“Sleep is for the week”, “Who needs sleep when you have coffee”, “I have many things to do, 5-6 hours of sleep is enough for me”– let’s stop patronizing these ideas, they’re not good for our bodies and never good for our health.
But how many hours of sleep do our bodies really need?
HOURS OF SLEEP PER AGE
0-3 months: up to 18 hours
4-11 months: 12-15 hours
1-2 years old: 11-14 hours
3-5 years old: 10-13 hours
6-13 years old: 9-11 hours
14-17 years old: 8-10 hours
18-25 years old: 7-9 hours
26-64 years old: 7-9 hours
65+ years old: 7-8 hours
The above is a guide or a framework we can use as a guide to how many hours of sleep we need according to our age.
But, it’s important to remember that like in everything else, when it comes to sleep…
THERE IS ALSO NO ONE SIZE FITS ALL SOLUTION
But how is that, if the sleep hours are clearly stated?
My explanation here would be simple. Our everyday life doesn’t look the same, so one person might be needing to do too many strenuous activities, forcing the body to need MORE rest than normal – you get the point.
So…
HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU’RE GETTING ENOUGH SLEEP?
Well, it’s time you reflect and ask yourself every time – or have a journal or some sleep tracker. When you wake up and you feel good, track how many hours of sleep you had, and when you wake up feeling tired… also track how many hours of sleep you had.
Recognize your own body’s pattern and listen to what it’s telling you. If you feel tired every day even after sleeping 7 hours, then maybe your body needs 8. And if you feel good and energized, then try practicing sleeping that right amount.
IT’S IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER…
We have to complete all 3 stages of sleep in one night: Light, wherein our eyes are closed but still too easily to be woken up, REM, which happens after about 90 minutes of falling asleep, where our eyes still move (rapid eye movement) while closed and where most dreams occur, and Deep sleep, where our brain waves have slowed down and it’s harder to wake us up.
And yes just in case you’re wondering, it’s also normal to wake up several times during the night. Just don’t do anything that can disrupt your melatonin like checking your phone or something to not make it hard for yourself to get back to sleep.
THE RISK OF SLEEPING LESS & SLEEPING MORE
Studies show that sleeping less than 6 hours a day increases the risk of Alzheimer’s, heart & blood vessel illnesses, and some kinds of cancer, and obesity for the younger ones.
On the other hand, sleeping more than 9 hours increases the risk of some types of cancer too. Which means… The safest thing to say is at about 7-8 hours of sleep every day, to have the lowest risk of getting these illnesses.
IMPORTANCE OF GETTING THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF SLEEP
Aside from being on the safer side of all illnesses… sleep has so many positive effects so we must keep up with our brains, their functions, and their processes.
Scientists have also shown before that when we sleep, some kind of cleaning process happens in our body, like getting the “waste” products out of our body.
TO SUM IT UP
Wrapping it up, and feeling what works for your body’s needs while sticking to the framework as a guide… is our safest bet to getting the right amount of sleep our body needs.
It’s not every day we get a good night’s sleep… sometimes even after sleeping a complete 8 hours, we wake up feeling bad. So, how do we make sure we get a good night’s sleep?
HAVING A BEDTIME RITUAL
“Okay, time to go to sleep!”
Here’s a question for you, sleepy head…
Do you usually prepare before bedtime or do you just rush into bed, close your eyes and wait for the sandman to come?
If you say rushing… Science shows that for most people the best is to prepare for sleep by winding down, at least by making that last hour different from your rushed everyday time.
So yes, a bedtime ritual…
THE WRONG WAY…
Many people, many, many people watch TV right before bed, thinking it’s their way of “winding down”…
Well, kudos for at least recognizing the need to wind down. However, If this is you, I also feel the need to tell you that studies show that turning the tv on before bedtime disrupts sleep cycles as anything that stimulates the brain before bed may be detrimental to one’s ability to fall asleep.
If that works for you with no issues at all, great! But for those who don’t…
HERE ARE A FEW GUIDELINES TO STICK TO
Take an hour before going to wind down and make it a ritual – the same every evening so that your brain will eventually recognize it as a signal to bedtime.
SOME GOOD THINGS TO TRY
Taking a quick hot shower
Taking a hot shower hours before bed helps in reducing our inner body’s temperature, which helps in making us fall asleep at night. We can also put on some thick socks and get our hands warm, then just relax in a dimmed-lit room after showering.
Avoiding too much movement
No hard exercise before bedtime, or anything that can stimulate happy hormones. That won’t make us feel sleepy, right?
Instead of going for the hard workout, opt for soft yoga and stretching, to feel relaxed in preparation for bedtime.
Diving into your book before sleep helps you feel relaxed – as long as you don’t choose exciting, or hardcore thriller books that will give you the opposite effect.
Playing some mellow music
There is no question about music’s magic, ever. Choosing the right music does wonders, all the time – even if it’s for getting sleepy.
