your physical and mental well-being.
A Bonus Tip: The Healing Power of Journaling
Here’s a bonus suggestion: journaling. Set the mood with some soothing music, pick up your pen, and let your thoughts flow onto the paper. The act of writing facilitates reflection, planning, and release. It empowers you to delve into what stresses you, your goals, your current status, your action plan, and your emotions.
This practice translates into more effective implementation.
Imagine being at the peak of your career… and then you got pregnant, or you realize it’s the time you want to get pregnant and have a baby.
How would you feel?
PREGNANCY STIGMA IN THE WORKPLACE
Although not admitted, we all know the quiet stigma of pregnancy in the workplace. Pregnancy will cause work delays, there are expected “unexpected” (you get it) leaves, and then the maternity leave causes more delay…
Hence, the avoidance of hiring pregnant women, unless really necessary.
But what about those at the peak of their career?
SOMETIMES, IT FEELS LIKE THEIR WORLD SUDDENLY STOPS.
A little backstory here by the way. The reason this came to my mind right now is that I got my second grandchild recently – a healthy little boy — and the pregnancy journey of my daughter has evoked a lot of memories, or flashbacks, from my own birth-giving time and the stress plus anxiety during those years.
We have different stories, BUT THE BASICS ARE ALMOST THE SAME.
We at some point ask ourselves the same question… or the first question when planning motherhood – is it ever a specific RIGHT TIME?
No!
You will never know how long it will take to become pregnant.
Sometimes, you just need one intimate moment and sometimes people try for years. So it is very hard to plan A SPECIFIC TIME.
Then come to our careers.
IS THERE EVEN A PERFECT TIME?
No!
And since you can’t plan the time to become pregnant it is impossible to plan a time in your career too. Which leaves it to…
“Just start trying to get pregnant when you start thinking of it – and when it happens – adjust your life to what’s possible then.”
I GAVE BIRTH TO 4 GIRLS — WITHIN 6 YEARS.
I myself have given birth to 4 girls – all within 6 years.
As you might know, if you have looked at my website or heard any of my TEDx talks, our first daughter died at only 10 weeks old, as she had a severe genetic illness…
During my pregnancy with her, I was at the far end of my medical school time and it was tough to study but I was not really stressed.
Next pregnancy, yes all 3 next ones were very stressed – we had a 25 % risk of the baby having the same disorder as the first one – and that was a very stressful experience. But somehow, I kept saying – it is a 75% chance it is okay – and that kept me going, working my first years as a doctor.
These are my experiences – and I guess you have stories to share too.
WORKING PREGNANT CAN BE A BIT OF A STRETCH… IN ANY JOB.
In Sweden, it is probably okay in most jobs, even though some probably still think women shall stay home.
We have rules too. For example, working on call in health care, you don’t have to take nights in the last 3 months.
I have met patients as well who have had a hard time also working in a store – it is heavier when you are pregnant and if your surroundings don’t support you – it can be tough.
Not to mention what I’ve just talked about – the office stigma, like being pregnant while working in the office is too sloppy.
WE MAY NOT HAVE THE SOLUTION TO THIS, BUT…
I can cheer you on! Without new children to the world, we shrink as a species…
It is, as in so many other cases, affecting half the population.
MEDICALLY SPEAKING…
You can work during the pregnancy – not lift heavy, or do something out of the ordinary things your body’s used to. And of course, still all with extra care.
And given that there are all these pregnancy stigmas, worries and fears, and the feeling of getting “limited”…
Always remember:
YES, CAREER AND PREGNANCY CAN GO TOGETHER PERFECTLY.
As long as you take proper care of yourself by NOT STRESSING too much, keeping the balance in between – eating right, sleeping right, and resting right…
You can still thrive in the workplace. And as to the stigmas… best to shrug them off and do your thing.
You know how when it comes to success and other things, most people say it’s all about the mindset? It works the same with stress management. Mindset can also be key.
And while sometimes it seems that you have nothing else to do about the amount of stress you experience – regardless of its source, there actually are a ton of steps you can take to help you regain control of your emotions.
But first…
WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO MANAGE STRESS?
It might not seem like it or maybe it just doesn’t cross your mind… but constantly living with a high amount of stress level puts you and your well-being at risk by jeopardizing both emotional and sometimes, even physical health too.
