What is your most burning question about stress as a business leader?
You go to work every day. That is where you spend most of your awake time, especially if you are the boss. Shouldn’t that be feeling good, or even great most of the time?
Does it? Be honest with yourself.
Remember my last blog post, stating that 26% of the leadership felt uneasy about going to work, and over 40% in the tax paid systems workplaces.
Sad. Isn’t it? And scary.
Some years ago I asked a group of leaders: “What is your most burning question about stress?“
I got A LOT of interesting questions. And this one is not solvable in the easy way BUT it certainly needs to be addressed:
The question that I got was: “What can I do when the stress is not caused by me but by someone else who puts me in that situation?”
Honestly, it’s not very uncommon. We hear people most of the time complaining about something they didn’t even cause.
“I can’t control my situation! It’s absolutely unmanageable! My boss puts all the problems on my shoulders! My employees don’t do what they are supposed to! I always end up doing everything! My spouse has unrealistic expectations, and someone else always puts me in an overload!”
“I feel like a victim. The overload is killing me.”
Sounds familiar?
Okay, don’t get me wrong. Those situations are definitely normal. There is no quick fix or a one-for-all kind of solution as there will always be different solutions for everyone.
BUT what I can see, is the SAME PATTERN in all of them. You feel the threat from someone else’s problems – one way or another.
One step to clarity is to write about it. Laying it all down is a very good way to get clear on things, and you need it to know why things happen over and over again.
It is not about blaming yourself or someone else, but it is about the fact of what is. Put down all the pluses and minuses you find, and then organize them into themes. Ponder and rearrange if needed.
Depending on what pops up, the next step will be different for each and one of you.
It could be to talk to the person you find “dumping” their world on you. That could be your boss, your colleagues, your spouse, or whoever it was who did not see the pattern.
On the other hand, you might need to take drastic actions such as leaving your job or your spouse. Because you can not change them, you can only change yourself. If things end up in much more drastic actions, it might be good to ask for help.
The next question is completely different: “Is stress aging me? I feel like I aged 10 years last year! I feel tired like an old man/woman and I am still just in my thirties.”
The short answer is – YEP.
The longer version is yes, probably – if you are stressed for a long time. Short moments of stress are part of natural life. In fact, no one can claim they are never stressed, or they are lying.
Consequently, long-term stress will affect your immune system and cause many diseases, including bad skin, making you look older!
Also, it puts you at risk to get cardiovascular disease, stroke, hypertension, obesity to name a few. And not to mention, depression.
The #1 solution to this question is: Take breaks, lots of short breaks every day, or a long break in a month. Let your brain rest and your body relax and you will keep your stress hormone levels on a normal, healthy level – then you can function smoothly again. And you will get just as much done since you will do it right the first time.
The last question I want to share today is connected with the previous question: “Can I recover from long-term stress and regain my health?”
The answer to this is also YES.
Yes, you can recover and of course, it depends on how long it has been going on and if you have developed any irreversible damage. BUT IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS – you can REGAIN YOUR HEALTH and you can at least stop the progress of the chronic disease.
IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO DO IT RIGHT!
To getting your questions answered,