Those are the good things I personally can recommend, and in case you’re wondering where the alcohol goes in the list…
We’re talking about getting a good night’s sleep – not getting the “sleepy” feeling because yes, the right amount of alcohol can make you sleepy, but it doesn’t give you a good restorative sleep.
So if you want a good resting sleep, avoid alcohol just as you would avoid screen as it suppresses our sleep hormones melatonin.
So to answer your question, yes – choose the soft, boring, relaxing activities to wind down and wake up feeling refreshed the day after.
You probably have heard about daily journaling many times, as it’s a frequent subject of discussions about personal growth. The question is, why?
DAILY JOURNALING WORKS
Yes, if the question is why then the simple answer is BECAUSE IT WORKS.
Let me ask you a quick question:
“Do you journal?”
Have you answered yes? Great! Have you answered no? Maybe you must start trying.
Do you know what another answer we frequently get for this question aside from a simple yes/no?
“I know I should, but no I don’t.”
Interesting, right?
HOW YOU CAN JOURNAL AS A HABIT
Most people – at least in the business world, say that they know they should do journaling as a daily habit as it would be good for their business, but still end up not doing it.
I’d say…
The very first thing to do is just get a pen and a notebook, and start writing even without much thinking – just let your thoughts flow. Believe me, you’ll be amazed!
Also… a tip: Refrain from using the word “should”, as we know that when we use it, we most of the time end up not doing them, because of how the thoughts enter our subconscious. Instead, let’s tell ourselves: WE HAVE TO – so our subconscious won’t end up having too many excuses.
WHY SOME PEOPLE DON’T JOURNAL
Going back to what I mentioned, the answer here would be as simple as: They don’t know where or how to start.
Why? Because before they even begin to write they think of things like:
“I’m no writer”.
Or
“I feel like my thoughts are too complicated”.
But hey…
Let go of those thoughts because they don’t make sense in journaling.
In journaling, you don’t need to be a professional writer – that ain’t the goal of that. It ain’t not for publishing, yeah?
Same as if you feel your thoughts are too complicated… exactly why you must write them down! Know how things suddenly become so organized after writing them down and being able to clearly ponder? That’s also how it is in journaling.
So again, just let go… And just start writing. 🙂
WHY DO JOURNALING?
Journaling helps you organize your thoughts – helping you make more conscious decisions. It’s a tool to find YOUR WHY, sort your feelings, comes up with new ideas, discovers yourself and your inner being… and many more!
Plus, you’ll realize how much of a big help it actually is when you have something to come back to and reflect on. You’ll see your personal progress, you’ll see how far you’ve come by, and you’ll see things you still need to improve and work on.
TIPS ON WHAT TO WRITE
If you are a beginner or just planning to start journaling soon and looking for ideas to write about… Here are some:
1. Your Activities + Feelings
What have you been up to recently? How did you feel about them? What did you enjoy the most or what bored you to death?
2. Significant Events + Your Reactions
What happened today? Are there things that made you feel happy or sad? Were there words uttered you liked or didn’t like hearing? Were there sudden changes? How did you react?
3. Future Plans + Essential Steps to Take
What do you plan for yourself in the next 3, 5, or 7 years from now? What are the necessary steps to achieve them? Does the current thing you’re doing resonate with your future plans?
You can start with those 3 things for now, and see how they affect you personally. You’ll be surprised how those simple things can help make you realize huge things!
Also, make it fun! Don’t force yourself to sit endlessly long with your journaling… So if you get tired of it after 10 minutes – just stop without guilt. 😉
Why does it seem so easy to other people to hit it on, but we always feel like it is sooo hard to even start a conversation?
This is a long stretch for many people. I get it!
I know from myself – being an introvert – still am but have found ways to walk around it.
But when I was younger I was always in the second line of people – never upfront, never saying a thing except when I was treated deeply unfairly, especially by a special teacher in high school, but when I spoke up, I got myself in bad trouble!
She liked me just as little as I liked her. Teachers who have very obvious favorites have never been my favorites.
Maybe you share this experience with me..
Today I want to talk about ways to connect with people – new ones and old ones too! Make the conversation and connection a good one, help them grow, and help yourself grow.
1. COMPLIMENT
The first way can be to compliment someone or say something nice to them in a nice and honest way.
It doesn’t count if you just say it so you can but then you know you don’t mean it – you’ll be surprised how many people actually can read genuineness from afar.
FIND THE BEAUTY
Who Doesn’t want to speak with you when you let them know how great you think their shoes, hair, shirt or car is? Find the beauty and let it flow.
I am sure that in just about any situation you can find at least ONE thing you can honestly say positive things about.
PRACTICE
You can practice this by doing it in all meetings you have with other people, and you’ll get used to it that it will come naturally every time.
You also don’t know how much you can light up a person receiving your compliment, and that tiny positivity you started will spread around and it will be a win-win for everyone.