Stress is annoying, it makes you feel like you’re out of control – and you feel like there’s an endless to-do list and there’s not enough time – plus the fact that you’re distracted due to the stress that you’re feeling… it’s all becoming a blur.
You make more mistakes or you keep re-doing things because you have less focus, you make bad or unthought-out decisions, or you feel like you just can’t function at all.
BUT YOU HAVE CONTROL, YOU JUST HAVE TO LEARN HOW
Yes, you can regain control – you always have it within you. You just have to learn how to tap on it whenever you need to.
It is in how you reframe your MINDSET, and before you think of anything I just want to say – I understand if you mistrust me here but hear me out first.
STRESS MANAGEMENT KICKS IN…
Helping you get out of that negative spiral and find a positive spiral. Where your ultimate goal may be to get a balanced life, get enough time for your work and family, and have fun things – all of it. And you will be more resilient to hurdles along the way.
And, IT IS IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER…
There is no one-size-fits-all solution in this so you have to figure out what YOU need.
Here are a few tips and tricks to choose froM
1. Identifying what stresses you out – in your life.
When you know your stress triggers, it will be easier to avoid them, or even address them once you’re ready.
2. Having and keeping a stress diary at hand.
A great way to start is to make a stress diary. When writing things down, they become clearer in our minds. We can look at the whole picture and compare and re-organize until we feel – this is how it is!
A stress diary can be made with a structure where you in boxes write about situations – feelings around the situations – how you have tried to solve them before – and the result.
3. Being true to yourself.
The most important thing when identifying and reflecting on your emotions is to always keep it real by being true to yourself, and a way to do that is to accept your feelings and approach them from a third-party perspective by trying to separate emotions from decisions, so you can think rationally and without bias caused by emotions.
Getting those out of your way can make a world of difference.
4. Identifying what helps in making you feel better.
When you have identified your stressors and have noticed you started to feel better, immediately try to track or figure out what helped in making you feel better. Having this at hand can really change too much before you start dwelling on more negative thinking.
ALWAYS REMEMBER, THOUGH...
Stress is an automatic response in our systems – and these responses come whether we want them or not.
Sometimes, or most of the time, they come at the most unexpected times so knowing how to deal with them is really needed.
In addition to the above…
Here are 4 actions you can take when a stressor comes:
1. Avoid & Learn to Say No
This is good to do when we talk about toxic people.
On the other hand, it is not advisable to avoid things that need to be addressed because then they will become limiting beliefs in you. So it’s still crucial to know which are to be avoided and which are to be solved, and to do that, reflect on the pros and cons.
2. Alter was the second word
Finding ways to alter your behavior and actions can help you move on. Compromise, and who knows, maybe you can find new ways or some other way to make things work better.
3. Adapt.
If you can’t change the situation you have to change yourself to get a new result. Look at the bigger picture and identify what is important or what needs to be changed vs. what needs to be accepted and adjusted.
4. Accept
Acceptance is one of our prime stress management tools. If you can’t change things, you just need to accept and that is how it is – accepting that you can do nothing about that fact except you can change your mind about it and find other ways.
TAKE A BREAK, PAUSE & BREATHE
When things are hard, go back to the basics… which is to take a break so you can pause, relax and breathe.
Look and focus on the good things and find ways to grow. When you’re refreshed, you’ll find it easier to think.
FORGIVE…
Forgive – yourself and others.
Always keep in mind that in this life and even in the next, everyone makes mistakes and some of those mistakes may affect us. Try to free yourself from that negative energy and move on, as it is not worth it to go down that pit hole…
TRY SAYING YOUR FEELINGS OUT LOUD
Put words on your feelings, as saying them out loud can help make you feel so much better than just letting the thoughts stay in your mind.
Talk to friends you trust – or with a therapist if you feel it is too personal to share with your tribe.
Another great help if stress creeps up on you…
is to start MOVING YOUR BODY.
Moving eats stress hormones as the stress hormones are then used as energy.
At the same time, moving creates energy that enlightens your brain toward positivity. With that, comes clearer thinking because of the gift we got then back 200,000 years ago.
