Taking a step back… sounds like getting behind, but it’s actually really helpful as it helps you see the bigger picture and plan better.
So what does that have to do with stress management? Well, just about everything.
I TOOK A STEP BACK
So the reason that I chose this topic today, is because I myself recently took a step back – and it’s for the better.
I was supposed to go to the States to United States and I didn’t. A big jump over the sea, right?
I’ve been planning this for months and months, and I was really looking forward to going there to meet with friends that I’ve made a couple of years back in the same kind of event that is for female ladies and business people in the States.
AND WHEN THE DAY’S ALMOST THERE…
Just about when the day was coming, it ran a couple of days before I started to get all these messages:
“You have to sign that you are healthy and don’t have Covid, etc., etc…”
You know it’s the liabilities about me taking responsibility for everything that will happen, and it
was from the companies – one for the overflight and one in local, the hotel where I was gonna stay, the hotel where the event was, and the organization that was holding this event.
So I got these five paper documents that I was supposed to fill in…
and I started to think:
“What am I doing? Why am I going there?”
I mean the only thing it was was for my pleasure, a business pleasure to meet with these people, and maybe find new people to meet up with. But I had no real part in the event. I wasn’t the speaker. I wasn’t in any of the programs or anything like that.
So I started to think:
“Is this worth it?”
“What happens if I do get ill over there?”
That will be a very big thing. So I started to feel that it just didn’t feel right.
I DID WHAT I USUALLY DO BEFORE DECIDING
So I started to do what I usually do when I want to see what’s going on, what’s good, and what’s what.
I started to write down the pros and cons and weighed them down – and it ended up with me saying:
“No, it’s not worth it.”
WHAT I DID AFTER DECIDING
After deciding that I won’t go, I told myself that I will go another time when things are better in that sense. So I canceled the flight and the hotel and the program and everything.
And if I’m being honest? It was both a relief and a sadness!
I felt relieved of all my worries, the paperwork, the what-ifs of getting ill over there, and the like, but also felt sad that I’m gonna miss meeting with these people I’ve looked forward to meeting again.
HOW DO I KNOW IF MY DECISION WAS RIGHT?
I feel it, I got rid of the “butterflies in my tummy” feeling in that sense, and I feel like I made the right decision in sitting this one out. The relief, the relief itself that I felt the moment that I canceled the trip was the major factor in knowing that I decided right.
If I go, it’s gonna cost me so much money, too much time, and even energy for ONLY THREE DAYS over there… without assurance that I can make the most out of it because of the higher possibility of getting the coronavirus since they had a higher amount of it in the place where we’re going to stay, and I couldn’t take that risk of investing so much in it only to end up getting quarantined.
THE EFFECT OF TAKING A STEP BACK
After a loooot of thinking and finally deciding to take a step back, I actually became very productive because I had a fresh perspective on the situation that actually really felt uncomfortable.
So yes, it’s all for the better.
BIG LESSON 1: DO NOT CLING TO SOMETHING
A good lesson from this one is to not cling to things.
So, sometimes we attach ourselves too much to things because we committed to something in one situation, and then the situation changes and it feels hard for us to accept because we clung too much in it, not expecting the possibility of unforeseen circumstances and changes.
LESSON # 2: DO NOT THINK OF WHAT OTHER PEOPLE WILL SAY
In my case, it was supposed to be a meetup. So what will they say if you back out at the last moment? Yes, you might hear things, but shall we really worry about those?
We spend too much time thinking about what other people will think about our decisions instead of listening inside – our gut and feelings, then in the end we end up drained – forgetting the fact that it’s something that can trigger too much stress in our body… forcing ourselves to do things that don’t feel right for us just because we’re worried about what other people will say.
But in reality, (not all) but most people only look for themselves. So what’s in it for us, right?
TIPS ON DECIDING WHETHER TO TAKE A STEP BACK
So how do you assess and decide whether it’s finally time to reset or just take a step back?
- Write things down.
- Have a (-) side and a (+) side on your paper.
- List your pros and cons on appropriate sides.
- Weigh down the results.
- LISTEN TO YOUR GUT.
One thing you’ll realize when you’re writing things down is that before you even finish… your gut already tells you what it’s gonna be – and that before you finish writing things down, some answer is already at the back of your mind… and that’s the answer you’re hoping for. You just have to acknowledge and accept that inside, it’s really what you want.
REMEMBER TO NEVER LOOK BACK
What makes it hard for people to decide?
Before they even get to a decision they already start to “look back”…
Always remember, that whatever decision you make, do not look back because looking back and worrying if you did or choose the other thing instead is just going to destroy whatever’s in front of you – and we don’t like that.
Go on with what’s in front of you…
Because remember, we always have a million choices, and we can never explore all of them. Trying to do so will make us crazy and more stressed, so just try to be logical.
There are so many options that it is absolutely impossible to see which one is the one and only best. It’s impossible because of the options and how it works you can’t compare them fully, and all that, so assess, acknowledge, accept, and move forward with the decision you just made.
When things get wrong, then that’s the only time again you take a step back and think – just not ALL THE TIME because you’ll never run out of options in life.
JUST STAY IN THE PRESENT
Do not cling to the past and be eaten with your regrets, accept what’s done and cannot be changed…
At the same time, never worry too much about the future. While it’s good to be on top and be prepared for what’s ahead… Always remember that setbacks are meant to happen, and many more unexpected things that can actually change your entire planned future. So, just know those things so you won’t be eaten with disappointments when situations get out of control.
Know how to enjoy the journey, focus on the present, and see that you can make new decisions when things get out of hand.
If it feels hard to decide what you want to do on your own – go get a mentor. Reach out if you need help. It is always important and there will always be things that you can support.
GET HELP IF YOU NEED
If it feels hard to decide what you want to do on your own – get a mentor. Reach out if you need help. It is always important and there will always be things that you can support.
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To your success and keep smiling,