2. GRATITUDE
When you share gratitude with someone for something they have done for you, it is the perfect open door for a conversation.
This works a little bit like the giving of compliments But focuses on something they have done for you that you can be grateful for.
It does not have to be big life-changing things, it can be very minor actions, like opening the door for you.
IT WORKS 2 WAYS
Gratitude works in 2 ways. Your brain gives rewards to YOU for doing it by making you feel good, and of course, the receiver, a simple thanks could always go a long way.
Who knows where this ripple effect could lead?
3. SMILE
The power of a smile – is my favorite. So easy, always at hand, so effective!
Yes, smiling is contagious and science has demonstrated that over time and time again. Your smile may be the perfect catalyst for a conversation also with people you don’t know from the beginning.
A smile is irresistible. It is extremely hard not to smile back if someone gives you a smile, and you can use the smile just to spread happiness even if you don’t aim to start a conversation.
I have talked about the smile tool for many years now – and I still love it. I was an introvert – but smiling is easy.
4. CHECK-IN ON THEM
Give them a ring or send a card!
The pandemic has not been a ton of fun for anyone, making the community experience the pandemic as the perfect catalyst that can bond two people – asking how someone managed the pandemic life, and now that when the pandemic is on its way out we can still find thousands of other reasons to check in on friends and family.
5. A QUICK HELLO DOESN’T HURT
A simple hello can be the catalyst to a great conversation on the street, at the office, or in your community.
Who knows who you might get connected with based on a simple hello?
KINDNESS IS THE BASE
As you by now may have gathered is that all 5 ways are based on the same principle – kindness, – and it is contagious
All of my examples – compliments, gratitude, smile, friendly check-in conversation, or just saying hello – are all based on Kindness and have astounding ripple effects, so a little kindness can go a long way.
Kindness is CONTAGIOUS – an odd but true thing to say.
An even more fun fact is that kindness is more contagious than a virus, as it works EVERY TIME.
“How is that possible?”, you might ask.
Well, that is made possible by our little mirrors…
Or basically, our neurons mirror the behavior of each other, as though the observer were itself doing the act.
THE MIRROR NEURON THEORY
Imagine walking one day to grab your morning coffee, and someone just greeted you “Good Morning” with a big smile, you automatically smile and greet them back even if you do not know the person.
Then you will notice that you’re suddenly spreading positive vibes with the people around you, you carry the smile for a longer time and you pass it to the people you encounter, and of course, they pass it along too.
That also applies to negative emotions, that is why when someone is having a bad day and spreading negative vibes in one room, you just feel like you want to get out because you also feel the negativity as if it’s yours.
Additionally, we mirror back ourselves. When we do good deeds, like giving compliments or expressing gratitude, we produce feel-good hormones in our brains which make us feel so much better.
So the more we do it, the more we feel good and the higher the chance of getting it back.
MORE CASES
Not enough proof?
Why do you move your leg or get the urge to do so when watching an intense football/soccer game?
Why do you cry when you see television actors cry? Why do you laugh when they laugh? Why do you feel the emotions so much as if what’s happening to the show is happening to you?
I know, it’s astonishing to even imagine how it works. I was astounded when I first heard about it too, but I think science first figured out the theory because of the smile scenarios – that if I smile at you you automatically smile back despite not knowing each other.
KINDNESS FROM A BUSINESS PERSPECTIVE
Let’s analyze this from a business perspective.
A lot of businesses today or at least their leadership believe in using push methods which are stressful.
Being pushed to do harder can be motivational if done right, but most of the time makes the person feel more pressured than motivated.
They might look like everything’s alright at the moment, as they have no problems working too hard, but in the LONG RUN, they will start to feel overwhelmed, and demotivated, and you will notice the work getting slower. You get stressed out – and in the end, burned out
Why? Because the push method only works for short-term relationships, if you want to build a long-term one, you have to do it right and make sure that what you release is positivity so that in return what you get is efficiency and effectiveness.
Businesses, it actually goes for every activity – business or not – activities are supposed to be fun and not all seriousness, as if mixed with a good amount of fun, the value comes.
Feelings of all types have ways of getting into us no matter what.
WHAT TO DO NEXT
So the next time you encounter anyone, use this mirror neuron theory to spread goodness around.
THERE IS NO NEED TO HURRY
However you want to start a conversation, remember that you do not need to hurry or pressure yourself. Do it when you’re ready! You don’t want to stutter or say words not thought about, to avoid it from backfiring.
If you want more help with self-development, here’s a copy of my free e-bookso you can jumpstart your journey!
Unlimited stress leads to disease. That is the inevitable worst case scenario.
Last week I showed that stress is grades on a scale from normal “healthy” stress to severe disease – read it here.
We saw that some stress is part of normal life. Today I will talk about what happens in your body and life when you stress too much. Read this and you might want to do something about it. (more…)
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