SMILING HELPS
Smiling helps as it gives you the “feel-good” hormones. It is contagious and can make people feel good too when they see you smile — and because of the mirror neuron theory… It creates a ripple effect.
DON’T LOSE YOUR SENSE OF HUMOUR.
Laugh if you can and when you can, even if that means laughing at yourself, and lastly…
TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOUR HEALTH
Because our mind, body, and souls remain connected inside us.
And as you notice…
I always come back to the mindset over and over again…
Do you always keep seeing online too or keep hearing from some people how they say it’s all about mindset?
Mindset, mindset, mindset…
Some people find this line already too used, or they even link it at times to toxic positivity. But let’s face it! If it’s not about that, then what?
Let’s first take a deeper look at what it really means.
YOUR MINDSET
One’s mindset is how one sets his/her established set of attitudes, philosophy, and values… or how one conditions their mind to react in certain situations.
HOW MINDSET IS APPLIED IN EVERYTHING
Let’s say you want a nice body but you don’t want to exert an effort into it because you do not see that the effort would be worth it – the focus of your mindset is “it’s not gonna be worth it”, you’ve sent your mind into that belief so you’re not willing to do anything to achieve your dream body.
On the other hand, let’s say you want that body really bad, and your mind is set on “getting that dream body, no matter how hard” – that’s still your mindset!
See the difference?
EVERY ACTION YOU DO IS BASED ON YOUR MINDSET
Every action you do – or in the example above – not do, is based on how you shift your mindset.
How you react to challenges and situations, is also based on your mindset. Hence, no matter what some people say about how used this line is already, or how they link it to toxic positivity…
At the end of the day – still – it’s all about the mindset.
A NEGATIVE MINDSET IS STILL A MINDSET
We are just humans, and it’s very mundane for us to sometimes dwell on our negative thoughts instead of the positive ones, and that’s okay! Our thoughts are not rational so we can sometimes get eaten with our negative thoughts…
And this is when we must learn to channel our self-control. It can be started with a short meditation, or by just having a quiet time where we discuss our thoughts with ourselves and try our best to see them from a third-party angle – which means, if there are no emotions attached – how would we view the situation?
That is how we try to rationalize our thoughts. And yes, it requires willpower and consistent practice.
EMOTIONS ARE CONTAGIOUS
We, humans, have this mirror neuron system that mirrors the actions and behavior of others.
So, in case you find it hard to find the willpower within you, try to be with people who you know have practiced that area so that you can slowly learn from them and unconsciously adapt their positive mindset.
WHY HAVING A POSITIVE MINDSET IS IMPORTANT
I’ve always seen people calling a positive mindset a toxic trait of someone because of how they fail to acknowledge the emotions of others or have the tendency to turn a blind eye to their surroundings.
I see this as something very interesting…
HAVING A POSITIVE MINDSET DOESN’T MEAN NOT CARING.
When someone has this positive mindset, it doesn’t mean that they invalidate everything around them – such as the problems, emotions, or crises we’re all facing.
It just simply means that they know how to separate emotions from reality.
I myself, before I react to certain situations, ask myself this question:
“Is it within my control, or is there anything I can do at all to change it to make it better?”
If there’s none and nothing at all, I wouldn’t waste my energy and emotions on it – instead – find other areas where I can contribute.
And that’s being positive. For me, that is just rational, as it helps me remove the trivial things and contribute more to the things where I really have something to add, instead of just complaining about things out of my control.
That may be toxic positivity for some – but that is “my” mindset.
HAVING THE RIGHT MINDSET CAN BE THE KEY TO LONGEVITY
When your mind is set properly on the right things, you’ll be motivated to have the discipline to do the things necessary to achieve the things you’ve set your mind to.
So when you have set your mind to living as long as you can, you’d do anything to get that: eating healthy foods, getting the right amount of exercise, living a life with less stress, and more.
You’ll even see old people literally more fit than some younger ones, and it’s because of how they lived their lives when they were younger, as they probably have already set their minds to living a long and happy life.
So, with the right mindset, you can develop the discipline to do the things necessary to achieve what you want.
GET HELP IF YOU NEED
If it feels hard to decide what you want to do on your own – get a mentor. Reach out if you need help. It is always important and there will always be things that you can support.
Check HERE to see if you feel like we’re a good fit.
Post-event blues… what are they and how do we deal with them?
A STORY TO SHARE
Some years ago, I was in the States and I was gonna speak for the Swedish-American Chamber of Commerce.
It was a big thing for me to travel and have a talk somewhere in the middle of nowhere…
And I had arranged with the lady holding the event that she would come and get me at this specific time in the evening…
And past 15, then 30 minutes after the agreed time – nobody’s still coming.
I sent messages and called until she finally got back to me and said:
“Oh, I didn’t think we were in a hurry. I’ve been here at this location and we’re all fine so I’ll come and get you in a little while.” And I was like, “what happened to our agreed-upon time?”
Fast forward to where I already got picked up, and all of us have settled at the place where we’re supposed to stay… and the day that I presented.
THE DAY OF MY PRESENTATION
I did my presentation, sold a few books, and went back to my hotel.
Then… It was quite late in the evening, and I was exhausted, really really exhausted because there had been so much tension – when she didn’t come to get me on time, other things after that, and then the presentation itself.
Went to bed straight away and fell asleep.
THE MORNING AFTER
The morning after my presentation…I surprisingly felt so depressed.
I just cried for so long feeling so low. Went down to the lobby to get breakfast, brought it up to the room, and just continued crying while not really understanding what was going on.
WHAT I DID DURING THE BLUES
I sent a message to my speaker mentor, saying I don’t know what was happening and what was going on but that I was just sooo sad and I received the response that it was all normal and advised me to just relax, take a walk, and all will be fine.
IT’S ALL NORMAL
Who’d have thought that it was such a relief to hear from him that it was all normal and that I wasn’t going crazy, and not really depressed in that sense?
And that what I was feeling was just all normal – a reaction because of all the tension that I was feeling the day before.
Now, going to the real deal…
HOW CAN WE MANAGE POST-EVENT BLUES?
1. Be Grateful
According to studies, gratitude thinking can substantially shift our thought patterns from negative to positive, causing a surge of feel-good hormones and even helping us foster more positive connections.
So every day when you wake up, try to start your day with gratitude. Be grateful for the simple fact you woke up that day, and at the end of your day, think of 3 things you’re grateful for that day.
2. Set aside time to relax immediately after your performance.
It may or may not sound cliche to some, but taking the time to relax after your performance and the event is a must.
Sit down, breathe, and relax.
3. Check your notes while they’re fresh.
Read the feedback, and take notes while they’re fresh. Say after your performance, reflect and jot down what went well and what you could have done better – doing this will make it clear right here and there and will give you the feeling that you know you did well and can always do better next time.
4. Be sure to wrap things up properly
I know how tempting it is to just jump right away onto your next project or things to do, but never forget the importance of being able to properly wrap the event.
Leaving a good ending is vital for both the audience and you. You know they’ll remember, and also you won’t end up stressing about how you forgot to do things necessary – things like invoices, contracts, the things you need to bring. Things like this can trigger you to break down when forgotten.
5. Interact with friends and family
You probably didn’t have that much time to connect with people during the preparation, so after your performance is the right time to interact with them. Treat them to coffee and celebrate, or just let them know you did well. Get in touch and it will help you feel better.
6. Treat it as a learning experience
Remember that every opportunity you get is an opportunity to learn. Write down, reflect, plan on how you could do better next time, and bring home the lessons together with the experience.
You know how they say experience is the best teacher, right?
7. Go back to your daily routine
When you’re preparing for things, this is one of the first things you get to sacrifice. After the event, it’s now time to re-introduce yourself to your routines.
Maybe you haven’t been exercising or watching your favorite shows anymore, or going for that quick walk or run outside – it’s now time to go back to the things you enjoy.
So when you’ve finally re-adjusted again… it’s time to:
8. Create new goals
“If you fail to plan, you plan to fail” – Benjamin Franklin.
Planning and setting up new goals is great for motivating yourself to take the road you just took but this time better and stronger, whether that is another event or just individual goals outside of work.
GET HELP IF YOU NEED
If it feels hard to decide what you want to do on your own – get a mentor. Reach out if you need help. It is always important and there will always be things that you can support.
Check HERE to see if you feel like we’re a good fit.
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